I braved the cold and rain to visit a vintage charity shop, hoping to find some treasures. Upon entering, I found the regular volunteer deep in conversation with a customer, filled with laughter and anecdotes about the townsfolk. Their chatter felt overwhelming, and I began to feel out of place.
As I decided to leave, the volunteer called out to me, but I bluntly mentioned that their talking overshadowed their work, which was met with indifference. I noticed another customer leaving as well, confirming that I wasn't alone in my discomfort.
Frustration swelled within me, as I had hoped for a peaceful browsing experience, especially with the holiday season and its need for caution on my mind.
Reflecting on past visits, I recalled how warmly I had been welcomed by volunteers, who would pause their conversations to greet me and encourage my exploration. It’s those small acts of kindness that truly matter.
Hopefully, tonight, I'll be talking things through with a listening service on webchat.
I'll try to look at this from all sides of the interaction and see what happened and what you could think about next time that may make it easier to deal with. It isn't intended as a criticism of you, just an "unpacking" of what happened to see what can be learned.
When you arrived the volunteer was chatting with someone - this is pretty common in charity shops as the volunteers are unpaid and have more liberty to pass their time being social rather than with regular retail workers who are expected to be working all the time.
The vounteer could be seen as being social and engaging with the other customer. What was it about the conversation that was triggering for you?
As for you not getting a welcome from the volunteer, it could be they would consider it rude to interrupt the conversation with the original person in order to speak to you. Did you notice any non verbal cues from them like a nod or a little wave?
It was a public place more or less which there is always the risk of other people having converstions in, Would a pair of customers having the same conversation between them be the same trigger for you or was it just the lack of acknowledgement from the volunteer that was the issue there?
As I decided to leave, the volunteer called out to me, but I bluntly mentioned that their talking overshadowed their work, which was met with indifference.
I think the response you gave was a shock to the volunteer there - they were being polite to the first customer with their chatting and they did, later acknowledge you and it sounds like they asked if they could help only to be rebuffed and have their work ethic called into question.
I suspect this rather hostile exchange was the reason the other customer left as they could sense the tension.
Do you think your response in retrostpect was proportionate?
You mention you hoped for peace - does this mean complete silence or would it have been better to have some form of ear protection in future? Just trying to find ways to make things better for you.
I think the situation has a number of different interpritations as to why the volunteer behaved the way they did, but the only think you have control over is how you respond to it.
Personally I find it more effective to understand the dynamics at play in a situation like this, give the other person the benefit of the doubt if they are not being blatanty nasty (this does not seem to be the case here) and not let these stresses get on top of me so I have more energy for other things in life.
I'll try to look at this from all sides of the interaction and see what happened and what you could think about next time that may make it easier to deal with. It isn't intended as a criticism of you, just an "unpacking" of what happened to see what can be learned.
When you arrived the volunteer was chatting with someone - this is pretty common in charity shops as the volunteers are unpaid and have more liberty to pass their time being social rather than with regular retail workers who are expected to be working all the time.
The vounteer could be seen as being social and engaging with the other customer. What was it about the conversation that was triggering for you?
As for you not getting a welcome from the volunteer, it could be they would consider it rude to interrupt the conversation with the original person in order to speak to you. Did you notice any non verbal cues from them like a nod or a little wave?
It was a public place more or less which there is always the risk of other people having converstions in, Would a pair of customers having the same conversation between them be the same trigger for you or was it just the lack of acknowledgement from the volunteer that was the issue there?
As I decided to leave, the volunteer called out to me, but I bluntly mentioned that their talking overshadowed their work, which was met with indifference.
I think the response you gave was a shock to the volunteer there - they were being polite to the first customer with their chatting and they did, later acknowledge you and it sounds like they asked if they could help only to be rebuffed and have their work ethic called into question.
I suspect this rather hostile exchange was the reason the other customer left as they could sense the tension.
Do you think your response in retrostpect was proportionate?
You mention you hoped for peace - does this mean complete silence or would it have been better to have some form of ear protection in future? Just trying to find ways to make things better for you.
I think the situation has a number of different interpritations as to why the volunteer behaved the way they did, but the only think you have control over is how you respond to it.
Personally I find it more effective to understand the dynamics at play in a situation like this, give the other person the benefit of the doubt if they are not being blatanty nasty (this does not seem to be the case here) and not let these stresses get on top of me so I have more energy for other things in life.
