Verbal/body language communication is over rated

Verbal communication and actions are over rated.

For example, for the past 12 months while I’ve been in burnout, I haven’t heard from hardly any of my friends and barely any of my family, and I’ve got a lot of friends and family, so this isn’t usual.

This has been a true god send to me. Most of them don’t even know yet that I’m autistic and they certainly don’t know I’ve been in a burnout, they have no idea.

However, since I’ve started to feel better, I’ve had a steady but manageable (so far) stream of friends contacting me. Inviting me out for lunch, to go for a walk, to go nordic walking, cycling, one friend who knows I would love to go to Marrakesh has paid for and booked a holiday there for us in June, the same friend has also booked a hotel for us next week so we can go to listen to her favourite band who are coming over from America. None of her friends like the band so they won’t go but she knows I’d go to the end of the world for her if needs be so although I don’t like going to listen to bands, I’m happy to go with her because I know how important it is to her and she’s insisted that she pay for that as well. We might not see each other or have any kind of contact for months and months on end but she knows she can rely on me to the degree that if i’m able to help or be there for her in any way, I will be. She doesn’t have the same level of confidence in the friends she hangs out with all the time.

I have other invites coming in as well, as well as friends popping up to simply say hi, how are you. I don’t keep in regular verbal or physical contact with my friends or family but we are in touch constantly by something much stronger than our words and actions. They didn’t know that I need their friendships right now, that their friendships are what will help me on my next leg of the journey. I’ve decided to go back to India and Bali and some other countries so I’m going to be away for a while this time, maybe a few years, maybe forever, who knows, so it’s great that I get to see some of my friends before I go. And no matter where I am in the world, at least one of my family or friends (who are my family) will come and visit me. They have been to Australia, Bali, India, the Isle of Man, all the places I’ve lived in the UK, wherever I go or wherever I am my friends keep in touch with me some how. I’ve even had letters and cards arrive at remote ashrams I’ve been at in India ~ I wouldn’t even know you could do that!

I don’t keep in touch with them so much but they never let me out of their hearts and visa versa. They all encourage and support me no matter what I do. My dad is currently encouraging me to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, another friend bought me the book with the route etc and I just know that whether I want them to or not, at least one of them will come and see me while I’m walking the trail and either walk a bit of the trail with me or for me to have a little stop off with them. I know when my sister is hurt and in which part of her body and visa versa and she’s the least ‘spiritual’ person you could ever come across.

This is a few days later now and I have to admit that the messages from friends and family is starting to become a little overwhelming for me now. I’ll handle it. But what I’m saying is, if I had to rely on verbal communication, I don’t think I’d have any friends at all, but I speak to them in my language. They don’t use this language with other people and they have no idea really how it works with me but it does and I’m overflowing with gratitude at the love and friendship that’s pouring my way now, now that I’m ready to receive it.

Verbal communication hurts my head, sign language is a bit better but I much prefer to communicate in a non verbal, none sign language way. That way I don’t have to get past all your understandings and you beyond mine before we reach some level of mutual understanding.

This is why I love silent retreats and the level of friendships you form there go way deeper than the ones you make when you are verbally communicating or communicating through body language.

I love it when I go mute but that doesn’t happen very often so I have to accept that I was given the ability to speak for some reason. I have surrendered to this now so now I will be guided in whatever way I need to be and if it means using my voice, so be it. I don’t hate it like I used to. I accept I can speak and now I’m not fighting it I guess I’ll soon find out why I can. I still find verbal/body language to be a very crude and harsh form of communication though. 

  • Yeah, I learned some huge lessons, not least dissolving the habit of running away. 

    It’s been like a baptism of fire ~ I think! Lol! I don’t really understand what that means but it feels right although I could be totally wrong. 

    Thanks for the info on the types. I can talk to all types but sometimes I just want to talk as me. I don’t expect anybody to understand me and neither do I particularly want to but it was fun while it lasted, talking my language. 

  • I never went to hostels. I didn’t feel safe in them, I felt safer on the streets. 


  • Also spent time homeless 

    and

    and in a hostel for the homeless

    I never did the hostel thing myself as I was too unsettled. Staying in one place did not really happen until I found my footing, which is to say where I felt most grounded, and got on the emergency housing list. Then I found a place advertised the next day in a paper ~ and the landlord turned out to be someone I used to know. He did not recognise me at first, but it was well amusing when he did, because he was really pleased and surprised ~ and memoirs and laughter aplenty did flow. He was a genius chess player type, and I had a mega bonus playing chess with him on a regular basis.

