For years my daughter has been a nightmare, from waking up to going to bed it' a constant battle. We thought she'd 'grow out if it ' but having been reading up on her behaviours it's pointing to PDA. She screams/shouts/negotiates/manipulates whenever she's asked to do the simplest thing. Brush teeth, brush hair, tidy to room, come down for dinner, you name it she'll have a full on blowout. Its' like she doesnt understand that we're the grown ups and she's the child. I asked her to tidy her room yesterday, she full on glared at me and shouted no. So I asked her again, and explained if she wanted friends to stay she has to tidy her room. She replied 'why do I have to' then shouted NO! About an hour ago she had her phone taken off her (she was being rude) and she was sent to her room. She came down demanding her phone back, we told her why we'd taken it off her and to go back to her room to which she replied (rather angrily) no, give me my phone. When told no again, she went upstairs and totally trashed her room!(not the first time) That's just a few examples. Most nights I'm in tears. But when she's in school, she's fine. We've had no calls regarding her behaviour and she's excelling in the creative studies. Would a specialist see her behaviour is fine in school and just blame our parenting skills? Or would they give a diagnosis? We also have a 2yo and im concerned that my eldest might just lash out at her (she has lashed out on little ones toys when youngest was there) and she's starting to copy some of her sisters behaviours. Sorry for going on, I just don' know what to do or where to go.
You might want to have a look at the information page on PDA here on the NAS site. You can find out what PDA is, the characteristics, and the process for getting an assessment of PDA in your child - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/what-is/pda.aspx
The PDA society also has information that walks through the process of getting a diagnosis step by step and is very detailed, so though this might be helpful as well - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/families/diagnosing-pda
Hope this is of some help,
Ross - mod