Near Troll posts

I don't want to embarrass the perpetrators of the posts by name, there have been more than one, but at times their appear troll like posts on these forums.

Perhaps it is inadvertant, but asking for advice and then showing little respect for the replies that are made in good faith, name calling using unacceptable language, putting across a belief that one has and then insisting this belief is irrefutable despite what others have said and with no evidence, or criticising others for valid views seems to me the sort of thing a troll would do. 

I don't know whether it is a 'road from Damascus' moment (the 'from' is deliberate as it seems to be that the eyes have been closed and not opened) but there has also been what appears to be a personality change at times.  We are autistic, but this does not mean we cannot work things out and with proper respect views can be contrary to those of others.  And sometimes there are members here with particular knowledge which is useful to others.  But posting information to further a theory of doubtful basis is not what I believe this forum is for, and one should expect others to put the alternative view.

I know I wind people up at times, hopefully not too many times on this forum.  But I do try to think about what I am saying, give information in good faith, accept other peoples contributions with good humour, and not spout rubbish. 

But there does seem at times to be people here with nothing to add to a conversation but spout nonsense.

  • That’s an excellent technique. I’m totally all for getting our thoughts and images down on paper. This is a really great technique for kids though. I hope I remember it. I might cut n paste it and keep coming back to it. 

    And don’t worry, I think, I might, well, I may, go to church today, or if coyrse I may not, but if I do, my baby boots will go with me ;) 

  • Darling... you must embrace the technique of putting party hats on monsters x

    A projective drawing technique, Dr. Crenshaw developed to address multiple fears, phobias, frightening dreams, nightmares, and PTSD symptoms in children is Party Hats on Monsters (Crenshaw, 2001). This technique was included in a review and recommended in �Fifteen Effective Play Therapy Techniques� (Hall, Kaduson, & Schaefer, 2002). This drawing strategy draws on both learning theory principles of titrated exposure to the feared stimulus and gradual desensitization as well as embedded suggestion based on the work of Milton Erickson that was later applied to children by Joyce Mills and Richard Crowley (1986). By the very act of trying to reproduce on paper the frightening image and discovering that no matter how hard they try they are unable to make it as scary as the image in their mind, they discover the power of defusing the fear by putting it out on paper and getting it out of their head. The embedded suggestions reinforce this notion by stating, for example, �It is very interesting what children discover when they put the scary monster out here on paper. They find it very hard to make it as scary as the picture in their head and they realize this monster is not as scary as they thought when they look at it in the light of the day.

    Also when you change the monster, shrink him, or put a party hat on him, he is no longer scary at all. The most amazing thing that children discover is that when they change the image out here on paper they can also change the scary image in their head”

  • Oh the boots are off darling. I couldn't even bare to have the poor things near me, I felt so wretched 

  • Darling, you look wonderful, but I can’t see your boots! X

  • That sounds like hell to me. Having to keep within someone else’s rules, having to think so much before talking, therefore, talking from the head and not from the heart. Trying to work out if what you are saying is controversial or not or trying to guess how others are going to understand what you say or how they’re going to take it. With so many people and so many views I would be hard pressed to find anything to say that came within the rules, beyond surface level niceties, that we learn for when we’re talking to nt’s. How would anybody know what another person would find unpleasant to read? And why would it not be possible for the reader to simply stop reading that which they found to be unpleasant? Why does it have to be the writer that stops writing? 

    And who likes seeing their writing on screen? Just asking cos I’m curious, as I’ve never heard of that quirk before. But even if they did, wouldn’t we be encouraging them to write rather than discouraging them thereby denying them of their pleasure? 

    There are a lot of aspies like me, who suddenly spout something that appears to be random, mid conversation. Are you saying we should squash this evil thing in us and stick rigidly, with maybe a little sway, to the main topic of the conversation? I can tell you, you would not get on with me and my pals at my autism group. Our conversations are totally random, and we love them. I guess that’s it, you and I are simply two people who’s needs etc don’t gel. 