    One thing I did have trouble with was that I was so used to sleeping on hard floors; that it took me a year and half's practice before I could sleep on a soft bed again.

    Did you find the hostel thing to be okay?



  • The description of laws is accurate. However, the natural universal laws and the commandments that Jesus spoke of are irrefutable, they are like the laws of electricity, they are exact and precise. Jesus was wholly against anybody making oaths to anybody, ever. He said to do so, you cut off your connection to your true nature. 

    The natural universal 'principles' as 'consolidations' Jesus spoke about for your father in the heavens that a 'covenant' (or agreement) be formed with God in principle, with the first being to honour/respect the wife of him and the Mother of you ~ by aspiring to firstly love the spirit of you in the heart of you, in the soul of you and in the mind of you. This is the greatest of the consolidations. And the second greatest likewise is ~ aspire to love the neighbour of you as doing so the self of you. For on the embodiment of these dual consolidations ~ all of the teaching suspends and the prophets.

    Oaths yes are not too be made, wrong word session on my part there. Jesus was not though against people making covenants/agreements or consolidations/pledges/compacts/contracts/promises, but if one's promises are made in respect of god and humans ~ breaking those 'covenants' was not advisable. Consider for instance that Jesus said: "Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's." Matthew 22:21. Or in other words pay dues to the Father of you in the heavens and to the Mother of you embodying the society of you upon the earth.

    Keeping covenants strengthens the connection to the true nature of one as a human of earth (in terms of flesh) and a being of heaven (in terms of spirit) as living in harmony.


    This universe could not continue if it was not run by laws. They are what makes a tulip seed into a tulip. They are the laws of cause and effect. This was the bulk of Einstein’s work, little of which was ever published. 

    Recalling that 'Law is a system of rules that are created and enforced through social or governmental institutions to regulate behaviour. Law is a system that regulates and ensures that individuals or a community adhere to the will of the state.' - thus it is in stating that 'This universe could not continue if it was not run by laws.' you have done the absolute classic that involves societal governance running the universe. :-)

    Of course humans have not been been around long enough for laws to have had anything to do with running the universe, and if they did the universe would not exist as there would be nothing to enable no one to discover nothing and to not state that nothing ran nothing! ;-)  

    What makes a seed into a tulip is the principles of nature, e.g. energetic field frequencies and the geometric integrities of the atoms and molecules involved ~ which in terms of being 'recorded' systematic processes and only 'systematically recorded processes' we describe these as laws. Laws then are the descriptions of natural processes but laws are not the natural processes themselves. So basically the proofs of existential processes do not govern existence.

    Yes?


    As for man made laws, I have never and will never recognise them as little more than guidelines for people who don’t think for themselves, they have no meaning for me.

    Aside from laws all being (hu)man(ly) made, mistaking laws or theories for principles is commonly and easily done, and you do recognise the laws of man ~ or you would not be using them to validate your statements, such as with Einstein's stuff for instance. 


    I live by universal laws and because of that, I always get whatever I want in life, whenever I want it and man made laws have never got in my way. 

    I live by or more concisely in universal love and wisdom myself, working with needs rather than so much wants, and being that the laws of society are to protect basic rights and freedoms, and to treat everyone fairly ~ they have not as such gotten in the way of me either, as they have been really helpful in numerous ways.


  • The description of laws is accurate. However, the natural universal laws and the commandments that Jesus spoke of are irrefutable, they are like the laws of electricity, they are exact and precise. Jesus was wholly against anybody making oaths to anybody, ever. He said to do so, you cut off your connection to your true nature. 

    This universe could not continue if it was not run by laws. They are what makes a tulip seed into a tulip. They are the laws of cause and effect. This was the bulk of Einstein’s work, little of which was ever published. 

    As for man made laws, I have never and will never recognise them as little more than guidelines for people who don’t think for themselves, they have no meaning for me. I live by universal laws and because of that, I always get whatever I want in life, whenever I want it and man made laws have never got in my way. 


  • I’m talking about the laws of relativity. That was only a fraction of his work and what he studied. 

