Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't like looking at myself in a mirror.
The person who looks back at me is a stranger to myself. He seems remote, distant not like the person who is within me.
And together with this is 'what I look like'. I don't have to look at myself, so in a way I am not bothered as to what I look like. I have just had to have a new pair of spectacles as my previous ones were getting more and more difficult to see through, and were held together with tape with the lenses constantly dropping out. But I didn't have to look at myself, so I was not concerned about this as it was the misfortune of others to see me. I didn't see myself.
I have today had my haircut for the first time in a year. It was getting very long, and had begun to irritate me by blowing over my face and eyes. But I didn't have to look at myself so I didn't bother that it must have looked very untidy. It has now gone from 'hippy 1960's' to 'respectable'. But I still don't have to look at myself.
I don't like it when my facial hair gets too long. But I don't like shaving either. I won't use a mirror when shaving. My skin is very sensitive to a razor blade and I always cut myself so it has to be an electric razor. So I go from looking like I 'need a shave' to shaved look. But once again, I don't look at myself. The only driving force for it is that I begin to feel uncomfortable as I don't like the feel of my facial hair.
I must say that I do like the 'feeling' when I have just had my hair cut, and am clean shaved. But that isn't the motivation. The motivation is purely my hair on my head or face getting so long as to feel uncomfortable. And in the case of spectacles reaching the end of their natural life. And I still won't look in a mirror!
I would be interested to know if this is just peculiar to me, or whether others have similar motivations.
I don't like seeing myself in photos or the mirror particularly but I do look at myself. In some ways I really don't care how I look but in others I do. I'm not someone that puts effort into their hair looking really stylish or anything like that but I hate to look different from normal. I hate it when someone notices a difference.
I hate hair cuts but I hate my hair getting long too. I'm struggling with hair cuts at the moment because I need to find a new hair dresser and one that will just cut it and not faff about.
Glasses I'm also having a dilemma with. I hate the way they look and I hate the way they feel. But after many years of wearing contacts, my eyes are not as comfortable with them and at some point I may have to accept glasses. Again I hate looking different and I cant stand the idea of people saying "Oh, I didn't know you wear glasses".
This is all causing me a lot of anxiety at the moment.
Sorry I've just taken your post and made it about me. It wasn't intentional.
Don't apologise, it is meant to be a post as to how others feel about such things.
I certainly agree about having someone who will just cut hair instead of mucking about with 'styles', and all the rest. As I said, I don't look at myself so, within limits of course, I am not bothered what it looks like.
I am certain I will get comments on Monday from my work colleagues. And my reply will be that I couldn't come today so they sent me instead!
I'm just not good at situations like that. I hate comments about me. I can't take compliments either. I just turn completely awkward and cant speak.
I've had my hair cut once since my old hair dresser stopped. I liked my old hair dresser as she always cut it the same and she was totally not like any hair dresser you'd usually meet. She was totally blunt and talked about all the things she hated. Not for everyone but I liked it. The one hair cut I've had since, the person didn't listen to me at all and when he realised I was totally uncomfortable said "you're out of your comfort zone aren't you, well that's why people come isn't it, to be out of their comfort zone". Erm NO! I came to get a hair cut, I don't want to be out of my comfort zone. I left wanting to cry.