    Anyway, the good thing for me is that you neither make nor enforce the rules. I’m grateful to be reminded that I go too far sometimes, with trying to explain my world view to other people. When really, it’s not possible because it isn’t even a possibility in most people’s minds, to live like I do, so their minds are not even open to it. And that’s perfectly ok. I’m grateful for the reminder and I will be mindful to keep my mind in the third dimension, which is where most people live, and I’ll speak that language. I can speak that language, it’s just that sometimes, when I’m relaxed and having fun, I start speaking from the dimension that I live in and that’s when the trouble starts because nobody’s got a clue what I’m saying and they don’t always try to find out they simply label it as something they don’t want to hear or they try to prove it wrong, or some other weird thing. 

    So I don’t know how that leaves you. I doubt every other person is going to stick to your rules either, but that’s your thing. For my part, I’ll be more mindful to use third dimensional language that people can understand.

  • I apologise Trainspotter, as we have now gone off on a complete tangent on your thread. However, it was done out of concern for Blueray’s wellfare (I fear, from previous threads this week, that she may have been feeling a bit belittled and unvalued), not with any intention to annoy or irritate yourself.

    No need to apologise for that, I regard people's welfare as paramount whatever I have said and that is more important.

    And I am guilty myself of going off on tangents, but I hope I never go off topic to spout controversial views.  I always try to 'engage brain' before opening my metaphorical mouth when replying to the posts on these forums.  Many posts I make take literally hours to put together, I tend not to put my thoughts down quickly and many times I write but don't post because I think it comes across the wrong way or in a way which wasn't intended.

    Whether my post does or does not refer to someone who has thought it is about them and replied here is not really my point. And I still will not single out any one person, there are posts from several different people over a period of time that are 'guilty' of the same thing.

    With freedom of speech comes responsibility.  A topic on say, favourite castles could go off topic occasionally to some town which has a castle,  and then another post could mention a famous inhabitant of that town or the beauty of that town and that would make interesting reading in that topic.

    But if someone then went on to write about their thoughts on global warming and putting controversial views that it was caused by the ingredients of milkshakes, that would in all probability be off topic and not suitable for that thread, especially if this then became a discussion about global warming or milkshakes rather than the original purpose of the thread.

    I just wanted to try to encourage the people to whom I was referring to think a bit more when posting, controversial posts will usually bring strong views which can then bring robust replies and in an off-topic post things can become unpleasant to read.  And it begins to look as if the only purpose of posting is because someone only wants to see their writing on the screen with no regard to the relevance to the topic or others reading it.

    I hope people continue to post on controversial subjects but please make a separate thread for it, and not change a 'friendly' thread into something controversial. 

    And that I hope will be my final word about this!

  • I apologise Trainspotter, as we have now gone off on a complete tangent on your thread. However, it was done out of concern for Blueray’s wellfare (I fear, from previous threads this week, that she may have been feeling a bit belittled and unvalued), not with any intention to annoy or irritate yourself. Unfortunately, I can’t find a means to send her a private message on here otherwise I would do that rather than gate crash your thread. 

  • I have never taken any part of your behaviour to be disrespectful, not in the least. You are far from that, despite what you might think about yourself. And yes, most people, in fact all of us (until we’re not) are our own worst critics, and I guess that’s what I’m often trying to say really, that nobody can hurt us more than we hurt ourselves. The thoughts we think about ourselves are often far harsher than what we would ever think about another person, no matter how bad we thought that person was.

    It’s not that you’re a hypocrite Tom, that’s just one way of looking at things and there isn’t a person amongst us who is not a hypocrite. But when we can see the behaviour of others, in ourselves, so long as we don’t approach it with judgement or criticism, we can come to a place of greater humility and compassion, for others and ourselves. And if we want to go deeper into things (it depends how far down the rabbit hole somebody wants to go) we will see that we can learn a great deal from the people who stimulate something the strongest reactions in us, by looking deeper into what it is within us that has been affected. 

    That will probably sound gobbledygook if you don’t know what I’m talking about. But I guess what I’m saying is, please don’t judge yourself harshly, not ever, and you definitely DON’T need to be a better person. In fact, is that even possible? Can anybody actually ever be any better than what they actually are? 

