Their are many things about supermarkets I dislike.
Things like the car park, the layout of and constant rearranging of the layout, people not being prepared to pay for their comestibles after waiting in the queue and then waiting until everything is rung up before hunting for their purse, the long queues, far too much choice in brands of goods. But my gripe today is about bread.
There is always plenty of sliced bread. But I don't like sliced bread except to toast. I like a nice fresh bakery loaf. Most times.I bake a loaf myself using a breadmaker. Bit with no yeast I found myself looking in the supermarket a full two hours before it closed both last night and today
And what did I find? The instore bakery had sliced all of a full score of loaves, both wholemeal and white leaving no loaves uncut. When I asked about this, I was told they 'have to' slice the loaves when they have finished the day's baking which put me close to meltdown. it does not make any sense to me as I am sure that many other customers would also prefer an unsliced loaf. I refuse to have a sliced loaf. I like my bread cut three inches thick so I can delight in the texture of the fluffy inner, feeling it melt away in my mouth. If I want sliced bread there is plenty of choice of sliced loaves, and I am quite capable of cutting it myself. Even a loaf sliced from the bakery loaf tastes totally different when it is cut into half inch thick slices rather than the chunks I like.
On both occasions they have lost a customer and I made do with a bowl of shredded wheat instead. And I will get some.yeast and continue continue to bake my own bread which will only be sliced at tje point of eating, and I can savour the flavour of a nice chunky piece.
What do others find annoying about supermarkets,, or is there anyone who thinks supermarkets are like Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way.
Not a fan of supermarkets, either. It's not just the awkward car parks, the jostling crowds and the noise. It's also the way they destroy High Streets, take money out of local communities, hold producers to ransom and create a standardisation of products under the guise of offering 'variety'.
I live in a town with a population of just under 40,000 people. But we have a big Morrison's, a big Aldi's, a Co-op, two Tesco Metros, a massive new Sainsbury's.... and now Lidl seeking local approval for a new mega-store (and apparently most local people seem to be in favour of it!)
I worked for a short time in the Morrison's. It was a slave camp. The worst part about it for me was the need to cut corners all the time in order to meet deadlines. So I suppose I can see things a little from that side of the fence.
I wrote this one day...
SHOPPING CODES FOR SUPERMARKET CUSTOMERS (AS OBSERVED BY A SUPERMARKET WORKER)
If you pick up a product anywhere in the store, then later decide you no longer want to buy it, it’s fine to put it anywhere at all other than back in the place where you picked it up. DVDs, for instance, can easily be placed between milk bottles or on a stack of apples. This also applies if you are less than 3 yards away from the original place. Chilled or frozen products can literally be placed anywhere other than a chiller or freezer. Conversely, tampons and teabags chill down quite well if you put them in with the pizzas or ice cream
Similarly, if you pick a whole basketful or trolley-full of shopping and then decide you want none of it, it’s okay to abandon the basket or trolley anywhere at all in the store – though preferably in the middle of an aisle where people can fall over it. Don’t worry – the staff will happily put it all back for you
If you see a product without a price, ask a member of staff if they could go and check the price for you. While they’re away doing this, put the product back on the shelf and go somewhere else
Never pick a bunch of bananas that’s exactly the right size for you. Always pick a bunch that has one too many bananas, then tear the excess banana off and leave it in the pile of single, torn-off bananas that no one else wants (they’re usually browner than the rest)
If you come to the ‘Reduced Items’ section and someone else is there in front of you, it’s okay to reach across them and take whatever you want without asking
If you have children, shout at them a lot
If the product you want has already been bought by all the people who managed to get to the store ahead of you, ask a member of staff why there aren’t any left, then complain that they don’t order enough
If you see a member of staff waiting to restock a shelf, place your trolley in front of it and stand for ages looking at a swede or a can of soup so as to stop them from doing their work
Never look left or right at a check-out queue in case you happen to see the person standing beside you who was actually there ahead of you (before you decided to join the queue at the wrong place) and who is now looking ready to rip your throat out.
Never care about anyone else in the store, ever – including the minimum-wage hacks who are there to serve you. Your interests are all that matter because the customer is always right.
I hate it when people just dump stuff on any old shelf, it seems so rude. If I change my mind about something I have to put it back in the right place, not doing so feels so incredibly wrong.
For me the main thing I dislike is the noise, especially those stock cages rumbling and clattering. The local sainsburys is otherwise pretty good as it has nice wide aisles and diffuse lighting although any place sucks when busy.
