Hi Everyone I am new to the forum
my names kayleigh, I have 4 children, 3 boys and 1 girl. Their ages are 10, 4, 3 and 1. My 4 year old has ASD. I was just wondering does anyone ever get down with life just the pressure of it all, the repetitiveness, the meltdowns and behaviour ect? Or is it just me?
Its so bad and extreme sometimes that I feel like I can’t carry on and do this anymore. It’s so draining and I just don’t feel like I have any sort of life. Am always tired, am mentally drained, I have zero energy!
please does this get any easier/better?
We have various different resources for parents here on the site, like the Parents and Carers advice section - http://www.autism.org.uk/about/family-life/parents-carers.aspx - or the family support services - http://www.autism.org.uk/services/community/family-support.aspx. We also have a directory of autism related services that you can search to find additional help and support in your local area - http://www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx.
However, since you describe feeling drained and low energy and perhaps won't want to sift through all this information at the moment, I would recommend you call the NAS helpline and describe how you're feeling and what might help you, and see what advice and support they are able to offer. The number for the helpline is 0808 800 4104, and it's available 10am-4pm Mon-Thurs, 9am-3pm Friday. I hope you're able to get some support that eases the pressure you describe.
Hope this is of some help,
Ross - mod
I really understand you.
I feel like this at the workplace.
I just can’t seem to snap out of it. I feel very down and depressed and am trying not to for my kids.
Hi, my daughter is 4, almost 5, and I feel just as you describe! I feel zero energy, I feel like she sucks my energy away and I have no time for my other kids because when I try she goes mental. I feel mentally and physically drained and I don’t have anybody else to help me.
I can say one thing though some days are easier than others, and usually it is a trigger that sets us off on bad Days/weeks. For example she was doing really well for about 3mpnths until she was told by a social worker her dad wants to see her again (this was 5weeka ago) and still she is disruptive and can see a massive change I. Her behaviour!
i think as life goes on you will notice the triggers and be able to avoid them but as our children are still young we may have a few years of never ending battles ahead haha!
Sendingg you hugs and healing wishes hun!
I also feel very down and depressed at the workplace.
I simply put a mask. I am simply formal there and do the absolute minimum.
I can say that I do not have work-life balance.
Its so bad and extreme sometimes that I feel like I can’t carry on and do this anymore. It’s so draining and I just don’t feel like I have any sort of life.
So, you are not alone!
I suffer every day. My health keeps going down because of this.
I feel mentally and physically drained and I don’t have anybody else to help me.
Hi Kayleigh. Im new to this forum also. I know exactly how you feel. My son is 9 and has Autism, ADHD, OCD and Anxiety. Life is not easy. I am always tired and mentally drained too. I went on anti depressants over a year ago and i feel much better. Would you consider this. I didnt want to do it but I hit rock bottom and had no choice. However I do have a better quality of life being on them. Its not just you that feels the way you do. You are the same as millions of us out there. I know it doesnt feel like it at times though. It can feel very lonely. X
Aww thank you so much for your kind words.
Yes it’s just very frustrating. As you described you feel like you don’t spend enough time with your other children as they are either sucking the life out of you or taking up all your time and attention and this I feel guilty for. It keeps me awake at night I think oh I don’t spend enough time with so and so today or I don’t think I played with the baby enough or did I tell my kids enough that I love them today. I just feel like a useless mother.
i avoid going out public places as much as i can as when things trigger and it all becomes too much sensory overload there is no stopping him. People stare, whisper, shake their head or just think you can’t cope. They judge without knowing that he’s got a disability even though it’s not a visable disability. Thank god we have a garden ha ha.
I am wondering whether to contact social services myself to see if they can provide some sort of help and support
i do understand I am not the only one in this situation and there is millions of parents and carers that are going through the same thing everyday but as you said it is a very isolated and lonely place to be.
I have friends and family yet none of them offer any support. I have tried anti depressants in the past but I have never felt as bad as I feel now. I think I need a trip to the doctors. Hopefully it will pass.
thsnk you for your advice x
Do you have a child with ASD?