    Your kindness and your ever flowing demonstration (don’t know what word to use) to always help others whenever and wherever you can, far outshines any other qualities you have but all qualities, traits or whatever you want to call them, are good, even the ones that look bad ;)

    You have nothing to be sorry about. I know my world view is radical, by most people’s standards. I have met so many people in my life, being a traveller and living in lots of different places etc etc and very few people have not said ‘I have never met anybody like you before’ to me. I mean, how many other people, GENUINELY, see the world as absolutely perfect, just as it is and sees nothing but beauty and love all around, everywhere and in all situations? Lol! It’s radical, I realise that and I realise that because it is so far away from most people’s world view, it can be seen in all sorts of ways as people try to make sense of me from their world view perspective. I do help a lot of people though and like I said, even people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, but I should maybe keep the deeper stuff for when I’m working with clients or for people who are wanting to go deeper into their understandings of themselves and the world.

    My own web site will be up and running soon so I’ll use that space to talk more freely and when I’m on here I’ll bare in mind that most people are living in a three dimensional universe so I’ll keep what I say to that dimension. 

    Have a good day. I’m at one of my favourite coffee shops, I’ve managed to get my favourite seat and I’m going through my goals and reading emails etc, enjoying my coffee and just enjoying the day X 

    I’m not staying away forever, just taking a break :) 

  • Sorry Lone, I didn’t mean to sound so dramatic. Yes, I do feel like I need to take a bit of a break from this site but I won’t stay away forever ~ you are all far too precious to me for me to do that Relaxed  And you’re right, it’s just a matter of misunderstandings and not what I see in my mind as people hating me and wanting to get me off this site, again! 

    But as you, several others and the moderators on here, told me last time, I am welcome here despite my totally radical outlook on our beautiful, perfect and truly fabulous world Heart

    This is me, being all dramatic 

  • No, please stay, BlueRay.  I'm going to be taking time out myself.  I don't mean to have a go at you.  I admit I get very wound up by some stuff and it leads me to being unnecessarily strident and disrespectful.  It's a 'quality' that I don't like about myself.  You'll be surprised to hear, no doubt, that I'm my own worst critic - and there are times when I actively dislike the person I am and the way I come across.  I hate bullying - and yet I look at some of the things I do and say and realise that is exactly what I can do, too.  I'm a hypocrite.  I hate upsetting people, but I do it all the time.

    I need to take the time out, really.  I need to reassess my life.  I need to look a bit deeper inside.  I need to try to be a better person.

    Stick around.  You clearly care, and you do a lot to help others.  You're helping Ellie when she most needs it.

    I'm sorry for the things I have said.  I speak without thinking.  Maybe we all do.  I allow things to get under my skin.  I shouldn't.  Live and let live.

    Take care x

  • Yes, thank you for asking though Kitsun, I appreciate that and I don’t want to alarm anybody. I needed to not be spending so much time on here anyway, but sometimes, in fact, almost always, I need a little nudge to help me stop what I’m doing in order to do something else ~ I’m a bit like Forest Gump, when I start walking, I don’t  stop until I drop and so on and so forth, with just about everything I seem to do. 

    It’s extremely interesting for me to observe this in me. For example, I’ve realised that I literally don’t even like the change between day and night and it’s like I need something like at least 12 hours of me time, everyday, before I can feel like the day is now over! 

    It’s all good stuff and all this new data I’m collecting about myself and how I’m affected by autism and ADHD, will be used at my sessions with my autism plus worker so together we can figure out a way to make best use of my traits etc. 

    So even if I do feel like trainspotter and Tom are having a go at me, again, I take it with gratitude because I seriously needed to be spending less time on here. And yes, I’m very dramatic with my catastrophic black and white thinking ~ image ~ me, as a black and white movie star, feigning fainting lol ~ but yes, I’m very much ok. I just think that some people have a real aversion to happy people and some people don’t even think it’s possible to be happy all the time. I’ve had this reaction all my life, to the degree that for a while, I started to hide my happiness and live like everybody else ~ it nearly killed me! *** WARNING *** Never try to be normal! ;) 

  • BlueRay please don’t leave.

