Asperges and Dating

What are your experiences with dating and do you find it difficult to maintain a relationship? I find communication hard sometimes and can come across cold.

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  • I find the initial part difficult, until you know someone a little knowing what to say, how to start conversations, when to just listen, it's all difficult. That being said tech makes things a lot easier, if you get as far as a date from online dating you at least know the other person is somewhat interested so you've jumped the first hurdle. That and they have a profile that gives you somewhere to start and conversations before you meet gives you a better start than just saying hello in a bar.

    I would say something that's difficult is actually knowing someone is properly interested though, I have been out with friends and ended up talking to people and afterwards a friend has said why didn't you get her number, ask her for a drink next weekend and I'll have not even realised the woman was interested.

    I can come across as cold sometimes, firstly because I'm not great at showing my emotions, evening they are there they don't really show, secondly because I'm very matter of fact, logical, fact based and finally because I often just don't care, I don't mean I'm uncaring but I really couldn't care less about celebrities, TV shows, etc. I've been told that I'm very different when people get to know me, they can see I do care about friends, family, important issues etc. I just don't scream about it from the rooftops.

    One of the things I find difficult is an interim maintaining stage, you've got to know someone but you aren't living together, how much contact is the right amount. I can get up early, go to the gym, then to work, work late and come home, my brain works through all that but I don't feel the need to message them every hour, or even every day. I actually really like my own space sometimes. 

    So yes I've done my usual and written too much. I think relationships are hard for those of us with ASD, but I think they are hard for everyone, just in a different way for us. I'm single at the moment but I suspect I'm going to start to look again in a month or so once I'm through a busy six weeks and hoping it will be work again.