    I only really read a few of Einstein's theories as it goes ~ the relativity and a unified field stuff, at school in physics, and bits and pieces over the years regarding science in general. I was more influenced by Tesla towards the quantum super-positioning, correlation and entanglement related stuff via Bohr, Planck and Schrodinger etcetera ~ what with standard model of physics not quite accounting for what has been found to be going on, and all that involving String and Holofield Theory.


    Yes, the universe works on principles but the principles work through the law. There has to be a law and that law is universal, not only to mankind but to the whole of the universe which man is not separate from, so it applies to man but not only to man. 

    Not quite again, being that by definition: 'A law is a rule of action that is established by an authority ~ after the constant order of a particular phenomena has been observed or experimented with in nature.' in the scientific context according to the Chambers Dictionary I think it was.

    Also from the sociological context according to Wikipedia on: 'Law is a system of rules that are created and enforced through social or governmental institutions to regulate behavior. Law is a system that regulates and ensures that individuals or a community adhere to the will of the state.'

    The running theme obviously is that laws are for governing people in their actions or behaviour. 

    But extending or projecting the notion that laws govern nature is a Roman Masoretic inheritance (not excluding others) involving the miss-transliteration of the five 'Consolidations' (as being pledges or oaths) mentioned by Jesus ~ to become the ten 'commandments' of the Masoretes (formally the Pharisees) rather than so much Moses or Jesus themselves actually therefore.

    The Pharisees were really keen on editing out the Feminine from the sacred scrolls, and switching the spiritual for the material and thus the law of man replaced the 'teaching' or 'wisdom' of the wise Goddess about the loving God ~ for the sake of a wrathful god of jealousy and adoration greed.

    Essentially in stating that law or laws are universal, you have as the expression goes "Put the Descartes (or the cart) before the horse" ~ as Descartes was infamous for mistaking his black for his white and thinking that because he thought he as such existed, rather than he existed and thereby thought ~ what with objects coming before subjects (in order to be named and identified) and nature (reproduction) coming before nurture (upbringing) and so fourth.

    So the principles of nature give rise to the laws of (hu)man(ity) in concrete objective terms.  


     

  • and in a hostel for the homeless

  • Also spent time homeless 

  • I’m not talking about the laws of relativity. That was only a fraction of his work and what he studied. 

    Yes, the universe works on principles but the principles work through the law. There has to be a law and that law is universal, not only to mankind but to the whole of the universe which man is not separate from, so it applies to man but not only to man. 


  • Einstein understood the laws but they are not his.

    Not quite ~ the laws of (hu)man(ity) come from the 'principle' objects and states of affairs observed and experimented with repeatedly through nature, so Einstein's laws (such as Relativity and Special Relativity) are his as he published on them. There are no laws of nature though, only principles.

    So there are the principles of nature, and the laws of (hu)man(ity).



  • I know the decision to leave the group was initially due to my autistic black and white thinking, but I also don’t feel as comfortable on here any more.

    Well after what happened, I am in no way surprised at the moment that you do not feel comfortable talking as freely as you have before, very few people do when it comes to being treated disrespectfully regarding their individual outlook on life.

    Such discomfort is meant 'not' in order to test us, but in order to 'rouse' us from our Autistic benightedness (or ignorance) about how to communicate in more socially amenable ways.

    It helps to keep secure in mind that there are Conscious, Psychical, Mental and Physical languages and terms for relating with others, who are likewise familiar, or wish to learn. Thus there are four types of people who relate with these languages and terms, down to those who just use the Physical language base:

    Type Fours (or T4s) have a developed sense of all experiential ranges of awareness, and use all language bases ~ so are Conscious, Psychical, Mental and Physical. T4s are by proportion enlightened Facilitators, and are the lesser minority of the population, at way less than 1%.

    Type Threes (or T3s) have Conscious, Psychical, Mental and Physical awareness, and develop their Conscious range of experience for the more evolved, or else are more evolving their Psychical. Mental and Physical sensibilities. T3s are by proportion intuitional Leaders, and are the greater minority of the human population, at 9% approximately. 

    Type Twos are (or T2s) have Conscious, Psychical, Mental and Physical awareness, and develop their Psychical range of experience, for the more evolved, or else are more evolving their Mental and Physical sensibilities. T2s are more by proportion conceptual Supporters, and are the lesser majority of the human population, at around 30% approximately.

    Type Ones (or T1s) have Conscious, Psychical, Mental and Physical awareness, and develop their Mental range of experience, for the more evolved, or else are evolving more their Physical sensibilities. T1s are more by proportion instinctual Followers, and are the greater majority of the human population, at around 60% approximately.

