First time on here so good evening to all.
My daughter is 8 years old. Having worked in special needs for over 10 years, I am confident enough to say that she does not present with significant traits of ASD. However behaviour over the years that myself and wife have been aware of have been presenting more and more in recent months. I read more frequently that ASD in girls presents much more subtlely and we're not sure if we have genuine concerns or are neurotic parents.
As my little girl is making progress at school, class teacher is not overly concerned. My daughter does access a weekly sensory bus as she finds it useful to self soothe and re-regulate. During parents evening I asked if they had concerns over ASD and they did not. Anxiety is a huge problem at the moment. A school production has sent her anxiety through the roof. Every morning has been a battle and whilst we want to encourage her to take part, the visible signs are going beyond normal. Sleeping is huge issue at the moment. It's almost 11pm and she is still calling down from her bedroom. It seems that physical touch/contact from us is the only method of soothing her.
Any changes to her daily routine cause distress. Whilst she can cope at school behaviour wise, she's vey keen to follow the rules, when she returns home from school we see a very different picture. She frequently goes into meltdowns and similar to a lot of ASD children, she bottles up emotions in the day but once the top is off, we see an eruption.
She has been motivated at school to achieve success through a points system. However she has achieved all available to her and she s very confused as to why this cannot continue. We have tried to explain but her rigidity in thinking cannot compute what we saying. She is often vacant at home. She frequently spins and asking her why, she says it relaxes her. She will watch TV stood on her head as it is comfy.
She struggles with friendships and emotions. Children will ask her to play but she does not know how to respond and appears rude.
She obsesses with interests for months on end until complete over saturation.
Oh and also, you can reassure your son that he can still get a job. If he has a diagnosis, the company must make "reasonable adjustment" to the environment/work by law, to enable him to have the same opportunity to do the tasks at with a similar ability as someone without autism. Also, if he doesn't struggle with that much - we're all different - he might choose to not even disclose it to his employer, he's under no obligation to do so.
I've been working at the same firm for the past 17 years in IT, and I excel at my work, for which the company is appreciative. I may not attend the social gatherings but I can solve problems like no-one else can. It's not essential but if he can find a job where he uses his gifts, this can really offset any negatives. It also depends on the culture of the company - mine prides itself on it's inclusivity. We have a Pride movement, we have people who are gender reassigned, we have a Wellbeing group who are very active on-site, mindfulness sessions each week, all that sort of good stuff.
Autism essentially just means that we struggle with specific aspects of life, but we can have adjustments to help us with certain things or to cope better. This should give hope to your son.
Thank you! It sounds like you were amazingly thorough and I bet your GP was very grateful. Can't find any info for our area online but I know that it goes via CAMHS and I've now seen the forms that I had to do for my youngest (which I stupidly didn't copy so no longer have) so have a good idea of what needs to go on there. I've managed to book an appt for 8 May so we've plenty of time to compile our evidence before then!