Published on 12, July, 2020
My son is being assessed for autism at my initiation and pursuit. He is in year 1. I have older children on the spectrum so have an awareness of the signs and traits. I pursued a private assessment whilst waiting for the NHS assessment because I am aware of the dragged out process from past experience. Both adhd and autism were reported as highly likely.
The report was shared with school But he had been subtle in his behaviours there up until a recent transition into breakfast club. Anxiety took over him and the fight or flight response kicked in (and out!). He was excluded permanently after 3 short weeks. 3 weeks which were disruptive for him due to the Xmas timetable at school, resulting in frequent room alterations - where he did not cope due to joining different children as clubs (infants and juniors) combined to share facilities.
Breakfast club felt they could no longer meet his needs and suggested he needed 1:1 provision. I know school have forced their hand. The club is a separate business from the school but run on their premises. On his last day at the breakfast club he had a meltdown because his safe space had been taken by two other children. He ran off around school with me in toe trying to help him. He threw chairs and pencil pots. Teaching staff came and shouted at him to stop. Then told me I needed to take him home - whilst he continued to kick and punch me (clearly I could do very little with him at that moment and just needed to keep him contained and safe). I felt like they might as well have waded in aswell the way they looked at us and spoke to us. I was scolded at because he was in a teachers classroom before 8:50am (I was invited to take him in by said teacher) but this made me feel like they didn’t care because their job starts at 8:50am anything outside of that - tough luck when a child and mother were very clearly in need of help not judgement. Later that day I received a phone call from breakfast club to say he was excluded.
To me he has been excluded due to his disability. One which with time could have been supported and successfully achieved - once he had established a relationship with his key worker. Is this not discrimination??
How do parents work if they have disabled children? My job was already term time to suit.
Sorry for the journal! And thanks in advance
With the breakfast club being separate to the school, they are well within their right to say they cannot meet his needs. If it were part of the school then they may have been able to do more to make it something he could access. The breakfast club will have a ratio of staff for the club. If your son were to run off when you weren't there then they would need 2 staff to go after him. Without funding this just wouldn't be possible. The school can't do anything about it for a separate club. You would need to speak to those responsible for the club. The local authority might be able to help.
It can be hard to make adjustments for these things when a child is not diagnosed as the school needs money in order to do these things. They can apply for emergency funding if it is becoming problematic.
It is not fair of the school not to help you in that situation. You shouldn't be made to feel like that when you obviously needed help.