Verbal/body language communication is over rated

Verbal communication and actions are over rated.

For example, for the past 12 months while I’ve been in burnout, I haven’t heard from hardly any of my friends and barely any of my family, and I’ve got a lot of friends and family, so this isn’t usual.

This has been a true god send to me. Most of them don’t even know yet that I’m autistic and they certainly don’t know I’ve been in a burnout, they have no idea.

However, since I’ve started to feel better, I’ve had a steady but manageable (so far) stream of friends contacting me. Inviting me out for lunch, to go for a walk, to go nordic walking, cycling, one friend who knows I would love to go to Marrakesh has paid for and booked a holiday there for us in June, the same friend has also booked a hotel for us next week so we can go to listen to her favourite band who are coming over from America. None of her friends like the band so they won’t go but she knows I’d go to the end of the world for her if needs be so although I don’t like going to listen to bands, I’m happy to go with her because I know how important it is to her and she’s insisted that she pay for that as well. We might not see each other or have any kind of contact for months and months on end but she knows she can rely on me to the degree that if i’m able to help or be there for her in any way, I will be. She doesn’t have the same level of confidence in the friends she hangs out with all the time.

I have other invites coming in as well, as well as friends popping up to simply say hi, how are you. I don’t keep in regular verbal or physical contact with my friends or family but we are in touch constantly by something much stronger than our words and actions. They didn’t know that I need their friendships right now, that their friendships are what will help me on my next leg of the journey. I’ve decided to go back to India and Bali and some other countries so I’m going to be away for a while this time, maybe a few years, maybe forever, who knows, so it’s great that I get to see some of my friends before I go. And no matter where I am in the world, at least one of my family or friends (who are my family) will come and visit me. They have been to Australia, Bali, India, the Isle of Man, all the places I’ve lived in the UK, wherever I go or wherever I am my friends keep in touch with me some how. I’ve even had letters and cards arrive at remote ashrams I’ve been at in India ~ I wouldn’t even know you could do that!

I don’t keep in touch with them so much but they never let me out of their hearts and visa versa. They all encourage and support me no matter what I do. My dad is currently encouraging me to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, another friend bought me the book with the route etc and I just know that whether I want them to or not, at least one of them will come and see me while I’m walking the trail and either walk a bit of the trail with me or for me to have a little stop off with them. I know when my sister is hurt and in which part of her body and visa versa and she’s the least ‘spiritual’ person you could ever come across.

This is a few days later now and I have to admit that the messages from friends and family is starting to become a little overwhelming for me now. I’ll handle it. But what I’m saying is, if I had to rely on verbal communication, I don’t think I’d have any friends at all, but I speak to them in my language. They don’t use this language with other people and they have no idea really how it works with me but it does and I’m overflowing with gratitude at the love and friendship that’s pouring my way now, now that I’m ready to receive it.

Verbal communication hurts my head, sign language is a bit better but I much prefer to communicate in a non verbal, none sign language way. That way I don’t have to get past all your understandings and you beyond mine before we reach some level of mutual understanding.

This is why I love silent retreats and the level of friendships you form there go way deeper than the ones you make when you are verbally communicating or communicating through body language.

I love it when I go mute but that doesn’t happen very often so I have to accept that I was given the ability to speak for some reason. I have surrendered to this now so now I will be guided in whatever way I need to be and if it means using my voice, so be it. I don’t hate it like I used to. I accept I can speak and now I’m not fighting it I guess I’ll soon find out why I can. I still find verbal/body language to be a very crude and harsh form of communication though. 

Parents Reply

  • I’ll put your name at the beginning so you are less likely to miss the comments because this is really interesting. I don’t understand what you’re saying, but I’m going to do my best. And maybe after a bit of toing and froing I might gain more understanding.

    You have already the understanding ~ it's just the comprehension that we all need and eventually get one way or another with or without teacher as student and student as teacher, and all that sort of thing involving the meaning of absolute being as infinitely becoming ~ God through Goddess or energy through matter.

    I don’t recognise societal laws, they have no interest to me. So when I talk about laws, I’m talking universal laws, but the description remains accurate. 

    Laws as previously discussed are recorded descriptions of particular processes that occur in material nature, for the sake of specialised fields of reference or information. 

    Universal law by definition includes every law of societal law also, and societal law is used for social reference when ignorance prevails. 

    Laws are not required whilst universal wisdom is as love embodied or as energy equally manifest. Look and listen for instance to all that surrounds you and know that laws are not involved but the principles of fluid dynamics and fixed mechanics of nature as energised forces are.  

    Law is a system of rules that are created and enforced, through social or governmental institutions, to regulate behaviour. Law is a system that regulates and ensures that individuals or a community adhere to the will of the state. 

    Already discussed:

    The [natural] laws, is a system of unbreakabke rules that were created ... to regulate behaviour.

    The diamagnetic and electromagnetic forces of nature organise the geometric progressions of energy via crystal-mineral formations of matter, that regulate fluid and fixed facilitations such as clouds and snow, cerebrospinal fluid and bones, lava and rock and every thing else above and below you.

    These laws aren’t enforced, people have free will to follow the laws or not.

    These forces are emergent energy as being light, and convergent matter as being dark, and people can choose between the manifestation of light inside of them, and the dark outside of them.

