Published on 12, July, 2020
Do you ever offend other people unintentionally, like me?
I try to live a quiet life, not bothering other people. But other people expect me to behave in a particular way and get very upset at things that don't really concern them.
A recent example is how I upset me sister, by not inviting her to my graduation ceremony.
Beforehand nothing was mentioned or discussed. I never had any intention of going to the ceremony. The idea of getting dressed up and being seen on stage by hundreds of people terrified me. Since the ceremony was optional I turned down the invitation and the two guest tickets.
A week later I got a very distressed phone call from my sister, trying to invite herself to my ceremony. She had assumed from the beginning that she would be invited.
End result was that she was so upset. I got uninvited to her family Christmas.
Someone else burning the midnight oil here! I slept for several hours after arriving home from work knackered, so naturally I'm not tired now!
I offend people without even trying. At work last year I nearly ended up on a disciplinary because of a single comment I made while talking to someone on the phone one day. I still don't know what it is that I said that was so offensive. I try my best, but that just increases my anxiety so I tend to avoid interactions with people who don't understand when I'm not at work. If that means spending the entire weekend on my own, then so be it.
I know what you mean about your sister saying she has never been to a graduation ceremony. My brother has been married twice and didn't invite me to either of his weddings. But if her relationship with you is that important she'll get over it. Sorry to be blunt, but she's punishing you for her own issues, and that's her problem, not yours. If she realises how unreasonable she is being and comes back to you then good. If not then do you really need that negativity in your life?
You're lucky you have paid employment.
I'm averaging one interview a week. And lots a debts. Lots of advice. But things just don't get better.
I also think my unconventional body language and phobias and fears offends people.
Sometimes I envy people who don't work. Especially when I'm the target of someone's anger in a three hour meeting.
I didn't say I don't work.
I don't have paid employment.
I also have meetings.
I am on the infamous Universal Credit. Every week I have a 30min meeting with my work coach at the job centre to explain how I spend 35 hours per week job seeking. Then an hour long meeting with another advisor at a private employment agency (contracted out to the job centre) about what jobs I'm applying for. Regular courses on job seeking, CV advice. Interview advice. Actual interviews. Etc.
Always short of money. Threats of eviction because I'm behind in rent, dealing with legal matters like being taken to court for claiming free prescriptions ( to which I am entitled to).
More meetings. With employment advisor for city council,. Meetings with mental health specialists.
I often have three or four formal meetings in a week.
Then there are the phone calls . Up to 45 min on a single call listening to piped music trying to get something done.
It's all enough to drive me to suicide.