Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all, I have a 9 yo dd who I have suspected from babyhood to be on the spectrum but Iv ignored and tried to manage symptoms on my own (badly). She is high functioning but I wonder if there are any benefits in seeking a diagnosis when she has no learning disability or physical impairments. she is a high achiever at school but I just am worried that I don't have the knowledge or tools for her as she enters her teens.
Without a diagnosis, I would not have been able to access the support I needed to sit my A level and university exams when my sensory issues and phobias became too great for me to sit them in a conventional exam hall with other students. Academic ability alone will not necessarily guarantee an individual can complete their education, and sensory problems can intensify in autistic individuals as they get older and social dynamics/environments become more complicated. If your daughter ever were to hit some kind of 'crisis' point and need immediate support, her diagnosis may help her to access the right kind of support as quickly as possible. (Imagine having to go through the process of pursuing a diagnosis to get access to support while she is in some kind of meltdown because of an unexpected situation.)
I just don't want her labelled. She already feels different to her peers and i worry that a autism label will make her feel worse. Also school have no idea and I doubt that if they had to file a report for multi disciplinary for diagnosis they would concur that she shows no symptoms. She tells me she holds it in all day and then let's it all out (like a hurricane) at home. Biggest issues are sensory, rituals, obsessive interests, poor friendships, emotionally immature (she's 9 but my 5 year old would have more emotional maturity) she has a subtle tick, she is withdrawn at times and very full on at other times. she suffers massive anxiety when we have to go anywhere. Birthday parties are a no go. Any type of change in routine can be overwhelming for her. Yet in school she just goes with it. I'm so lost.
Girls with autism masking is very common. You often hear parents say their autistic child is ok in school but loses it when they get home.
I do get you not wanting to label her but having lived that life of feeling different to my peers, I felt a lot more different before my diagnosis. That gave me a reason. Without the reason I just felt like a freak.
It would be worth talking to the school. There may be some subtle things that they don't pick up on at the moment. At least they could be aware of her then.
That is why I'm here starting to come out of denial as I can see she has started to view herself as different. but I'm unsure if she would even pass in an assessment as on the spectrum as she is so good at masking.