Title of a famous book. And how I feel about life in general.
I apologise for ranting. People who are not interested can
I try to mix and coexist but it's still a struggle. Most people talk in code which to me is a foreign language which I need a dictionary to translate into meaning.
I'm still have four part time advisors helping me find work. But they are starting to give up. I get the interviews but I find the whole process strange and weird. The feedback I and my advisors get is that I'm the one who is strange and weird, saying inappropriate things and that I'm quirky.
In the past I was much worse. I'm ignorant of good/bad manners because I unaware of how most NTs behave. When visitors came to our house i stayed in my room, not interacting. I only discovered on this website a few weeks ago that this is considered rude?
I was in my twenties before I discovered that it's the host's responsibility to offer drinks to visitors?
How to make small talk. A B1006y mystery!
Eye contact ??? Only had eye contact with cats in my youth. Then we moved onto nose touching.
Parties dates ?????? Why, what for?
Rant over for time. Back to bed with flu.
I attempt to Post with some "Experiences", if I may. This first is about what I myself have/know/find concerning "Manners", especially "courtesy", which upon another certain Thread ( community.autism.org.uk/.../offending-people. ) appeared to provoke a number of... well, 'Punctuation Marks'..?... yet please read on, for it is different as I find.
In my own youth, I found in an excessive manner, that I was targeted for accusations of "being RUDE". At school (even infant school), I was told off for "smiling" and also/or "not smiling". Phrases stuck in my head are:Angry, many times: "Don't you smile at me like that, young lady!!". And 'nicely', at least once: "I am not letting you out of this room until you smile!!"... these are events which, I cannot say in a nicer way, effectively SCARRED my childhood (!).**
In after schooling: ...I became absolutely fed up with the amount of times - even simply by passing-by - I was seen as rude, liar, thief, stupid, etc... I would talk to, or pass by, complete strangers. Yet they would say something inapplicable, as if they had known me for many years: "Oh, I know that man! Yeah!""Just because you haven't stolen anything today, doesn't mean that you won't later on!""All witches shall burn in the name of Jesus!!"
...in short, when someone wants to disparage me, it matters not what the given reason is, for they apply their own reasons.
Finally, how this relates to "manners" is somewhat this, which I do. I had it blasted into me, to always express "common courtesy", yet I DO know full well that it is not-at-all "common" anymore. I always say "Please", "Excuse Me", and "Thank You", and then step away before they can rearrange/construct an appropriate/insulting counter. (!)I dress smartly, despite my being unwell quite often, and I always try to be courteous... and for myself, maintaining honour and dignity is one of the few last strengths that I have, against a society which increasingly loves to $!&$#@ and also @$!&$!#, and especially @$#&!$&#@$&!!&$@& ...an awful lot.
End of Post. (...Thank You to everyone who might have read all of that.)
*** In the (unlikely) event of any "Teachers" reading, please do not do this at any child, NT or ND, okay?
Disallowed Cynosure said:
maintaining honour and dignity is one of the few last strengths that I have, against a society which increasingly loves to $!&$#@ and also @$!&$!#, and especially @$#&!$&#@$&!!&$@& ...an awful lot.
End of Post.
Read and ageeed x