Published on 12, July, 2020
3rd time in about 6 months now. This time he really went for it.
First two times hes thrown things at me - albeit 2nd time a large battery.
This time he decided to dig me in the stomach because he didnt agree with me telling him off for something. We went outside and I did grab him and tell him to cut it out (probably not best idea thinking about). But then he started swinging, hit me a few times cut my lip etc.
One thing I didnt hit him back although I felt like it.
Really don't know what to do. I could have phoned the police I guess and got him taken to the cells (this is what CAMHS are telling us to do).
Dont know what to do. For now, we;ve removed his PC, his mobile, his bedroom door.
Hes all sorry but this is not the first time. With a wife whos smaller than him and a 4 year old sister (hes lost his temper with her in the past) I just dont know what to do.
One thing I just don't understand is his total lack of seeing consequences. In all honesty, all he sees is his PC - nothing else matters. Even his OCD doesnt stress him - he treats it as more of an inconveniece that takes him away from his PC. Which I guess is why hes not interested in taking time to do things the counsellor asks - its more time away from PC, easier to just continue as is? Dunno.
One thing I don't understand. Last week we almost called the police. He knows this and he knows how serious it was. He was VERY upset afterwards.
Thing is this week hes forgotten about it. Hes back to his old ways. No effort to do anything at all and still playing up. Its almost as if the potential risk of having the police called, maybe being arrested is not even entering into his thoughts at all? Surely most people would be mortified that they might be arrested, it would worry them and they'd make sure it didn't happen? Is the Aspergers makign him like this?
We did take his PC/phone away. It was more of a way to try and focus him a little to spend time thinking about things and realise how things needed to change. If he had his PC we know there is no chance of anything else.
So this week hes found his mobile phone and sneeked it out and got caught. I did tell him his behaviour was unacceptable and it almost kicked off again - I had no choice but to let it go. Last night then we caught him on his PC at 1am when he knows hes not supposed to be!
Yet hes constantly asking to have his PC back. I just don;t get how he seems to not even appreciate when things are not right. Does he really think that going behind our back is going to go unnoticed?
Not so much punishment as realising that things need to change.
IS this Aspergers behaviour?
One more little thought. All this about testing boundaries in adolescence sounds right.
I'm just thinking that while routine and good habits are common to autistic and non-autistic wellbeing, and even a neurotypical boy might have problems seeing things from your point of view, one of the smaller differences could be significant.
Three hours on the PC a day might sound sensible, but with hyperfocus and different attention-switching, that really may not be very long. Maybe, just maybe, things would work better with 8-10 hours non-stop on the PC on a Saturday, gradually winding down towards the end (so a game can be left between levels or in a boring bit), and then none at all on a Wednesday or Thursday to allow other interests to develop.
Yes hes been good last week so we've been more flexible on the weekend. We're sticking to the 3 hours on weeknights because otherwise with having tea, having a shower, homework it means he'd do nothing else.
One of his big OCD things was time in the toilet/shower. Sometimes it was over 90 mins. Which is why the counsellor sugested charts/timer etc. Now we tell him PC after shower and it seems to focus him.
Down to 20 mins now which we were REALLY surprised at.... Good on him hes trying to make an effort. Fair play.