Published on 12, July, 2020
A few years ago, I said to my mentor, that I loved doing whatever I was doing. He said, that’s interesting, I only do what I love.
I had no idea what he was talking about at the time but I felt that he had said something profound, so I allowed this thought to sink in and once I realised what it meant, I also made the decision to do only what I love.
It was one of the best decisions I ever made because now, I do only what I love.
How many other people only do what they love and what is their reason for not doing what they love, if that’s the case.
It has created an interesting and exciting journey for me because prior to this, I didn’t really know what I loved doing, I’m still exploring that and it’s been fascinating to see how I’ve lived many years without a clue about what I loved doing. Now I love exploring and finding out what I love to do.
I like the idea of doing only what I love, but in real life you just often have to find what happiness you can in between the difficult bits, and sometimes in spite of them, when you can. For example, have a fairly monotonous job, in the laundry at a care home, but it pays the bills. And there is some satisfaction to be had, because I like to see everything left clean and neat, even if I know the baskets will be piled high with smelly laundry again the following day.
I have a family who sometimes drive me crazy, but who I love unconditionally. Sometimes I have to push myself to do things I don't like, but they have expanded my world.
You have to take the good with the bad, because that is how it is for everyone. By all means try to make your life better if you can, but sometimes you just have to work with what you have.
I don’t know if it’s posdible to make your life ‘better’ is it. What does that even mean, I don’t understand. How can one thing be better than another?
And what do you mean about finding happiness? Surely happiness is within you? How do you find it outside of you and where would you even begin to look for it? That sounds like a scary and exhausting prospect. Looking for something in the world when you don’t know where it is and we live in a big world, it could take a while. What does it even look like? And are you saying difficult things can’t equate to happiness? So that’s a bit of a clue when searching for happiness. Now we know it’s not found in things that are difficult! It’s a start I suppose.
I know what you mean about sometimes pushing yourself to do things you don’t want to do but doing them anyway because they expand your world. I do that but see it in a different way to you. I see it as pushing myself to do something new, which can be scary and can feel like it’s something I don’t want to do, but only because it’s something new and I don’t do well with change but if it’s giving me some benefit, then it is something I want to do. Although I rarely do that these days but I still do, such as now for instance, I’m going to have a bit of a wash before I go out. I don’t necessarily want to do that but I know I’ll feel better for it so I will.
I don’t know how to take the good with the bad because I don’t know the difference. Surely everything’s good and if we think something is bad, it’s only bad because it doesn’t meet a preference within us, but it doesn’t mean it’s ‘bad’, only to us in that moment relating to our particular preferences at that time. You said sometimes, you have to work with what you have, what do you do the rest of the time? Work with what you haven’t got? I don’t understand, working with what we have is the only thing we can do, surely, and what we have within us is the greatest power on earth. How can we ever have anything better than that?
I think there is always room for improvement, in our lives and in the world around us. My idea of making my life better would involve trying to be make more of a positive impact on the world and on the people around me. I don't have any great influence or abilities, so it is only small things. It might include buying a copy of the Big Issue from a vendor instead of walking past, offering a lift home to a neighbour laden down with shopping, or even just clearing a huge pile of stinky laundry and doing a good job. It's true that the impulse has to come from inside, but the effects are outward as well.
As for saying you don't know the difference between good and bad, and surely everything's good, I don't understand what you mean. People dying of starvation in one country while people die of obesity-related heart disease in another is bad. Genocide is bad. Ecological destruction is bad. It's not just a matter of how you feel about it.
As for finding happiness, I can see what you're getting at, the feeling of happiness originates inside us. I just meant that it is often triggered by things happening around us. I try to be content with my circumstances, but improve them if or when possible. and what counts as "improvement" is a personal decision. But it should ideally be a decision which does no harm.
That last bit was meant to be a smiley face, I pressed the wrong key.