Things maybe not going as well as I thought...


I am mummy to an ASD diagnosed 5 year old beautiful boy. He’s funny, kind, loving and very special. His areas of developmental delay are typical of that of an autistic child, where his behaviour, communication and social skills are behind. He’s currently in Year one of mainstream school. When he was in reception, he absolutely thrived. The reception staff really seemed to get him. They catered so much for his needs, he came on so well. I thought the same had continued into year one, but I’ve been hit with an epiphany this evening and I’m not sure things are going as well as first believed. Since September, he hasn’t been sleeping well at all. He never has been a good sleeper, but where this seemed to improve, he seems to have gone back to old ways. Since around the same time in September, he has been having a lot of issues with going to the toilet. He struggles to go for a number 2, which will then affect his bladder. He has such a fear of passing a stool, he holds onto his bowel movements for days at a time, which then makes him wet himself multiple times a week. When he does go for a number 2, he screams in pain. He did have an issue with this before, but movicol sorted the problem and seemed to ‘train’ him into correct toilet training. But again, since September, this has been a major issue. So has his diet. Being autistic, he has a limited food intake. He only enjoys food of the same colour (beige) and will only eat the same foods every day. He has struggled since around the same time as his sleep and toilet issues to enjoy these foods, not being able to extend his diet to anything else. We thought all these issues were linked. But have never thought for a reason as to why they’re happening. 

Until now

I now work at the very school my son attends. I only work two days a week. I’m starting to become concerned about the way he’s settling into his class. Where I thought he would struggle with learning without play, like children do in reception, I believe the more structured approach to learning is of benefit to him. However, he doesn’t receive any additional support and there’s areas I can see he’s struggling. In the mornings, the school expects all children to enter school and arrange their coats and bags accordingly, unaided. Where I’m trying to get my son to do this, even putting extra pressure on him, he just cannot get it. He struggles to coordinate himself. Even though he does know where things need to go, getting him to do it is hard. The same is said for the end of the day. In fact, it’s becomung increasingly common for him to be left alone in his class whilst he struggles to coordinate his coat, bag, lunch bag and bottle and come out. I often have to enter the school and find it concerning that he is left unattended. I’m also aware that he is struggling with lunchtime and being in the playground. Three times since September, the school has failed to provide him with his lunch. He’s struggles with being in the playground and is having many issues with other children and the way they treat him. 

Im worried that the school are beginning to expect too much of him. Let it be said too, that at home I have to do everything for him. I have to dress him, wash him, feed him his breakfast. I have to aid him constantly when commuting by foot and generally care for him. These things are not provided for him at school. I feel they expect him to direct and compose himself like other children and the simple fact is, he can’t. They are aware, of course, of his diagnosis and are brilliant at realising that he is unable to communicate and follow instructions, but I think there’s a lot they don’t get. 

Could it be possible that the transition to year one has had this effect on him? And is continuing to do so? 

Any advice would be so grwstfully received. 

Thank you