That’s a bit obsessive isn’t it? Putting things back exactly where you found them? Why is it rude to put them wherever you want? I’ve never seen a sign saying put things back in the exact same place if you change your mind or you are rude. I guess we’re all different but I would definitely see putting things back in their exact place or near enough, obsessive and unnecessary, unless you enjoy walking around supermarkets.
It just feels rude to me to dump it out and assume someone else will sort it out. Just because I feel that way does not mean I assume everyone else does as I'm aware people see things differently and I'd never call someone out on it. But this forum being a safe space to say what goes on in your head I'm just saying that it feels wrong to me. I like to be as polite and courteous as possible when out in the world as I find things go smoother and this is just an extension of that.
BlueRay said:That’s a bit obsessive isn’t it? Putting things back exactly where you found them? Why is it rude to put them wherever you want?
Let's use another example, then. You visit someone's home. You pick up an ornament from the sideboard, then take it to the kitchen and put it on the fridge. In other words, you've taken something from where it was put, and where it was supposed to be so that others can find it, and put it somewhere completely different. Putting it back where it belongs isn't obsessive. It's doing the right thing.
But then I suppose if you no longer feel any sense of guilt about anything, you might as well just carry on doing as you like, regardless of the impact on other people. How about taking a trip to your local greengrocer's shop today and start moving all the apples and putting them where the potatoes are. See how long it takes before you're kicked out.
I'm afraid you'll find, Kras83, that some people can't respect your way of seeing things and have to show them up as obsessive or somehow illogical. As if we autists don't have enough to put up with out there in the world.
Hi Tom, I don't think BlueRay meant to offend you, I think she/he has a way of putting opinions forward that is bluntly honest about what they think. You have a lot of respect in this community and I agree with you on many things, but I do have a slightly different perspective on this putting items back issue.
I can almost have a meltdown sometimes in a supermarket, so if I am screaming inside my head to get out of the place, there is no way I could walk what seems like miles around a huge supermarket looking for the correct shelf to put something back on. I also couldn't deal with having a conversation with a member of staff to ask them to take it back. Having said that, I would always put frozen or chilled food back in a freezer or fridge so it doesn't get spoiled.
Supermarkets make a lot of money so in my opinion it doesn't hurt them to move an occasional item, after all they are always moving stuff around where we don't expect it to be. I understand that working in one was a difficult experience for you, but I don't think that environment is a good fit for an Aspie - I couldn't work in one.
So I think it's best to just agree that some of us disagree on this issue.
Hi Pixiefox, I could have wrote those words myself, if I was able to not blurt things out so quickly and be less blunt as I said, I also put frozen and chilled food back where I got them from and I used to put other food back until after my diagnosis and I realised how I was hurting myself by putting things back all the time. When I put things back, it’s usually when I need to get out of the shop, quick, and now I know that’s all down to autism, I cut myself some slack and allow myself to just put things where I can (except for frozen and chilled food) so I can get out more quickly and safely and hopefully avoid a full on meltdown and when I’m in that state, I couldn’t speak to somebody if I tried. I go mute or I simply can’t get my words out. And I am now doing my shopping on line because after years of torture, going to these places, my support worker suggested online shopping ~ why in the hell I had never thought of that before, I’ll never know, but I start on Monday. I’ve had over a months preparation, I have to do things in stages, and although my mum said do it this week, I doubt I’ll eat much this week due to some stomach bug, so Monday it is. I can’t believe how good it is, it is soooooooo much better for me.
And thank you so much for accepting that my autistic nature means I am brutally honest and means I blurt things out, a lot. I know people can take what I say the wrong way, but honestly, I probably have more friends than most people (I don’t keep in regular touch with them, obvs ) because I am a kind and honest person, and that’s why people like me, but you have to not take what I say personally, otherwise you might feel offended.
I really appreciate your understanding and acceptance, it means a lot
I take your point, Pixiefox. I tend to only go to supermarkets during either autism-friendly hour, or late in the evening when there aren't so many people about. If it's busy, I would simply avoid it.
Pixiefox said:Supermarkets make a lot of money so in my opinion it doesn't hurt them to move an occasional item, after all they are always moving stuff around where we don't expect it to be.
