I would love to feel normal and to be able to think and do things and not zone off in to my own world as if I am living from the outside looking in. Normal tasks and progression Just seem mission impossible for me
I would like to feel normal and have a normal life. At the moment, I do not know anyone who is autistic around me.
I would like to be around other autistics.
I think I would feel normal, accepted and fit in.
It must be a totally different experience. I do not like masking.
I would like to enjoy pure joy.
I do not if I prefer online. But I do know that it is extremely difficult for me to start conversations.
I just feel if two autistic people like me will meet, we won't to talk to each other as we will not know how to start anything going. The other person and I will be simply anxious.
I think, for some reason, it is easier online to start something going.
I am all the time surrounded by nt people. I often feel like a stranger. They often do not understand me. I try to understand them but it hard for me to understand them as I feel that I am different.
I just want sometimes to feel accepted and not to work hard to fit in. It is so hard all the time to think how other people want me to behave and behave that. I feel that it is not natural for me. I feel unhappy with this.
I just want to relax myself, allow me to be clumsy and who I am. Be happy.
At my group we are all different and we just do our own thing. Last week I was playing scrabble, sometimes I colour, sometimes I chat. I can’t even begin to tell you what it’s like to be around people who understand you, who are like you. It’s so relaxing, so freeing because we don’t have to put on an act. It’s like there’s an invisible unspoken language that we all get. I think it must be the same for nt’s, they have their own invisible language that we don’t get.
I’m currently in the process of setting up groups all across the country, but more than that, I’m setting up a system whereby we can support people to get to the groups, because often, that’s the hardest part, actually getting to the group, at least for the first few times. But trust me, you have nothing to worry about. If you find a group and you’re a little or a lot nervous about going for the first time, that’s pretty much an expected response but when you get there you will soon relax. If you find a local group, see if you can get someone you trust to go with you for the first time or until you feel more confident about going by yourself. You can be yourself at these places, you can sit in a corner and say nothing, if that’s your thing, and nobody would bat an eye lid at you. You can be as odd, clumsy, quirky or as quite, loud or whatever, you just be yourself.
One of the most wonderful things anyone has ever said to me was at my group a few weeks ago. I got chatting to a guy I’d not met before, and after a while, he said, I thought you were normal when I first saw you. I knew exactly what he meant and it meant so much to me because one of my difficulties is, I ‘pass’ too well so it was such a good feeling to be in a place where I can be myself and people see the real me.
You don’t have to do anything to be accepted here and it’s the same in an autism group. Have a look around, see what’s available in your area. If you want to chat about it, give me a shout. I can support you to build up your confidence to get there.
I have had many situation in my life where I sit in a corner and say nothing.
Then I always think, I wish someone like me come and start talking to me as I feel so lonely.
Usually, other people quickly find someone to talk to. I am usually the last one who does not.
If you find a group, you could contact them before hand and let them know that you want to join because you’d like some social interaction but you can’t make the initial contact so you need support with this. That way they will make the initial contact with you.
I can somewhat understand wanting to be normal, but for me it would be removing who I am to get rid of my Asperger's. I'm also not sure I want to be normal if that means low IQ, lack of clarity, being illogical, all the problems that "normal" people seem to experience when I look on and think "why the f**k did you do that".
But that's part of the point, insomuch that NT's don't see their illogical, inconsistent and ambiguous behaviours as 'wrong' - instead, they consider us as 'wrong' for being too rigid, too definitive and too honest. To them, our lack of flexibility and over-thinking is what makes us 'disabled'. NT's are in the clear majority, ergo their behaviour is established as the norm. And, we all naturally want to feel part of the herd.
Some of us aren't bothered about confirming, I know I'm not and so are others on here. I don't know anyone who sees me as disabled (although there probably are some), odd, quirky, different, geeky, overly logical, but also meticulous, sensible, dedicated and caring in my own way.
I've cut and followed my own path as an adult and I'm better for it, I know not being normal has held me back in some ways, but it's pushed me forward in others. The main area that's been held back is relationships, however recently I've realised that if I'm me people are interested, trying to be more normal than I am didn't work because it wasn't me, but being who I am has people interested, because some women like not normal guys.
For me, I feel normal when I’m around other people like me. If I’m around nt’s, depending on the situation, but mostly, I don’t feel normal, but I don’t feel disabled, I just feel like me. If I begin to compare myself against nt’s, and try to be like them, I feel disabled. If I just be me and try to achieve my goals, I wouldn’t say I was disabled, but I do need help and to some degree, under the social model of disability, I do qualify as being disabled. This is just a qualifier to be able to get the support I need. Once I’ve got where I want to be, I won’t need government support and I will not consider myself disabled. Normal, can be how you feel when you’re with other people similar to yourself. So the majority of people are in the neurotypical population so when they’re together, which is pretty much all the time, they feel normal, because they’re not different to each other. I feel the same way when I’m around other autistic people. It’s like I don’t even think about it but I often reflect on my time at the group after I’ve been, and marvel at how ‘normal’ it all is. There are many other minority groups in society and for me, what I’ve found to be very helpful, is to be around and converse with other people like me. That makes me feel normal and I can go out in the world, as a normal nd! And I’m happy and would not want to be nt, any more than they would want to be me. Instead of figuring out all about why we’re like we are etc etc, I think they would do more good by helping to create ways in which we can live more comfortably in this life. Nt’s have challenges like nd’s do and we can all learn from each other. There doesn’t have to be such a divide. But what I love about being around other autistics, is there’s no masking, no scripting, my interactions are more meaningful. They’re helping me to open up to people a bit more. Not just nd’s but nt’s as well. I love the way we think and I love our community. I know some pretty special nt’s as well. But the fact is, there is a difference, between nt’s and nd’s and it’s not that they can’t mix, but for me, there’s something very special about being with other autistics. It helps give me courage to be me and know that I am part of the herd in so much as I’m a part of the human race, but I chose to follow my light and find my own path, instead of following the majority of the poplulation, which is a way of life that tends not to favour autistic people and although it can be a real struggle sometimes, I’m grateful to be unable to follow that herd. But I feel part of the autism community and that’s good enough for me.