Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi there,
Any advise would be great. My nearly 13 year old daughter was diagnosed with ASD back in October last year. We find that we are always having to have the same conversations over and over. For example she likes to have the volume up so loud when watching her iPad or listening to her music with her headphones on. We tell her daily to turn it down but she doesn’t ever seem to listen. We’ve explained its to protect her hearing. It’s so frustrating for us. Does anyone else go through the same thing with their children. Any suggestions on ways to get her to listen and take on board what we’ve told her? Or explanation as to why she doesn’t listen? Sorry if this sounds like a really silly question.
thank you in advance for your advise.
:-)
It can feel like they are being stupid or deliberately disobedient to annoy you. It's neither. It's just the way that your young person processes means that some things don't sink in the same way as they do with neuro typicals.
My suggestion is to remain calm, give one step at a time instructions, not giving explanations at the time of the incident. When you explain why not to do something you're potentially providing lots of complex information, possibly overloading her. Maybe try social stories or similar, at a calm time, to get across the why.
I'd love to tell you that I've found a perfect solution and we now don't have the repetitive conversations but they still happen and I still have those thoughts about it being to annoy. The above may, or may not, help you and your daughter reduce these incidents.
Ahh, I’m sure you regularly are of help to your friends and family.
thank you again.
Glad i came to good use for once
good luck
thank you for your explaining your experience with this. That is incredibly helpful. My daughter also talks to herself but it’s often reenacting something she has watch or a programme that she likes.
your advise has been great. Take care.
Hey, I think that your father's case sounded like dementia.
Hey, I am around the same age as your daughter that you mentioned. I am writing to you because I think my experiences may help you understand your daughter a bit more.
I like my music loud to the point where I can't hear myself. I like it because it helps me drown out the noise from outside. I like to be able to talk to myself so having the music louder helps me feel safer. The silence can be overwhelming for me and the music makes me feel more comforted.
For your daughter, see if you can invest in some noise-cancelling headphones, that way she can listen to music and it will block the outside noises so it does not have to be that loud.
I hope this helps a little, sorry I don't have any other advice.
You have my deepest sympathy, but no real practical advice. I hope other people here will be more helpful.
I had a similar problem with my late father, he would start a pointless argument and then repeat it every day, after day, after day, for months. He never took any notice of what other people were saying to him. Communication with him was very difficult with him. Several strategies work, although I wouldn't recommend any of them.
It's a difficult situation.