What have I done

I feel so desperately sad and guilty for getting my son his diagnosis. Ben is 14yrs old and was diagnosed early this year. He has really struggled with what he perceives to be a horrendous label. Last night he got so upset and angry he smashed half the room up shouting how he hates the teacher that first mentioned getting him assessed and that he wakes up every morning scared friends will find out and he feels that each day is as bad as if he heard I was dying and he would rather die than go through each day feeling like this. I feel so guilty that I went through the assessment process, I feel like I have ruined his life when all I wanted to do is get him the help to achieve as much as I now he can achieve. I know he needs counselling to get through this but at the minute he refuses to go anywhere that is anything remotely to do with 'The A Word' as he calls it.

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  • As mild has said I spent 50 odd years not knowing why I wasn’t fitting in, I wish I had known when I was young, back then as Robert 123 has said any form of different was given the name spastic, As a young unknowing boy I visited the local spastic Society shop with great joy, It was my chance to find treasures for pennies, I remember the manikin outside had a boy with leg calipers on, it was there to put money in, he was holding a box, I thought the shop was for all boys with calipers to help them, It was used as  a derogatory word, 

    One day he will understand the importance of receiving the diagnosis, for me it will give me validation as for why I struggled and still do, 

    He needs to know it isn’t a disability And with a little help he can achieve great things in life. There are so many famous and notable people that were autistic, do a search and you will find many, He will come round eventually,especially as he has you, it must have been a big thing for you to accept his diagnosis, 

    my thoughts go out to you, be strong and come here if only to talk, we all share a common knowledge and some will help better as they may have gone through what you are going through  now.

    take care ().

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