so i am a fan of a video game called undertale and one of the main reasons is because it has so many morals and moments and things you can learn from it heck i heard of a man who got his will back to live from this game anyways the main thing i'm getting too is how i show people these things like moments that made my cry on the inside or morals you learn from moments of the game and they just go "cool" and that's it and i don't like that because people don't seem to get the meanings behind these moments and characters and the strange things is people can react like that to books and movies but not this game and not just undertale but other things as well that i fell in love with because of some of this and people just don't seem to care as much as i do and that kinda makes me feel like i'm the only one who got the "feels" in amazing videos made by fans that portray these moments perfectly like (you will only know these if you played undertale) when undyne became undyne the undying and what she said before and after and papyrus always believing in you and sans and even mettaton and asriel and both pacifist and genocide and more so what i'm saying is that people don't seem to get the morals and meanings like i do and even if i tell them they will just go "cool".
Wow! That's a long sentence, but I think I get the gist of it!
I'm not really a gamer. I get those things you describe from reading - especially short stories and poetry. The big guns for me are people like Raymond Carver and Charles Bukowski. Carver's fiction and poetry taught me so much: about what love is (and isn't), and the power of meaning in the simplest and most ordinary of things. Bukowski taught me (as Carver did, but in a different way) that it's okay to be me. To be different. To be the lone wolf. To be an outcast. I re-read these two guys constantly - especially when I'm feeling low and bad about myself. They always make me sit up and take notice. They always renew my confidence.
But you’re not a lone wolf, you’re not an outcast, and you're certainly not different. Not from me anyway, and neither are you any different from many others on here. Sure, we’re a bit different from most people, but hey, we’re mostly kind of glad about that.
Your comment about the power of meaning in the simplist and most ordinary of things, and about how you were taught what love is, reminded me of the course in miracles. You may have already heard of it or indeed completed the course. But if not, or for any body else who is interested.
The core teaching of The Course in Miracles is that there is both Love and fear. Love is within us and and fear is what we learn. The Course acknowledges that Love is too great to teach so the focus is on teaching the unlearning of fear. Marianne Williamson explains it this way ~ “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts. Love is the essential reality and our purpose on earth. To be consciously aware of it, to experience love in ourselves and others, is the meaning of life. Meaning does not lie in things. Meaning lies in us.”
Another good quote from the course in miracles, is, “Nothing outside yourself can save you; nothing outside yourself can give you peace. But this also means that nothing outside yourself can hurt you or disturb your peace or upset you in anyway.”
Your comment mostly reminded me of the first two lessons in the Course in Miracles. “Nothing I see in this room [on this street,
from this window, in this place] means anything.” “I have given everything I see in this room [on this street,
from this window, in this place] all the meaning that it has for me.”
The course can be summed up very simply in this way ~ Nothing real can be threatened.Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”
BlueRay said:But you’re not a lone wolf, you’re not an outcast, and you're certainly not different. Not from me anyway, and neither are you any different from many others on here. Sure, we’re a bit different from most people, but hey, we’re mostly kind of glad about that.
Absolutely. Before my diagnosis, though - so before I had a proper context for how I was - it was very reassuring to read writers like Bukowski. He lived the kind of life I live, and made art out of it. Gave it meaning. It's like a celebration of failure (that is, 'failure' as broader society defines it), which is something I've always gone for. I wrote a fictional comic blog for a couple of years, about a washed-up guy in his fifties, with no proper job and a string of unsuccessful relationships behind him, living in a damp and seedy rented flat in a crummy town. His mates are mainly drunks and stoners, failed writers, failed musos, etc. It was kind of like a cross between 'The Last of the Summer Wine' and 'Trainspotting', if you can imagine that. It was quite popular. But then the blog platform shut down, and it was all lost. I've tried reviving it on other platforms, but without the same success. Many people commented that it was about time that those at the 'down' end of the scale got their proper recognition. I tried turning it into a novel, but it didn't work. It wasn't meant to be a novel. Most people's lives aren't like novels - they don't have a plot and a neat resolution. It's same sh*t, different day. Or same day, different sh*t! This is what Bukowski realised. It's why I love his writing so much.
In the context of day-to-day life, away from forums like this, I very much am the lone wolf. And I cast myself out more than I'm cast out by others. It's how I prefer to be. Outside, looking in. Not in, where you really can't see anything!