These are not all original t o me but here goes ....
In the supermarket they sell bottles of liquid labelled "Still water". At what stage will it cease to still be water.
And talking of water, one brand says it has percolated and been filtered through rock for thousands oof years before being bottled. Good job they bottled it when they did as its best before date is only in a months time.
What does an occasional table become when it is not a table.
Who did the first person who bought a telephone want to ring?
Where did the first person who bought a car buy petrol from? Or who did the first filling station sell petrol to?
How many people died eating poisonous mushrooms and berries before they knew which ones were ok to eat?
There are many more, so what are other contributors favourites?
It says, fresh fruit from South Africa, I’m in Hampshire. ?
Tick this box, it’s not a box it’s a square.
Organic honey, what’s inorganic honey?
How can you wash something whiter than white?
Have the correct change ready. They’re supposed to give me the change.
‘Just like mom made.’ I don’t know their mom.
Go to work on an egg. ?
The future is orange. ?
Let’s go out for a romantic dinner = you’re paying.
‘Don’t disappear when we get there.’ Is there a wormhole there?
‘I really like these shoes - but they’re killing me.’ ?
‘Her hair came out of a bottle’ Hair doesn’t come in bottles.
‘You’ve shrunk my favourite top.’ No I didn’t, the washing machine did.
‘Why is there a chainsaw on the kitchen table?’ Obviously because I’m servicing it.
I always thought 'The future's bright, the future's Orange' was some kind of propaganda campaign by a militant Irish loyalist organisation.
Famously at the time of the Anglo-Irish agreement there was a big mural or graffito saying "Ulster Says NO".
Under that someone referring to advertising of that time had sprayed "But the Man from Del Monte Says YES."
Silly enough. Then someone added "And he's an Orange Man",