Loneliness

For me, loneliness varies widely.

I can be totally alone at home all day.  Not speaking to anyone.  Yet not feel lonely.

At other times I'm surrounded by people, all communicating, but I feel completely alone and very very lonely.

School was a loneliness nightmare.  Children all around me.  But I was totally alone year after year 

Yesterday I felt almost ok.  Heard a sad song on the radio and suddenly the loneliness hit me.

Parents
  • Glad Tidings to Mr. Math-Photographer...
    Because it is your good self, I shall Post some things here, and see how they are received.

    Positive Aspects to Feeling Lonely (Some of my own):

    - I am on my own, and do not have to worry about malicious people taking pictures or throwing things at me.
    - I can listen to cheery and rousing Music (on Headphones), and maybe dance around to it, & No-one gets in my way.
    - I can sing out-of-tune, or practise my Foreign Languages out loud... & No-one can tell me off for making mistakes, thus I can improve my skills in peace.
    - I sit upon the front-right of the Upper Deck of a Bus when travelling, and when another Bus with the same number passes in the opposite direction, I can wave and pretend that that other Driver is waving at me.
    - I can watch endless repeats of Top Gear, The A-Team, Pokemon, and My Little Pony... without worrying that someone else is coming in to tell me off for this or for changing channels during the advert-breaks.
    - I can splash into puddles (clean, of course) and take pictures of Rainbows or of Sunsets, without worrying over other people thinking that I am splashing them or taking pictures of them instead.

    ...Hopefully anyone reading gets what I am saying, here? ...<> I do not "live in my own world", yet it is grand to consider oneself outwards, every now and then. I could put more, but this is long enough already. Fair Play to Anyone reading...

  • Positive Aspects to Feeling Lonely (Some of my own):

    - I am on my own, and do not have to worry about malicious people taking pictures or throwing things at me.
    - I can listen to cheery and rousing Music (on Headphones), and maybe dance around to it, & No-one gets in my way.
    - I can sing out-of-tune, or practise my Foreign Languages out loud... & No-one can tell me off for making mistakes, thus I can improve my skills in peace.
    - I sit upon the front-right of the Upper Deck of a Bus when travelling, and when another Bus with the same number passes in the opposite direction, I can wave and pretend that that other Driver is waving at me.
    - I can watch endless repeats of Top Gear, The A-Team, Pokemon, and My Little Pony... without worrying that someone else is coming in to tell me off for this or for changing channels during the advert-breaks.
    - I can splash into puddles (clean, of course) and take pictures of Rainbows or of Sunsets, without worrying over other people thinking that I am splashing them or taking pictures of them instead.

    ...Hopefully anyone reading gets what I am saying, here? ...<> I do not "live in my own world", yet it is grand to consider oneself outwards, every now and then. I could put more, but this is long enough already. Fair Play to Anyone reading...

    Are you sure you don't mean 'Positive Aspects of Being Alone', Disallowed Cynosure?  I can identify with just about all of this (though I'd draw the line at 'Top Gear!).  I can also read without interruption, get drunk without someone saying 'Haven't you had enough?', walk around indoors stark naked or in women's clothing, swear to my heart's content, sit doing precisely what I want to do for hours and hours, ignore the phone, ignore the doorbell, etc...

    But when I'm feeling lonely... that's different.  It doesn't happen often, but it happens.  And then nothing can really substitute for having someone else there to talk to, to hold, to feel loved by.

Reply
  • Positive Aspects to Feeling Lonely (Some of my own):

    - I am on my own, and do not have to worry about malicious people taking pictures or throwing things at me.
    - I can listen to cheery and rousing Music (on Headphones), and maybe dance around to it, & No-one gets in my way.
    - I can sing out-of-tune, or practise my Foreign Languages out loud... & No-one can tell me off for making mistakes, thus I can improve my skills in peace.
    - I sit upon the front-right of the Upper Deck of a Bus when travelling, and when another Bus with the same number passes in the opposite direction, I can wave and pretend that that other Driver is waving at me.
    - I can watch endless repeats of Top Gear, The A-Team, Pokemon, and My Little Pony... without worrying that someone else is coming in to tell me off for this or for changing channels during the advert-breaks.
    - I can splash into puddles (clean, of course) and take pictures of Rainbows or of Sunsets, without worrying over other people thinking that I am splashing them or taking pictures of them instead.

    ...Hopefully anyone reading gets what I am saying, here? ...<> I do not "live in my own world", yet it is grand to consider oneself outwards, every now and then. I could put more, but this is long enough already. Fair Play to Anyone reading...

    Are you sure you don't mean 'Positive Aspects of Being Alone', Disallowed Cynosure?  I can identify with just about all of this (though I'd draw the line at 'Top Gear!).  I can also read without interruption, get drunk without someone saying 'Haven't you had enough?', walk around indoors stark naked or in women's clothing, swear to my heart's content, sit doing precisely what I want to do for hours and hours, ignore the phone, ignore the doorbell, etc...

    But when I'm feeling lonely... that's different.  It doesn't happen often, but it happens.  And then nothing can really substitute for having someone else there to talk to, to hold, to feel loved by.

Children
  • No, no problem at all! I didn't mind! I was more interested in sharing the part where it seems like the radio knows how to mess with our heads, lol!

  • Sorry, CM.  I've rectified that.  My mistake.  Sorry.

  • I didn't post that. I do completely empathise with your sentiment in the last sentence and another in one of your last posts. I miss having someone to hold at the end of the day and fall asleep next to. Only found two people I could ever do that with. You can have sex with people but sleeping with someone is far deeper.  As for songs that hit me and remind me of them there's a few. The first verse of Suzanne by Leonard Cohen sums up a lot of feelings simply about one. One line in particular "and you know that she's half crazy, but that's why you want to be there". I could name a few other songs but that one came on the radio the other day just like your experience with Annie Lennox. I was pretty sad for a few hours.