Son potentially assaulted at school and hardly anything has been done about it :(

Hi there not sure if this is the right place to post? My son is 13 and was diagnosed with asd at the age of 3. We fought hard and got him into an autism specific unit that is part of a large comprehensive school. He has his lessons with the mainstream children and a teaching assistant with him at every lesson. Last week he was in P.E and had to use the toilet. He was given a fob to go himself and another boy also went with him from mainstream. The one to one didn’t go. When my son came out of the toilet the boy was waiting outside for him and blocked him from leaving the toilets. This isn’t nice to write but the boy then asked my son to do sexual things to him with his mouth! My son was petrified and kept saying no this isn’t right and tried to leave several times and he was stopped from leaving and threatened that if he didn’t do it the boy would tell everyone he had done it to someone else. Eventually the bell rang and he managed to get out of the toilets and the boy followed him and threatened violence if he told anyone!! 

He reported this to school and they made him sit down and write out his statement of events then put him in a taxi at the end of school as normal and sent him home!! No phone call to me whatsoever. He came home hysterical and told me himself! I should have been informed.

telephoned the school and they said they would “investigate”the matter and speak to the boy. I felt that wasn’t good enough so called the police myself. They were fantastic and said it was an attempted sexual assault but were pretty powerless in schools and if this happened on the streets they would have arrested the boy. The police then went to the school and held a meeting with the head and myself.  as the boy was usually no trouble and hadn’t done this before (what kids usually have?) and that he had denied it and only admitted to holding him in the toilet and pretended that he had tried to warn my son about paedophiles and never to put his mouth over Mens private parts ?!?! the school suspended him for 2 days and said there wasn’t enough evidence!! Even though the boy admitted holding him in the toilet and speaking inappropriately to him! I am so upset about this and it has shattered my son. He has been to the doctors as he isn’t sleeping and is petrified to go to school. They have moved the boy out of his lessons but he is still roaming round the school in front of him. I feel that because my son has autism and the boy in question is a sporty popular boy from the mainstream they are not taking this seriously and the police are tied due to the red tape within the school system!  So sorry for enormous post but I just wanted another view on whether or not I should be trying to do more to get the boy excluded? Thanks so much for reading 

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  • that is so awful !!!  sadly there isn't a lot more that can be done, in my experience.  My son suffered a sexual assault in our area and although there was lots of evidence, all that happened was that the boy was referred to counselling by the courts.  he was still left roaming about and my son was afraid to go out and play.  i took matters into my own hands and spread the word that this boy had sexually assaulted another child (i did not mention my son's name)  the family left the area within 3 weeks.  I would rather that the police or courts had dealt with it more appropriately but they really have no power as he is a minor.   i would never advocate a witch hunt but perhaps spreading a few rumours (you don't even need to mention that your son was involved) might end in the boy having to move schools.  sorry i cannot give you any better advice x

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