I would love to feel normal and to be able to think and do things and not zone off in to my own world as if I am living from the outside looking in. Normal tasks and progression Just seem mission impossible for me
I can somewhat understand wanting to be normal, but for me it would be removing who I am to get rid of my Asperger's. I'm also not sure I want to be normal if that means low IQ, lack of clarity, being illogical, all the problems that "normal" people seem to experience when I look on and think "why the f**k did you do that".
But that's part of the point, insomuch that NT's don't see their illogical, inconsistent and ambiguous behaviours as 'wrong' - instead, they consider us as 'wrong' for being too rigid, too definitive and too honest. To them, our lack of flexibility and over-thinking is what makes us 'disabled'. NT's are in the clear majority, ergo their behaviour is established as the norm. And, we all naturally want to feel part of the herd.
Some of us aren't bothered about confirming, I know I'm not and so are others on here. I don't know anyone who sees me as disabled (although there probably are some), odd, quirky, different, geeky, overly logical, but also meticulous, sensible, dedicated and caring in my own way.
I've cut and followed my own path as an adult and I'm better for it, I know not being normal has held me back in some ways, but it's pushed me forward in others. The main area that's been held back is relationships, however recently I've realised that if I'm me people are interested, trying to be more normal than I am didn't work because it wasn't me, but being who I am has people interested, because some women like not normal guys.
For me, I feel normal when I’m around other people like me. If I’m around nt’s, depending on the situation, but mostly, I don’t feel normal, but I don’t feel disabled, I just feel like me. If I begin to compare myself against nt’s, and try to be like them, I feel disabled. If I just be me and try to achieve my goals, I wouldn’t say I was disabled, but I do need help and to some degree, under the social model of disability, I do qualify as being disabled. This is just a qualifier to be able to get the support I need. Once I’ve got where I want to be, I won’t need government support and I will not consider myself disabled. Normal, can be how you feel when you’re with other people similar to yourself. So the majority of people are in the neurotypical population so when they’re together, which is pretty much all the time, they feel normal, because they’re not different to each other. I feel the same way when I’m around other autistic people. It’s like I don’t even think about it but I often reflect on my time at the group after I’ve been, and marvel at how ‘normal’ it all is. There are many other minority groups in society and for me, what I’ve found to be very helpful, is to be around and converse with other people like me. That makes me feel normal and I can go out in the world, as a normal nd! And I’m happy and would not want to be nt, any more than they would want to be me. Instead of figuring out all about why we’re like we are etc etc, I think they would do more good by helping to create ways in which we can live more comfortably in this life. Nt’s have challenges like nd’s do and we can all learn from each other. There doesn’t have to be such a divide. But what I love about being around other autistics, is there’s no masking, no scripting, my interactions are more meaningful. They’re helping me to open up to people a bit more. Not just nd’s but nt’s as well. I love the way we think and I love our community. I know some pretty special nt’s as well. But the fact is, there is a difference, between nt’s and nd’s and it’s not that they can’t mix, but for me, there’s something very special about being with other autistics. It helps give me courage to be me and know that I am part of the herd in so much as I’m a part of the human race, but I chose to follow my light and find my own path, instead of following the majority of the poplulation, which is a way of life that tends not to favour autistic people and although it can be a real struggle sometimes, I’m grateful to be unable to follow that herd. But I feel part of the autism community and that’s good enough for me.