Is my child lonely?

Hi Jen, I can’t speak for your boy, but I’m 51, I was diagnosed about 15 months ago and even though I’ve had pets, previously, I’ve never thought about them in the way that I am now. 

I realise that I love to be by myself, and that’s ok. I also realise that I do love to be around other people, however, as much as I love that, due to my nature, and the way I experience the world, it’s simply not possible for me to live a stress free life being around people too often. 

So, knowing what I now know, I realised that just because I can’t be around people too often, it doesn’t mean I don’t have needs. 

So I’ve looked at my needs. And one is for companionship and also one is to be outside in nature. I love to be outside, but not more than I love to be at home, by myself, engaged in my special interest or just staring into space. 

I have also realised I have a need to connect with others but again, as much as I enjoy doing that, I don’t enjoy it more than just being by myself at home. 

So I’ve worked out, that when I’m ready, I’m going to get a miniature red poodle. You have to be careful with the ancestry etc, but if you get one with the right temperament, they are easy to train, they’re very obedient, they don’t shed hair and they’re not too big. They’re great companions and they will keep my active mind busy. You also have to brush them every night and have their hair cut regularly, etc.

All of these things will force me out of myself and to engage with the outside world, to some degree. And of course I love walking and poodles can walk a fair distance, so they’re good for that as well and if I need to carry it, I can do that as well. 

But it’s a personal choice. There are many ways to increase access to more social activity, getting a dog is only one. And I’m not doing it because I’m lonely, because I’m not. It’s to help meet to meet my need to intereact with the world, to some degree. I will do that through my work and other activities, but I’ve figured that getting a dog will force me to also keep to some sort of regulation or routine going for myself. 

As much as I love to be by myself, I’ve figured that I surely wasn’t meant to live a solitary life, so it’s about meeting my needs for interaction and relationship with, what I call, the outside world, in a different way. And I’m thinking a dog will fit into that. Although I’m also a world traveller and live in other parts of the world at times, so I’m not sure I’m ready for a dog yet, but I can definitely see the benefits, in so many ways. 

That Chris fella who did a program about his childhood love of his pets and his autism etc, might be something worth watching again or for the first time, if you haven’t seen it. I couldn’t even engage to that degree with a pet when I was younger. It really was just me and my little light in my little world. But I did have a big family, so that’s a big difference. I remember crying when our rabbit died but I didn’t understand why and I didn’t let anybody see me cry. 

Does he have a tendency towards animals? 

Hi Jen, I can’t speak for your boy, but I’m 51, I was diagnosed about 15 months ago and even though I’ve had pets, previously, I’ve never thought about them in the way that I am now. 

I realise that I love to be by myself, and that’s ok. I also realise that I do love to be around other people, however, as much as I love that, due to my nature, and the way I experience the world, it’s simply not possible for me to live a stress free life being around people too often. 

So, knowing what I now know, I realised that just because I can’t be around people too often, it doesn’t mean I don’t have needs. 

So I’ve looked at my needs. And one is for companionship and also one is to be outside in nature. I love to be outside, but not more than I love to be at home, by myself, engaged in my special interest or just staring into space. 

I have also realised I have a need to connect with others but again, as much as I enjoy doing that, I don’t enjoy it more than just being by myself at home. 

So I’ve worked out, that when I’m ready, I’m going to get a miniature red poodle. You have to be careful with the ancestry etc, but if you get one with the right temperament, they are easy to train, they’re very obedient, they don’t shed hair and they’re not too big. They’re great companions and they will keep my active mind busy. You also have to brush them every night and have their hair cut regularly, etc.

All of these things will force me out of myself and to engage with the outside world, to some degree. And of course I love walking and poodles can walk a fair distance, so they’re good for that as well and if I need to carry it, I can do that as well. 

But it’s a personal choice. There are many ways to increase access to more social activity, getting a dog is only one. And I’m not doing it because I’m lonely, because I’m not. It’s to help meet to meet my need to intereact with the world, to some degree. I will do that through my work and other activities, but I’ve figured that getting a dog will force me to also keep to some sort of regulation or routine going for myself. 

As much as I love to be by myself, I’ve figured that I surely wasn’t meant to live a solitary life, so it’s about meeting my needs for interaction and relationship with, what I call, the outside world, in a different way. And I’m thinking a dog will fit into that. Although I’m also a world traveller and live in other parts of the world at times, so I’m not sure I’m ready for a dog yet, but I can definitely see the benefits, in so many ways. 

That Chris fella who did a program about his childhood love of his pets and his autism etc, might be something worth watching again or for the first time, if you haven’t seen it. I couldn’t even engage to that degree with a pet when I was younger. It really was just me and my little light in my little world. But I did have a big family, so that’s a big difference. I remember crying when our rabbit died but I didn’t understand why and I didn’t let anybody see me cry. 

Does he have a tendency towards animals?