Published on 12, July, 2020
I definitely suspect I'm not.
Because I don't like most of the things that most people seem to like e.g. music. What's that all about? I don't like it.
My body doesn't seem to have the same illnesses as most people and definitely reacts differently to medicines and treatments than most people.
I can't even eat the same food as most people, I eat a very different diet to them, basically a subsistence diet, eating to survive, not for pleasure.
Also the other massive evidence is: I'm not aging. I am 53 but look like I'm 33. People I meet from long ago are shocked because I look the same as I did when they last knew me. I haven't changed in 20 years, that isn't what most people do, they get older. My husband is noticeably aging, so is everyone around me. But I am not.
I've just kind of accepted I must be an alien or something. There is too much evidence that I'm different.
it's my friends approach to poemwriting, modified
Decadent movement his style,
as with everything I adopted i move it few levels up to another dimension L:OL
I think I get it?
in the evening, I had interview today and waiting for result, so far 1:0 with new approach, if it will turn 2:0, then I will tell it to everybody here here
i no longer think i need to fit, without convincing myself shouting and swearing
so for the moment i changed mantra,
Can you explain more clearly?
it's working, I dug up something week ago that looks like holy grail, i will know this evening
but I convinced my subconscious mind already, and if i try to think like, hide something during interview, my mind is saying no automatically, before i finish thought
now i do
I know how to do it, and I want to do it, so I will do it because I can
That's good advice, Mariusz. I give up trying to fit in and try to fit out. Whatever that is, lol.
first step is stop thinking that
so i practise it in front of mirror, with swearing and shouting, expanding the fu,ck off with all that bullshit
I have decided no more of whats expected, and turned seriously radical in everything, and i can write in that state :D
moderate that outside home, no swearing and shouting
lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
I've never achieved anything, never will. It's too hard to do it all alone.
Probably not. I don't know anyone the same as me.
i was always just me, species of one,
buddies i used to play Warhammer at college were joking
''Man, you are going to die alone, there is no other specimen of your species'' lol
then you accomplish great things, as species of one
Any free spaces in this new species?
It means 'to be honest'.
I've decided today. I'm not identifying as human or homo sapiens anymore. I just can't relate, understand or identify with them anymore. I'm going to be a species of one and keep away from 'them.' I don't know who they are anymore.
I'm ready now, bottles placed in strategic locations around my flat, and one in a backpack i take with me going out
But i got dehydrated many times in past badly, to the feinting point, sometimes at work, sometimes playing on PC and losing track of time
I've seen a person trying to piss out kidney stones once, i remember ever since lol
I've just started experimenting with millet. I throw a bit in long cooking soups for a nice thickener.
The advice I would give myself now when I used to look a lot younger is 'let them talk down to me, then ask them to clarify what they mean.'
When I was about 14 one of the girls in my class asked me, "Speaking as an outsider, how do you view the human race?" I completely missed the significance of her questions, just thought it was witty humour, a concept I was having trouble with at the time...
I think you are right. As a kid playing with my lego, I'd simply "not notice" the early warnings, being so absorbed in my play, that I'd suddenly realise I had to go. They tested me for diabetes, so often was I seen rushing to the bog! The "being kind to my body" thing, now includes regularly asking if if it wants a pee!
I almost forgot the best joke ever made about me being different
buddies i played warhammer at college used to say, regarding no grilfriend issue:
man, you're going to die alone, there is no other specimen of your species
roughly translated LOL
so you silence the quiet voice in your head telling you that you are thirsty telling it: quiet you impertinent one, you had your drink yesterday
next time it's affraid to speak up
Lol yes all the time. At times it feels like I'm another species like the only one of my kind