Verbal communication and actions are over rated.
For example, for the past 12 months while I’ve been in burnout, I haven’t heard from hardly any of my friends and barely any of my family, and I’ve got a lot of friends and family, so this isn’t usual.
This has been a true god send to me. Most of them don’t even know yet that I’m autistic and they certainly don’t know I’ve been in a burnout, they have no idea.
However, since I’ve started to feel better, I’ve had a steady but manageable (so far) stream of friends contacting me. Inviting me out for lunch, to go for a walk, to go nordic walking, cycling, one friend who knows I would love to go to Marrakesh has paid for and booked a holiday there for us in June, the same friend has also booked a hotel for us next week so we can go to listen to her favourite band who are coming over from America. None of her friends like the band so they won’t go but she knows I’d go to the end of the world for her if needs be so although I don’t like going to listen to bands, I’m happy to go with her because I know how important it is to her and she’s insisted that she pay for that as well. We might not see each other or have any kind of contact for months and months on end but she knows she can rely on me to the degree that if i’m able to help or be there for her in any way, I will be. She doesn’t have the same level of confidence in the friends she hangs out with all the time.
I have other invites coming in as well, as well as friends popping up to simply say hi, how are you. I don’t keep in regular verbal or physical contact with my friends or family but we are in touch constantly by something much stronger than our words and actions. They didn’t know that I need their friendships right now, that their friendships are what will help me on my next leg of the journey. I’ve decided to go back to India and Bali and some other countries so I’m going to be away for a while this time, maybe a few years, maybe forever, who knows, so it’s great that I get to see some of my friends before I go. And no matter where I am in the world, at least one of my family or friends (who are my family) will come and visit me. They have been to Australia, Bali, India, the Isle of Man, all the places I’ve lived in the UK, wherever I go or wherever I am my friends keep in touch with me some how. I’ve even had letters and cards arrive at remote ashrams I’ve been at in India ~ I wouldn’t even know you could do that!
I don’t keep in touch with them so much but they never let me out of their hearts and visa versa. They all encourage and support me no matter what I do. My dad is currently encouraging me to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, another friend bought me the book with the route etc and I just know that whether I want them to or not, at least one of them will come and see me while I’m walking the trail and either walk a bit of the trail with me or for me to have a little stop off with them. I know when my sister is hurt and in which part of her body and visa versa and she’s the least ‘spiritual’ person you could ever come across.
This is a few days later now and I have to admit that the messages from friends and family is starting to become a little overwhelming for me now. I’ll handle it. But what I’m saying is, if I had to rely on verbal communication, I don’t think I’d have any friends at all, but I speak to them in my language. They don’t use this language with other people and they have no idea really how it works with me but it does and I’m overflowing with gratitude at the love and friendship that’s pouring my way now, now that I’m ready to receive it.
Verbal communication hurts my head, sign language is a bit better but I much prefer to communicate in a non verbal, none sign language way. That way I don’t have to get past all your understandings and you beyond mine before we reach some level of mutual understanding.
This is why I love silent retreats and the level of friendships you form there go way deeper than the ones you make when you are verbally communicating or communicating through body language.
I love it when I go mute but that doesn’t happen very often so I have to accept that I was given the ability to speak for some reason. I have surrendered to this now so now I will be guided in whatever way I need to be and if it means using my voice, so be it. I don’t hate it like I used to. I accept I can speak and now I’m not fighting it I guess I’ll soon find out why I can. I still find verbal/body language to be a very crude and harsh form of communication though.
I didn’t miss an appointment while my job coach was on a cruise. It was the appointment she made before she went on the cruise, for when she got back.
I’m not lucky and I don’t walk an exalted path and I know all about sanctions - I’ve heard people on here talk about them and I’ve heard people at my autism group talk about them, including the lady who was without money for months. My job coach even put a thing on my universal credit page about sanctions which I didn’t read, it freaked me out, why did she put it on there??? I just asked my support worker if there was anything in the message or whatever it was, that I needed to read, other than if you don’t follow our rules etc they will stop giving me money, which to me, goes without saying anyway, and she said no, you don’t have to read it, don’t worry about it, so I didn’t.
I tend to avoid reading about things I don’t want, I find they can sometimes get in the way of getting what I do want. Sometimes it’s the slightest thing that can make the difference between getting what you want in life and getting what you don’t want and reading about stuff like sanctions, doesn’t fill me with joy so why would I read it? I’m choosy about what I read, what I fill my mind with. It’s not applicable to me anyway, because as I have said before, I don’t work by following man made laws, they mean nothing to me, I work with universal/natural laws. Man made laws have never interested me, I don’t acknowledge them so therefore they don’t apply to me. I never have and never will, even as far back as being a little kid.
