'When did you first realise that you were 'different'?'

At about 5. I had started school and was not fitting in with other children. I saw a reflection of myself in a mirror during a PE lesson and noticed that my clothes were not like the other children's. Probably my family thought it was not worth getting me any uniform as we might be moving soon. But that seemed to underscore the sense of being 'different.'

nexus9 said:

PE lesson

Ouch!  What was that? Someone must have said one of the words that my brain won't let me hear!

The worst. I was the stereotypical wimpy geek; always picked last by the other boys to be in their team; always picked first by the teacher to be a "crash test dummy" to demonstrate rugby tackles on. I was always baffled by the logic that whoever was picked last always had to be goalie in football; so you want the most inept player on the pitch to take on the most unique position which is your final line of defence? Really? The one time I actually saved an attempt on goal, I was so flabbergasted that I stepped backwards over the goal line with the ball in my hands. My team mates were absolutely furious, but no-one had told me that there was more to it than just managing to catch the ball!

I did reasonably at some of the individual athletics, particularly sprinting, even though my physique is totally wrong for it (hmm, I wonder what kind of childhood experiences might lead to lots of practice at that!) But my situational awareness is too bad for team sports, and dyspraxia and poor proprioception make me useless at gymnastics (I couldn't even do a forward roll and come out of it facing the direction I started.) I didn't know any of that at the time, of course, but it seems obvious now with hindsight.

My proprioceptive/dyspraxic issues led to another stand-out childhood experience. I was a member of the Boys Brigade for a while; we weren't a religious family at all, and I knew already that I was agnostic, but a couple of my few good friends did it, as had my father when he was a lad. This meant having to do a lot of formation marching and parades. I had the drill instructor tearing his hair out; he simply could not teach me to march properly. I could follow the commands OK and could keep in step, but there was something wrong with the way that I held myself and moved that he could never explain to me. He would get other lads to demonstrate, and I would copy, feeling in my mind that I was doing exactly the same as what I'd just seen; but I never was. To be fair, the instructor was a lovely, very patient person; some of the other lads, less so!

It's only recently, with so many people having a video camera in their pocket, that I've had the opportunity to see how my posture and movements really look from the outside, and I have found that a very uncomfortable experience. It's not so much that I worry about other people's opinion, but the realisation that the image I have in my mind is so far removed from what my body is actually doing. My difficulties with PE and drill now make a lot more sense, though!

PE? Hated it.

...It would be interesting to start a "PE" Thread. For myself however, see my UserName most of all. I was picked last, and laughed at, and bullied, even by Teachers who could never quite give a logical excuse to exclude me. But I still liked PE and Team Sports, I was a good swimmer, athletic, long-legged (!), and I often trounced, dodged, and weaved my way to winning a lot... until at the end they said for no reason "...that doesn't count!" just as I say...

...But when it came to Parent's Days or "Open Days", I was often the first to be thought of and called to represent the entire School. Go figure...!

As a child two sports were pushed in our house.  Hockey and cricket.  My parents both played hockey competitively and cricket was the summer game for kids.

At school I had some skill for athletics, but I wasn't a thin child, my physique was tank level, so i excelled at rugby and any other activity that a kid who was heavy, could do to mangle a bunch of people while trying to grab a ball.  At the time I thought to myself what sport is my body suited to?  The answer was any sport where i could charge down a person and tackle them.  I did well at rugby (also a lot of the people who bullied me did it, so payback was rewarded on the field).  Eventually we moved to hockey, but i could already hold my own at that, having been given a stick aged 3 or 4.

i think my main embarassment came when having a shower and getting changed.  i never liked doing that in front of other people.  Also the school showers were either freezing cold or melt your skin off hot. 

I just used to try running with it all the way.  I never understood why the others were always shouting at me.

Or I'd charge at goal, thinking it a bit odd that the defenders weren't challenging me, having no idea that the ref had blown for offside yet again!

changing rooms

Eeek! The ribbing about my physique, sexual innuendos that went over my head, echoey tiled acoustics, and wet-towel whippings for having cost the other lads the game, were horrible experiences.  It still puts me off going swimming or joining yoga/pilates classes to this day. 

I just used to try running with it all the way.  I never understood why the others were always shouting at me.

Or I'd charge at goal, thinking it a bit odd that the defenders weren't challenging me, having no idea that the ref had blown for offside yet again!

changing rooms

Eeek! The ribbing about my physique, sexual innuendos that went over my head, echoey tiled acoustics, and wet-towel whippings for having cost the other lads the game, were horrible experiences.  It still puts me off going swimming or joining yoga/pilates classes to this day. 

As a child two sports were pushed in our house.  Hockey and cricket.  My parents both played hockey competitively and cricket was the summer game for kids.

At school I had some skill for athletics, but I wasn't a thin child, my physique was tank level, so i excelled at rugby and any other activity that a kid who was heavy, could do to mangle a bunch of people while trying to grab a ball.  At the time I thought to myself what sport is my body suited to?  The answer was any sport where i could charge down a person and tackle them.  I did well at rugby (also a lot of the people who bullied me did it, so payback was rewarded on the field).  Eventually we moved to hockey, but i could already hold my own at that, having been given a stick aged 3 or 4.

i think my main embarassment came when having a shower and getting changed.  i never liked doing that in front of other people.  Also the school showers were either freezing cold or melt your skin off hot.