    They are not judged for this in anyway.

    Judgement only applies to intentions to do things or not, during the course of doing things and after having done things.

    The laws are a system that regulates and ensures that individuals or a community adhere to the will of the state ~ the state being the creater of the laws, for ease of conversation let’s call that god ~ unless you have any negative connotations attached to that word?

    The forces of light and dark govern and balance individual and collective harmonisation such as from atoms to galaxies ~ through the absolute being as infinitely becomes. For the ease of conversation let's not call it "god" because I might be referring to the spirit of me, or the spirit of you or any other spirit in anything else that is not wholly the absolute being of infinite becoming. But "God" with an upper case 'G' will do when referring to the Allparent or All-being of All-becoming ~ although some state "GOD" is the better option, being that there is the heavenly assembly of Gods, and the earthly assemblies of gods. Some use the term "angel" regarding human beings rather than god to save spoken confusions.

    So for example, love thy neighbour as yourself. That is a law. If you follow this law you will experience bliss, freedom and happiness ~ provided you ‘know thyself’. If you don’t, you will experience any and all of frustration, jealousy, envy, hatred etc etc. 

    Bliss and agony, freedom and restriction and happiness and sadness are all polar opposites resulting in the other, whilst developing a relationship with the love of the spirit in heart, soul and mind ~ balances out and compensates for the differences between those of ourselves, and thereby others as well in terms of harmonic resonance. 

    Frustration ~ feeling distressed about an inability to change or achieve something ~ is a regulum of human physiological experience, but it need not remain as a prolonged psychological issue. Tensions in the body for instance frustrate free movement, such as when we are physically tired, sick or injured, hence the need to care for ourselves, and better moderate our actions.    

    Envy ~ feeling deprived of what someone else enjoys having, and jealousy ~ feeling hostile toward a rival or someone enjoying an advantage ~ these are socially fostered and personally adopted behaviourisms from childhood, involving genetic tendencies also, that may be better moderated, diminished or even wholly relinquished.

    Hatred is another part of the human experiential regulum ~ such as hating the smell or taste of particular type of food, drink or medicie, and most people think they hate particular people or groups of people or whatever else, but this is actually as such loathing, which may be better managed or relinquished also.

    Nobody will ‘punish’ you if you don’t live by this law, you won’t be judged, but you will not experience the constant bliss, freedom and happiness it gives you in return. 

    Already and just covered.

    If you don’t follow it, you will simply reap what you sow. You will plant the seed (the cause, the harmful thoughts) and you will experience the effects of those thoughts. 

    Well leading a life embodying at one extent love as wisdom, or following a life embodying lusts (desires) as ignorance at the other extent ~ involves sowing what one will reap as such one way or another either way, and this is so regardless of what anyone does in the neutral, positive or negative sense.

    It’s a simple law but most people chose to ignore it and as such, they do not experience the freedom. 

    Everyone experiences freedom, whether they are aware of it or they want it or not, only most people are fearful of it and individuality also, as they need instead the stimulation of or the distraction from themselves by way of regular interactions with others collectively. Most people cannot function independently as they are followers, supporters or leaders of groups genetically to the core, and only a few can go and do the way of the wilderness.

    Humans create their own laws. They are not based on love and freedom, they are based on things like control, greed, power etc and as such, I do not recognise them. 

    The law as system of rules and regulations is not based on things like control, greed and power, the tidiest description aside from the "bind" ( as I'd use unite) that I most identify with so far is:

    LAW. Laws are rules that bind all people living in a community. Laws protect our general safety, and ensure our rights as >subjects or< citizens against abuses by other people, by organizations, and by the government itself. We have laws to help provide for our general safety.

    So it is more that controlling, greedy and power hunger people use the law as they do more negatively, and that people who have a healthy sense of community and society use the law as they do more positively. The law is neutral.

    I think rather than law, you are considering more the subject matter of morals and ethics ~  with morals being what individual's believe to be right and wrong, and ethics being societal codes of conduct in social and professional environments. 

    In respect of Law, do other than to as the expression goes "Throw the baby out with the bathwater" perhaps?

    I live by the law of love and as it continues to be proven in my life, this law is far greater than any human man made law so I have no reason to recognise or abide by man made laws.

    I think more that you live by the spirit or power of love, which is harmonic rather than as you describe being selective or exclusive, for as such you are not describing love, but more passions and desires to rebel against some aspects of social conformity and societal values.

    Thus you have become in writing a law unto yourself, rejecting then also the divinely inspired fundamental laws made by Humans as records for reference, guidance and as above described and quoted regarding safety from harm, and recourse when harm is being or has been done.

    Remember that many types of people read these threads and posts, and through which some find reason to live by what is written. Remember also that T1's Follow, T2s Support and T3s Lead more or less by habit what most triggers or stimulates them to do so.

    The main problem is setting standards and reasons for rebellion against the law firstly devalues it, and secondly gives further stimulus for others to reject and ignore what it stands for also.

    Consider for example from the NIV1984 Bible version of the first book of Peter chapter 2, verses 13 through to 16 as follows:

    13.) Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, 14.) or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right.

    15.) For such is the will of God that by doing right you may silence the ignorance of foolish men.

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