    So what you do know and can do (as a T3 to become a T4) is not possible for all (particularly T1s and T2s), and what you consider to be an adaptable state of mind (such as the previously mentioned poverty thing) is for most also an immutable state of actual body and environment ~ that is very concretely and very objectively real for them. Nothing they do can ever change that, T1s live and breath physical and material poverty as is their path through evolution ~ whether rich or poor, for they are the youngest of the 'Children of Humanity', and need providing for as Followers ~  hence T2s are Supporters, T3s are Leaders and T4s are Facilitators.

    [Autism involves being at least a T3, although T3s can be more like T2s or T1s ~ consistently, or intermitently]

    So when you stated that you get what you want to survive, it is lucky that what you want is actually what you 'need' in evolutional terms, and as such you are in harmony with the facilitational frequency of your life course ~ as has just included here a sociological clanger! I have had quite a few myself just like yours here ;-) and they are good to learn from, really they are, especially with others who can relate :-)

    Learn from not run from maybe?


  • I wouldn’t dare, I’ve already been accused of being a witch who has magic powers and who thinks that all the people who aren’t witches are rubbish. I wouldn’t dare talk about them on here. I already feel as if I’ve been burned at the stake, hung drawn and quartered. I no longer feel safe. I built up a good level of trust and support on this site, over time,  enough to make me feel safe, only to be torn down big time so I won’t try that again. I just wrote a post about how I think, all be it very basic, but that might explain what you’re asking, in a little way, so I’ll post that. 

    They’re not ‘Einstein’s’ laws though, anymore than the law of electricity belongs to the person who first discovered it. That person may have discovered it, but the laws of electricity are universal. Electricity is there for any one of us to take advantage of if we learn how it works, or get someone else to learn it and share the benefits with us, such as light, heat, power etc. We still get those things, even though we don’t know how they work, we still enjoy the benefits of the law of electricity even though we don’t understand every fine detail of them. Einstein understood the laws but they are not his. 

  • I think it’s probably permanently Deepthought. I know the decision to leave the group was initially due to my autistic black and white thinking, but I also don’t feel as comfortable on here any more. If I can’t talk freely, what is the point of talking, is my way of thinking? 


  • I was deliberately using that absolutist construction, Deepthought. 

    I noticed, I have been following the patterns of development prior to and via your thread on Realism and Nominalism, to the full crystallisation of the Absolutism here, and thus my intervention with the Relationalism.


    But you're quite right, and I would normally have written something less severe.

    The basic problem was Black and White thinking, and as such using the Null Hypothesis, where Black registers as nothing or experientially negative and therefore being nonsense and disagreeable, and white registers as something or experientially positive and therefore is sensible and agreeable.

    Consider for instance that Alice looks at Object A and describes a Square, and Bob looks at Object A also but describes a Rectangle. Object A is an Oblong ~ who then out of Alice and Bob is correct in terms of which shape they saw?

    Two answers are that Alice is correct in describing a Rectangle on the grounds of who needs anything less? And Bob is correct in describing a Square on the grounds of who needs anything more?

    So in terms of normally writing something less severe:


    More along the lines of 'I believe this to be nonsense.'

    At this stage the same message is being repeated as before ~ with the 'spearhead' of your statement still being the word 'nonsense'. Stating that something "more along the lines of" is actually more severe in linguistic spearheading terms.

    Coming to terms with this interpretive glitch was very healthy indeed though ~ in the sense of noticing it as not being the healthier option. Another consideration for instance is "This is not making sense to me", yet you clocked it very well indeed as:


    More like 'I don't believe this to be true for everyone.' 

    Seriously Tom, absolute linguistic gold, seriously.

    In terms of the "I believe this to be nonsense." as involves the darkest or most malevolent (ill-wishing) self of us; from which we learn what not to do, and in terms of "I don't believe this to be true for everyone." as involves the lightest or most benevolent (well-wishing) self of us, from which we learn what to do.

    Thus as such you considered the 'nonsense' of the negative self, then the 'sense' of the positive self, and as such weighed up and balanced out as the neutral self.

    Ker-ching!


    I think indignation made me slip a little, too.

    Well with your little slip of indignation with us, the Child-Parent dichotomy problem became a well and balanced Adult solution.


