Skip to main content
Close Button
Donate
  • Replies 31 replies
  • Subscribers 39 subscribers
  • Views 6156 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Couldn't sleep, so...

Deleted user
over 5 years ago
Personally speaking as an Aspie, one of the biggest issues I have to deal with is non-autistic people (neurotypicals) always seeming to think they know better than I do about my own condition and state of mind. So I'll get told things like "That's not autism. Everyone gets anxiety" - even though autistic anxiety starts at a point where most other people's has already peaked. Or "Everyone's a little bit autistic, of course." No, they're not - just as everyone's not 'a little bit pregnant.' And then there are the ones who'll say "You shouldn't refer to yourself as 'autistic', but rather as 'a person with autism'" - as if that makes it all seem not so bad after all! As if they'd also say to a gay person "You shouldn't think of yourself as a homosexual, but rather as 'a person with homosexuality.'"
 
The average life expectancy of an autistic person is 54. The main cause of early death is suicide. Aspies are 9 times more likely to die by suicide than the rest of the population. That's a pretty stark and daunting statistic. But when you've spent a lifetime being bullied, ridiculed, ignored, ostracised, dismissed and put down, is it any wonder that the idea of suicide can sometimes seem attractive? Dare I say it - 'comforting', even? That it can be reassuring to know that the option is there, if it all gets too much?
 
If neurotypicals want to do something to try to remedy this situation, they could start by accepting that they DON'T know better. They don't know any more what it's like to be autistic than a tortoise knows what it's like to be a dolphin. Maybe, instead, they could just try to be a little more understanding, empathetic and accepting.
 
And maybe they could pause for a moment before passing on another piece of their superior knowledge about autism and say to themselves, "Hang on a minute. Why don't I just SHUT THE **** UP, instead?"
[Edited by Moderator]
Parents
  • over 5 years ago

    Sleep!!!!

    I'm Just getting up after less than 5 hours sleep.  Thinking of going back to sleep.  But..  the nightmares are wearing me out.  So I'm tired from lack of sleep and tired from the nightmarish sleep.

    You being bullied.  I seem to remember you saying you're 6 feet 5.   I'm only 5 feet 7.  So bullying is an issue for me.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Robert124

    Height has never helped me.  In fact, they guy who finally put me in hospital at school was a good deal shorter than I was - which is why his upward punch to my cheekbone (which broke) almost took out my eye.

    Bullies come in all shapes and sizes.  And I'll be honest and say I haven't yet met one as tall as I am, or taller.

Reply
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Robert124

    Height has never helped me.  In fact, they guy who finally put me in hospital at school was a good deal shorter than I was - which is why his upward punch to my cheekbone (which broke) almost took out my eye.

    Bullies come in all shapes and sizes.  And I'll be honest and say I haven't yet met one as tall as I am, or taller.

Children
  • over 5 years ago in reply to Robert124
    Robert124 said:
    The two women bullies were built like a tank and I could picture them at home running a women's borstal.

    Actually, you might find that at home they're bullied themselves.  I worked with a female bully, also built like a tank... and she was married to the bully I spoke about who I reported.  Everyone knew he cheated on her a lot.  And knowing how he was, he probably gave her a very hard time.  I remember seeing her with a black eye once.  She said she got drunk and fell over.  I often wondered.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    In my last place of work I was in regular contact with three bullies.  All three were well built and could probably flatten me with a single punch.

    The man had an athletic build and bullied other people more than me.  The most he did to me was shout at me when I didn't do the right thing or took too long over certain tasks.  Others, and this includes both staff and clients were visibly scared of him.

    The two women bullies were built like a tank and I could picture them at home running a women's borstal.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    You may be too young to remember it, but there was a TV series in the '70s called 'Kung Fu'.  The hero was a quiet, unassuming Shaolin monk who was trained in the true spiritual philosophy of martial arts - using his skills defensively rather than offensively.  I always loved it when some bully or other attacked him, and he simply fended them off - often, as in Tai Chi, using their own strength and force against them.  All three seasons - 62 episodes - are available on YouTube.  Here's a taster...

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Whats-His-Face

    Or maybe you're just more intelligent than to resort to violence and abuse.  There are other ways.  One of the worst bullies I ever worked with - not towards me, but towards the learning disabilities people in his 'care' - was suspended after I and some others blew the whistle on his activities.

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    I always imagine getting my own back on bullies but never act as I’m a wuss lol

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Robert124

    Nope.  Tall... but skinny.  And I don't think I give off much of a 'don't mess with me' vibe.  I get a lot of wish fulfillment from films like 'A History of Violence' or 'The Equalizer', where the quiet, unassuming, wimpy-seeming types suddenly take on all-comers and win Slight smile

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Robert124

    That means nothing lol I’m 6 ft broad shoulder big chested and quite big arms and yet I’ve been bullied all my life up until now at the age of 31. No matter ur size if u feel like a victim bullies can sense it and that’s what u’ll b. 

  • over 5 years ago in reply to Deleted user

    My apologies.  I have this mental image of you as a broad shouldered well built person.  Who bullies would think twice about tackling with.

    I am a physical wimp.