What made you realise you have/might have autism?

Hey all, hope this is okay to post.

I’ve recently started to realise I may have autism - I originally thought it was ADHD but when I started looking at the crossover I realise that autism might be playing a role too!

I was just wondering what were the signs that originally made you realise you have/might have autism? Especially if you were diagnosed as an adult rather than as a child.

And a follow on question - looking back what did you do as a child that was likely due to autism? I want to get tested but seeing other peoples experiences I’m worried about the process - my memory is so rubbish I’m worried they’ll think I’m just wasting their time.

Thanks in advance! Yum

  • Hi I like to be called jt

    I have always been diffrent and have not really fitted in.   I have maske so well early in my life thst people thought I was just shy awkward or just plain rude.  

    I self diagnosed myself with autism when I was around 30, I worked with autistic children and realised I had some of the traits when training and spending time with these children.   I could always relate and understand their moods and needs better than any one else and I could help them and give them strategies to help them improve.   It wasn't until this year at 40 I finally got the diagnosis.   The reason I did that was people would ask me for advice and support for either themselves or their kids.   I started to question myself and think I was a fraud so I went for a diagnosis.  I feel better about myself and want to educate people.

  • I always knew I was diferent from everyone else but I never understood why. I always thought it strange that I fell out with friends really easily and that groups of friends would always make the effort to keep in touch with each other but not me

    My brain has always worked in an autistic way but since I am not inside other people's heads I assumed thats how everyones brain worked

    I first started wondering if I was autistic when I started working as a Teaching Assistant for autistic kids and I started to notice that some of them were a lot like me. I was in an abusive relationship at the time so I quickly forgot about this and carried on pretending to be normal

    About a year ago my struggles with people socially were so bad that I went online and started looking into whether I might actually be autistic. It was like a blindfold falling from my eyes. Everything I was reading just described me so perfectly. I cried. It was like my whole life finally made sense. I started reading stories from other autistic people and it was like they were describing what was going on inside my head. I realised I wasnt a wierdo or a failure and that I wasnt alone, there were other people like me!
    I took many tests and was top of the scale with all of them

    My doctor agreed and I am currently on a waitng list for a an assesment. 

  • Thanks. Sorry I just found your reply because I can't follow this damm forum.

    Yes, how could they? I suppose it was 1980s England- stiff upper lip, keep calm and carry on.

    Absolutely ridiculous. My 'friends' cough cough cough told me to grow up and stop trying to get attention. So I got different friends.

    But I was not allowed to talk about my dad for about 10 years in case I upset other people. WTF.

  • It was discussed when I was a child but I seemed to “grow out of it” - when I read about masking and the different ways that autism presents in different genders, I realised I hadn’t grown out of it, I’d just learned to hide it!

  • "Not artistic. Autistic"

    that bit, yes :D, 

    no worries, we enjoy looping :P

  • Brain farts today.

    I'd actually answered this, more in depth, about a month ago. Smiley

  • 1 - Someone told me I was probably autistic.

    2 - Many years ago I googled "Why do I hate everybody?".

    I found a forum discussion where someone mentioned personality types, and included artistic types. I'm an artist, so that made sense.

    Someone else responded "Not artistic. Autistic"

    HAAHAHA

  • As I became more aware of needing to socialise with people, it felt like there was a big book on what to do socially; and I hadn't been given it to read, but everyone else had.

    Another analogy I use is the tutorial stage in a video game - I felt like my tutorial level had been skipped and I was in the middle of the game not knowing any of the controls or where to go or what I'm doing!

    I suppose a big sign was just how anxious I got over things that other people found easy to do. Like going to a supermarket, or group projects in school, or meeting up with friends in unfamiliar environments.

  • and the truth will be revelead, it's like that I think for most of autistic Slight smile

    looking at a photo it seems you would like my friend, he's is self-learnt dog's shrink, he's lovely adopted staffy buldog Princess 

  • Like others here I always considered myself different but recently read about Vice Admiral Nick Hine (easily Googled). Never heard of him before, didn't know him, but it was like reading an extended analysis of my own personality.  It was me. He was me. I had nothing in common with the man, I’ve never met him, it’s unlikely that I ever will, but in some weird way, he was me.  Spookily, creepily, me. 

    I'd always dismissed autism thro ignorance (I've had a pretty successful career, so obviously, I wasn't autistic, right?). But once the suspicions had settled, one thing led to another, and (like a lot of people with autism) I read-up on it in huge detail - perhaps a bit obsessively, with hindsight.  Not just books and articles but peer-refereed academic papers.  It all reinforced my suspicions. 

    Self-diagnosis or guesswork wouldn't work for me - just a personal thing, doesn't apply to everyone - so I had to know. I needed an objective, clinical assessment.  NHS assessments take years, apparently, so I did it privately with a service approved by my GP and at the age of 64 discovered that I was, indeed, autistic.  So-o-o-o many cogs dropped into place and so much of the past began to make sense.  Bit sobering, still taking it in, but at least I know.  

