Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I have been in a relationship for almost ten years with my partner. Apparently for the first year I lied and pretended to be into a loving relationship and when we started living together that all went out of the window on my part.
We have argued loads over the years about my lack of interest with intimacy. I started to speak to a counsellor who quickly suggested ASD. Now it all makes sense and when I said to my partner I didn’t understand what was wanted of me I wasn’t being a prat, I really didn’t understand.
I don’t feel the need for intimacy like my partner does. She feels unloved unwanted the list goes on.
I know what I need to do to make it right and after we have these discussions or I sit and listen, I do make an effort but then it is not on my radar any more and I revert and the whole cycle starts again. I do love her equally. It’s just I don’t need intimacy to make a connection but I have to understand that she does.
I’ve been trawling through the forums to see if anyone had posted anything similar but could not find anything.
I’m guess I’m looking for people in similar situations to me!
This isn't something that affects me, but was a common theme in the two relationship books I've read. The Other Half of Aserger Syndrome, and neurodiverse Relationships. I wasn't a fan of either book, they pathologise the AS person too much, and I felt didn't see it where both parties were equally different and so equally having to adapt. But there might be stuffin there for either you or your partner. Or look at the other couples books.
Reminders was a big thing in the books too!