     Your part of the family, misunderstandings have occurred, 

    Be you as everyone else is and should be, your words are not intended to cause hurt in any way, no one deliberately tries to upset, 

    Having spent fifty plus years not fitting, being denounced for all I believe, then coming here allows me to truly be me, still not always fully understood, but tolerance and understanding is always there, you are you, unique and have your own beliefs and what you believe is you, never allow anyone to tell you other wise, I want everyone to also know that you are fully allowed to be you, believe in yourself, be strong, 

    We can’t all be right or wrong , individualism.

    X()x

  • As I said I was having a bad day!

    I do think there is a tendency on these forums, perhaps unsurprisingly, for people to go off on tangents half way through a post. There’s been a few posts which have started off on one topic but by the end of the thread people are discussing something completely different. I can understand that that might be a bit annoying, especially if you were enjoying the initial conversation topic but at the same time its probably fair to say that most of us on here have a tendency to go off on a tangent from time to time.

    There have also been occasions where a post topic  that been started, is also a topic that one particular user feels very strongly about so they feel the need to interject and put across their point of view. I guess if someone feels that strongly about a topic then it is understandable, though if they are stating their opinion very strongly it may irritate those who have a different viewpoint.

    Im not sure that I’ve correctly interpreted what was bothering you? 

  • Read it and I understand it better now! 

  • After another, simply delicious and ridiculously gorgeous, hazelnut chocolate spread sandwich. I have decided to come off this forum. At least for a while anyway. If not forever. Although that can’t be said. Because apart from the sun coming up in the morning and the power of love. There’s not much else we can rely on, to happen in the future. So who knows? Maybe this is the very last time I visit this site Shrug tone1‍♀️

    I’m not conjuring up any kind of blame or anything like that. Nothing of the kind. I am simply well aware that some people sometimes get upset by some of the things I say and on a forum like this, there’s no a lot we can do about that. 

    Apart from, take out of the equation, the person who is seen as the person causing the upset. Which, in this case, is me. 

    I’m guessing this is true, that it’s me, who is believed to be the cause of some people feeling upset. And I’m guessing this, by the fact that my response to this conversation, remains unanswered. 

    I have also sensed a type of a bullying type thing going on, for want of a better expression. Like people are trying to prove that what I’m saying is wrong, or something. Not in, as if we’re having a conversation, but as if they’re really trying to prove me wrong. Like they actually believe there is a right and a wrong, in a simple conversation. I think I’m just talking, and people are actually seeming to believe me or something. I don’t know what’s happening but I’m chatting and people seem to want to prove that I’m some kind of liar or something. I’ve no idea what’s going on to be honest. But it doesn’t feel great to me. And that’s enough to tell me to bow out, gracefully, and with love. 

    If this is what’s happening. I have no place in such conversations. My intention is never to get into a ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong’ situation. In my understanding of the world, there is no right or wrong, in terms of what we say and do. There is either truth or the lack of the awareness of truth. Or, what we believe. 

    Anyway, when anything like this is happening, however I respond, I am seen as defending my world view and what I’ve said. And even if it’s not seen like that. That’s how it’s starting to feel like to me. Like I’m defending what I’ve said. And defence, in any situation, is the first act of war. And I’m all about unconditional love and peace. Not war. So I won’t get involved in war. There’s no truth in war. 

    So I will make my exist, without nothing but love and understanding. Because if my words, hurt, even one person. Then that’s one person too many. And I can’t express myself in any other way, than the way I do, if I’m being myself and I’m being honest. If I’m working with somebody in a work situation or somebody like that. That’s different. But I come here to enjoy friendships and information, identification and validation etc etc etc. And if that’s not happening. It would do nobody any good if I tried to force that. Love doesn’t force itself. Love is. 

    It’s been really great talking to you, as always, from my point of view. I’ve enjoyed myself and as always, I’ve learned a lot. I’m only just over one year post diagnosis, so I’m still learning new things about myself and I’m enjoying the journey. 