I’m not lucky, I simply know how the law of cause and effect works. I know how precisely and how accurately this world works and I live in accordance with those laws. As I said before, I never learned them from Jesus or anybody else but Jesus shows the clearest description of how the laws of the universe work. I get whatever I want whenever I want, without fail, everytime because I know the laws. Like an electrician, he is less likely to get a shock or be electrocuted when fiddling with electricity, than I am because he knows and understands the laws of electricity, I don’t, so it’s unlikely I would get that law to work for me, but an electrician could do it easily.
I got what I wanted, even before I consciously understood the laws in a way that I could explain them to others. To me, this is how the world works, I was born knowing it, I thought everyone was although admittedly, my brother and sister didn’t get it to work for them as well as I did and my sister still goes on about it today, about as a kid I somehow always managed to get whatever I wanted and her and my brother didn’t!
There’s no magic, no miracles, no luck, just pure scientific un breakable precise and exact laws at play. If you live in accordance with them, you get whatever you want, everytime, nothing is too big and nothing too small.
Actually, I think some people have a really sh*t time of it in this life, absolutely horrific and painfully hard; and I don’t think it is appropriate to suggest (directly or infer) that the cause of their hardship is simply their own fault because they are not abiding to some ‘universal laws.’
Which has slap banged directly into a real 'pet fume' I have of ‘spiritualism’ and ‘religion’ only in the respect that some people (please note my use of the word some…) claim (and use this claim to manipulate or dismiss other people,) that they personally have access to ‘superior’ or ‘magic’ powers that us ‘ordinary folk’ are not privy to.
Martian Tom said:Only around 7% of total communication is verbal, so it's hardly surprising that we miss out on so much!
Sometimes I think I don't miss out often enough.
And because of course you’re god so if you deem something to be inappropriate then the rest of us have to abide by your rule.
Why should you get angry just because somebody thinks they have access to magic powers? Maybe they do? Maybe they don’t but why get angry at them? And what makes you think your ordinary?
I don't think I mind if someone thinks they have magical powers but I do get distressed if they try to manipulate or dismiss other people simply because they (the other people) don't have those 'magical powers' or 'superior knowledge' too.
And, I think this is maybe how some of what you have written may have came across- that you perhaps seemed unfeeling or dismissive towards other peoples suffering, such as the homeless, for example.
However, I really don't want you to go (you said you were not going to post on here anymore in one of your other replies today, I think?)
I don't think you need to go, we all rub each other up the wrong way on here from time to time, sometimes we can all (each of us) be an ass, and other times we genuinely misinterpret, and sometimes we outright don't agree with one another on here, but these are no reason to go.
I am as ordinary as they come, borderline pathologically boring and mundane. Its just who I am.
No. What's nonsense is that you 'see no difference', and seem to be using it as some kind of generalisation to say 'there is no difference'. I'm not talking about what I believe, but about the people who've spent all day - in the city where I work - sitting out on the pavement in the cold and rain, and who would probably give anything just to sit on an old wooden crate, let alone a settee. Try going up to one of them and saying 'I simply see no difference to sitting on a street and sitting on a settee in a house' and see what kind of a reception you get. One homeless man in that city died last week from exposure to the cold. I wonder if he thought his place was no different to being indoors on a nice warm, comfy settee. I'm also talking about the people who are literally terrified of being ten minutes late for an appointment at the Job Centre, in case they lose their benefits as a result. People who don't just take such things in their stride, firm in their belief in magic, but who worry about being in debt, being homeless, being unable to feed their children, etc.
'And if I'm sitting down, I'm sitting down, no matter what I'm sitting on'. Well, yes - ipso facto. But there's a world of difference - maybe not to you, but to many others - to sitting on a cold, wet pavement and sitting on a settee in a warm house. Your reasoning here is a bit like saying 'If I'm eating, I'm eating, no matter what I'm eating'... whether it's chocolate, or cake, or a piece of stale bread chucked out for the birds, or a bar of soap.
Your thoughts are precisely that: your thoughts. Don't try using them as a way of saying 'Everyone should feel this way.' And before you say 'I don't', perhaps you should think a little more about the way you speak. 'Poverty doesn't exist'. 'Ill-health doesn't exist'. It's not presented as a subjective view, but as if it's some kind of universal truth.... and those of us who don't accept it as such are somehow merely susceptible to 'faulty thinking.'
I'm going to have to try missing out on a bit more...
It's also disgusting to lead possibly vulnerable people to believe that if they only 'believed' then they too could get away with flouting the laws and rules that they need to adhere to just to obtain the money they need to survive. It's difficult enough for people to navigate the benefits system and to survive on the money it pays them without misleading 'claims' like this.
I can't believe NAS allow this kind of crud to be posted.
Hell, I actually feel jealous, and that takes a lot of doing! :D