  • Perhaps you could start a post telling us about the Universal Laws of Einstein, so we can understand them too?

    Relaxed

  • Thank you Tom. I’ve calmed down now and I know that the way I speak can provoke strong reactions in people, I just didn’t expect to receive the comments I did, but I’ve calmed down now. 

    What I talk about are universal truths, proved scientifically by people like Einstein. What the public know about Einstein is very little compared to the work he was involved in which was learning more about the universal laws. 

    I’m not saying people are settled and happy to be on the streets, although many are, for certain periods of time anyway while that is the best thing for them.  If I had been settled with it I’d still be there now, but complaining about it and thinking of it as a terrible situation doesn’t help anybody. It took me many years and several attempts to get off the streets, off the drugs but I kept on going until I achieved it. I was never ‘happy’ with the situation but my inner happiness which depends on nothing outside of me ensures that I am happy, truly happy, no matter what my circumstances are so when I’ve been homeless I have simply accepted that I am homeless just now and I would make the best of it. 

    I might also take a rest. The conversations have been so helpful to me. The posts I started were to help me. I don’t always talk like that but that part was for me so I needed to talk openly. Everybody who contributed helped me more than they will probably ever know. 

    I do know the universal laws. For whatever reason (I don’t try and work it out anymore) I was born with a connection to my spiritual self and the universe and I had no connection to my body. I’ve had to learn how to be human and although I’ve always got what I wanted in life, living in a world where nobody speaks your language (as many people with autism can relate to) is not always easy. However, my diagnosis changed all that and the recent conversations, although they didn’t end so well, have given me the confidence and the go ahead to be me. Not just as an autistic person but who I am, living on this different dimension, as well. 

    You’ve got a book to write anyway, we’re all waiting for it to hit the shelves so we can get our copies Blush

  • Perhaps Tom, it is you that needs to spend some time speaking with  people who are homeless.

    I have spent several working years speaking to homeless people, in shelters, etc - or even simply of my own free will.  These people included my own father.  My response was provoked by my own such experiences.  In all of that time, and with all of the many people I've met, I've rarely met a person who wanted their homeless situation to continue, and felt somehow 'settled' with it - or who had accepted it openly and regarded it as a wonderful experience.  I certainly never met anyone who viewed sitting on a pavement as no different to sitting in a house.  Most would have given anything to get back to a situation where they had a roof over their heads, security, and an income of some form.  Many had mental health issues, which were often what had led them to the streets.  Many, too, had substance misuse issues to deal with.  Again, addictions had often led them to where they were.  And once you're on the street, such problems and issues very often get much worse.

    Being a vulnerable person myself, I naturally identify with vulnerable people - and animals - and for over thirty years have been active in their behalf in many respects.  My life-commitment is to helping the vulnerable.  So when I read something - subjective, but presented as some kind of universal truth - that appears to trivialise their experience, then I react.

    I accept that each person's experience of just about everything on earth is different.  So when I say 'appears to trivialise', I mean it subjectively.

    I, too, hope you won't leave, BlueRay.  As someone who's also been a victim of bullying, I know what it's like to feel that you are in a hostile environment.  I'm sorry if you felt that my attitude was bullying.  Truly sorry.  I hope you can understand why I reacted the way I did.  I think it might be time for me to give things a rest, too.

  • One person's nonsense is another person's lived experience. So just as you find BlueRay's description nonsense, I have experienced much like it and in no way as a desperate homeless person. I was homeless and it was a matter of facts, and I paid diligent attention to the necessity of them, eating from skips, waking up in frozen clothes and so on and so on.

    I was deliberately using that absolutist construction, Deepthought.  But you're quite right, and I would normally have written something less severe.  More along the lines of 'I believe this to be nonsense.'  In fact, I wouldn't even have said that.  More like 'I don't believe this to be true for everyone.'  I think indignation made me slip a little, too.


  • It’s ok Deepthought, I’m out of here

    Well that would be nice if you meant only for the time being in the temporary sense perhaps?


  • It’s ok Deepthought, I’m out of here. I’ve never been met with so much hostility and name calling before in all my life. Like you, when I’ve been homeless I’ve been homeless, it’s a fact, and like you I accepted that fact and paid diligent attention to what I needed to do, I didn’t sit around crying about how terrible my life was. If I did that, I’d still be on the streets, I’d still be in and out of prison. Instead of crying about how terrible it is to be homeless I did something about it.