    This year hasn’t quiet got started for me yet! Lol! For all my talk and intentions! But the meeting today at REED was very encouraging. I was totally blunt, I was in a hyper mode, so of course. What did I do all day? Eat and drink nothing, but cappuccinos! It was all I could do to not go into full on Tourette’s mode in a totally unacceptable way, by anybodies standards, when I was in the reed waiting area. Thank god there was a young lad there, helping to keep me calm. Or at least under control. 

    The building is not suited to my needs. There are many things ‘not to my needs’, with regards to reed. But somehow at the end of our session. She got me. And she’s moving mountains for me. 

    By that, I mean she got us a private room, again. And she offered me, without me asking or mentioning it, a referral back to autism plus. 

    This is the thing about some nt’s. They seem to understand what I need, in order to take the next step. Even when I don’t know what I need. And it’s never what I think I need. Anyway, her plan has to be authorised by her manager, but she’s going to do her best. 

    I really quite like her. Now I’m getting used to her. She talks to herself. And I haven’t managed to ask her yet if she knows she does it. I’m really starting to like her. I like anybody with a quirk and she keeps the visits short. Just how I like them. She never runs over half an hour, which feels like a nano second to me. Whatever that is! Lol! It’s fair to say though, that the time goes quick and doesn’t drag on past my level of concentration etc. 

    So hopefully, I’ll be able to come out of, out of this whole, I’m in this whole, Christmas mode thing, preparing to come out of it etc etc and get my ass into gear and start taking the next step. So my focus will be needed elsewhere for a while anyway. So like divine intervention, it’s a good time for me to exit the site as it is for you wanting me to leave because quiet frankly, in some way, shape or form, I appear to be p*****g you off. 

    Much love to all of you. I’m grateful to all of you. You have all added to my life in some way, as always. I hope you all find the answers you’re looking for or you get whatever it is you want. You deserve it. We all deserve a love filled life, by the very fact that we were born  X 

    Adios. 

  • Thanks Tom, I can’t believe it’s a reference to the bible! I’ve just recently finished reading the bible from front to back, for the first time ever, and now I’m going back and reading it slowly, bit by bit. I understand the story about Saul but I still can’t get my head around what the road to Damascus means, in one of those weird parable type ways or how it relates to this thread. Anyway, not to worry, thanks for link 

  • And I have no idea what the road to Damascus is. None whatsoever, so, I don’t understood any of that, so maybe I’m missing a crucial part of the plot, and I’ve got the wrong end of the stick altogether? 

    Here's a brief reference, BlueRay.  You can follow the links for further explanation:

    Road to Damascus/Damascene Conversion

  • It sounds like you feel annoyed maybe, about certain posts not meeting your need for order? 

    I hear what you’re saying, but have you heard that saying about one man’s rubbish is another man’s gold? Or something like that. What I’m trying to say, is what you might think of as ‘off topic’ or not adding anything to the conversation, might be right on topic, from where they’re sitting and they might think and they might actually be, adding a lot to the conversation. Just not in your eyes. 

    And as for all that business about hijacking threads, that just makes me feel like I’m in nt land, because I don’t know the etiquettes, if that’s what they’re called. I have no idea when talking on a thread would be considered something I ‘shouldn't’ do, according to these unspoken rules that I don’t know about. 

    All that kind of business, quite frankly, does shut me up lol! hallaylooya ~ we’ve found something to shut her up Laughing 

  • No, you didn't, not how I mean it to mean.

    It is posts that hi-jack another post with drivel.  Or, with nothing to say, have to go off and say things that are not remotely connected to the initial post just to put over a load of tosh.  Posts being made that contribute nothing to the conversation that have no logic, rhyme nor reason, and seem to be only to satisfy the ego of the poster.  It is not the off-topic nature of the posts but more the nature of the off topic post.

    If the person wanted to start a post of their own spouting their ideas, that would be acceptable.  But what happens is another, quite interesting, thread can be hijacked in such a way that the original purpose is lost and the thread then gets bogged down with the off-topic matter.

    I should have called the post 'pseudo Trolling' if I had thought of it sooner.  Perhaps I should just have started a post for people to spout rubbish, to release other posts from this burden.