Yes... but it isn't the staff who are making a lot of money. And they're the ones who have to take time out of their already over-burdened schedule to put the stuff away again. We weren't allowed to work over our contracted hours at Morrisons, so you had to clock in and out on time, otherwise you got docked or told off for exceeding your time. Which meant you had to do your jobs during your shift. And any supermarket worker will tell you that there is always too much that they have to do, which is why corners need to be cut.
It's not whole basket-loads of stuff I'm talking about. It's the people who will just take one item out of a freezer, then - often just a short distance later - decide they don't want it and dump it on a shelf. It has to be thrown away. We can't take risks. You can't tell me that all such people are autistic people on the verge of having meltdowns. It isn't just 'an occasional item', either - take it from me. We would find stuff littered all over the place.
Likewise, staff have no control over stock movement policy. I agree with you and others that it's very annoying. They do it as a marketing thing, and they can't seem to see that it p****s people off. But then, the bods who make these policies aren't the ones who have to take the brunt of the complaints. Again, it's the staff. Verbal abuse was rife at such times, with customers having a go at us. We'd tell them to write to head office and complain - but no: we were there, so we were the 'face' of the store, and we were the ones who were therefore going to get the brunt of it.
I'd say to people that if they find supermarkets difficult, then don't use them - or use them at quieter times if at all possible. Maybe try online ordering instead (no one on here can argue that they don't have the internet). Of course, it's the hegemony of the supermarkets and the internet giants that are destroying the alternatives, I realise that.
Pixiefox said:I don't think BlueRay meant to offend you
I don't, either. It's just the faux-naivete-seeming comments that I find irksome. Why is it rude not to put things back where you got them from? Maybe it's not rude, exactly. But I still see it as a 'couldn't care less because I don't have to deal with it' attitude (meltdowns aside, of course). It is neither obsessive nor unnecessary. It's realising that you've made a mistake and rectifying it in the proper way, instead of leaving it to someone else to deal with. If you actually paid for something and then decided you didn't want it, you'd take it back for a refund. Not leave it on some random wall somewhere. We can return things properly when it's in our best interests, of course.
It's often the kind of thing that we have a go at NTs about, after all. We also talk a lot about how good it would be if NTs could be more understanding about our condition, and where we're coming from with it. Well, maybe we could usefully try to be a bit more understanding about the people who have to clear up our randomly-placed unwanted shopping. And if people don't, quote, 'enjoy walking around supermarkets', then maybe people should take a list with them so that they know exactly what to get. Or, again, shop online.
Why does anyone think that things are put in particular places, anyway? So that people know where to find them. And if they don't sell what you want - maybe find somewhere else that does. None of the supermarkets in my locality sell all the vegetables that I usually buy. So I go to a greengrocer's shop instead. Smaller, less crowded, everything I want. Of course, though, it means having to take a little more time to visit another shop...
A final example to try to put my argument into some perspective. A library. I know they're different to supermarkets, but they can often be crowded and noisy places nowadays. Someone visits one and takes a Bukowski book from the 'Bs'. By the time they've reached Oscar Wilde in the 'Ws', they decide they no longer want the Bukowski. If they then dump it in the 'Ws'... is that fair on other library users? Or on staff who have to explain that it hasn't been checked out, but somehow isn't on the shelf?
And now, it's high time I checked out of the discussion!
* sighs of relief all around *
. said:faux-naivete-seeming comments that I find irksome
Yeah, being autistic makes it difficult for me to pick up on those things and even if I were to monitor my every word I would still get it wrong because I have different values to most people. But don’t worry, like I’ve said to others, I might be on the more severe end of autism, but I’m not stupid and I can take clear messages, finally, so I will stop bothering you. I thought I might be welcomed in a group of autistic people but you’re more like nt people than autistic people (to me) you seem to know what to say and what not to say, when to say it and when not to say it, what things offend and how to avoid them etc etc etc. I don’t have that manual which clearly makes me an autistic nuisance. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be. I only recent learned what one of those faux things are but I still don’t know all the things on the list so I’m bound to break the faux rules at some point, no matter how hard I try and clearly, that’s not accepted here. I guess I don’t belong anywhere on Earth after all. It seems I was right all along. I’m not made for a world that cares more about a tin of soup in its right place on a shelf, than people. Yes, I am naive but again, not totally stupid. I won’t trouble you good folks any more.
Hi Blue Ray, sorry to hear that. I hope you change your mind.
BlueRay said:Yes, I am naive but again, not totally stupid.
No, BlueRay. You're not stupid at all. You know exactly what you are doing.