    I guess the answer to your question ('what made you realise?') is personal testimony.  I've always believed that two of the most powerful words in the English language are 'for example' and that seems particularly true in the case of an autism diagnosis.  Autism is different for everyone but if you recognise yourself in someone else's 'this is me' autism story that's going to engage your attention. I have never been in the Royal Navy, had little to do with the services, and on so many levels have nothing in common with Nick Hine; I suspect (but don't know) that much separates us; and yet in so many other ways, his life experience was mine.

    I think a lot of storytelling needs to be done to bust the mythology; the entire topic is full of tropes, cliches, misleading generalisations and misused terminology (like "Asperger's").  Credit to the Admiral for speaking out - I took it further, because I saw myself in him.   

    My memories of childhood are also fragmented and I wonder if I subconsciously don't want to remember some things. A lot of it is quite personal and difficult, and I wouldn't relate it here; but looking back on it, it all fits.  I was about where you are six months ago.  Whatever decision you make, good luck with it. 

  • The first time I went around my boyfriend's house the first thing his mum said to me was "are you diagnosed?" Laughing But I didn't believe it and I was in sort of in denial for ages.

  • When I went to university at 28 and other autistics mistook me for being a diagnosed autistic Sweat smile and then my support tutor asking if I had aaspergers. Figured I better check it out and then my mind blew

  • Back to the original question in this thread. The simplest answer is 59 years of difficulties, with a further difficult 2 years before someone agreed. And another difficult 4 years since when just about no one would agree, but during which time I self-added ADHD & dyspraxia (amongst others) to the bucket list. The evidence has continued to arrive almost daily for the last 7 years. The 'why' it turned out this way will probably never be answered, and it might well be a mix of genetics, natal trauma, childhood illness and head injuries anyway. But not likely to fall down any time soon. I guess I have quite a stubborn and recalcitrant streak, which also accounts for my being quite solitary. Life goes on!

  • I always thought I was normal and everyone else was weird, til I was probably in my early 20s. Then people started telling me I was odd/ weird/ strange/ funny etc. and I realised it was the other way round.

  • So, in conclusion I'm normal, I see no issue but there appears that I may not be as "normal" as I thought I was and here my journey begins...

    Yes, I've always felt the same. Normal but different. Everybody else was a bit odd.

    Literal thinking and communication can be fun, and troubling at times. I often say something as an observation and people will take it as a judgement, or an insult. But It's too much effort to find delicate language so people don't get upset. Even when I'm trying to be delicate or sensitive, I still think I'm upsetting people.

    We're normal, everyone else is weird, hahaha

  • My wife.

    I always thought I was "normal". But what is normal?!

    I grew up in Germany, my father was stationed in Germany and ultimately my parents stayed there and became MoD civil servants. I went to a German school. I became bilingual extremely fast, within a few months I could speak, read and write German and then greek and Turkish as I sought my friends from the migrant community as the 1970s were still a bit anti allies.

    My life revolves around uniforms and, as a child, I could identify any nation's uniforms, rank structure and insignia. I owned over 800 books regarding any uniform I could find, buy, borrow etc.

    The one thing that eluded me was friends. I'm a non threatening male and most if the people that wanted to hang out with me were girls, my male peers were odd (well, I suppose normal) wanted to shag everything, take drugs, fight etc so I struggled to find a "girl" friend as they wanted to be my friend.

    I'm very literal which was seen as rudeness by my teachers and when I was told to get out (if class) for being me, I left the school premises. No one said wait outside the classroom.

    I joined the army, became a supply specialist which didn't challenge me. I volunteered for the ALAT, the army language aptitude test and scored 100%. I'd never learnt Kurdish but the test, which was Kurdish, was easy. An IQ test followed which came back high, 147% but still, nothing made sense. 

    A few years later I left, joined the ambulance service and became a paramedic. My world has always been black & white. Rules must be followed and I'm apparently very rude. I'm not, I'm honest. I try and be friendly but I have just learnt how to fit in. I struggle with facial  expressions, body language, intonation etc but this was normal (for me) so didn't think of much when people get funny with me.

    Early this year my lifelong tics became worse after medication was reduced after a back operation. Motor and vocal tics which I've had all my life (and caused hell in the army) became worse and of late caused an issue at work.

    So, in conclusion I'm normal, I see no issue but there appears that I may not be as "normal" as I thought I was and here my journey begins...

  • This is a very similar experience to mine.

    I was wondering if you would mind posting or PMing me the Twitter account name of that person, as I would like to have a look at that too?

  • its hard for me to think of myself as still capable of work at 62 !

  • Yes, some people are just too thick to realise it's a joke, why bother eh.

  • nowadays I would do it anyway, It stopped bothering me, there loss I say, it's them being thick