What have I done

I feel so desperately sad and guilty for getting my son his diagnosis. Ben is 14yrs old and was diagnosed early this year. He has really struggled with what he perceives to be a horrendous label. Last night he got so upset and angry he smashed half the room up shouting how he hates the teacher that first mentioned getting him assessed and that he wakes up every morning scared friends will find out and he feels that each day is as bad as if he heard I was dying and he would rather die than go through each day feeling like this. I feel so guilty that I went through the assessment process, I feel like I have ruined his life when all I wanted to do is get him the help to achieve as much as I now he can achieve. I know he needs counselling to get through this but at the minute he refuses to go anywhere that is anything remotely to do with 'The A Word' as he calls it.

  • Hi,

    Please don't feel bad.  I wish I had known when I was younger that I was autistic.  I had to live the first 53 years of my life not knowing, and wondering why I didn't fit into society.  I am now doing my PhD.  There are good role models out there, you need to find them for your son.  Perhaps don't mention the A word for the time being.  Or there is a book written by a teenager about autism that may be useful.

    But please, don't feel bad.  I'm sure it was the best thing to happen to your son, he just can't see this yet.

    It is a pity too, that being described as autistic is a derogatory term within some young people's circles.  Perhaps it is used in his circle of friends/acquaintances.  

    Sorry, I feel useless in this situation, but felt I needed to reply.


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