Let off steam in here thread.

My attempt at returning to work wasn't good and I'm back home with another two weeks off to try and get myself together.

Work are being good to me but they won't keep doing this forever. They like me but I'm easily replaceable.

If I go to my doctor she will just want to bump my meds up or change to a new medication and even then I don't know if it will work.

Disappointed that I couldn't cope at work. I thought I was ready but I had two panic attacks and a meltdown and now I'm tired and have a headache.

Thank you, Debbie. That's very kind of you and it is very appreciated.

Have a phone doctor's appointment today at 8:30 to review meds that haven't worked. When I booked it it was on the NHS app and therefore only telephone only. But when I got a reminder text yesterday it said it was at one of the surgeries. I can't do that, I'm at uni in another city, and sometimes it says that but it's still actually a phone call. But the reminder text was so late that by the time I had got out of my meeting I was in when I got it the GP was closed, and I haven't been able to make it through the 8 o'clock call queue to check, and now I don't want my phone occupied with calling the GP when they should be calling me, but they might also think I've just not turned up

I'm sorry to hear that P.

I've just looked it up.

Here's a link to the info on Mind about it, although I expect you've been given info already.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/dissociation-and-dissociative-disorders/dissociative-disorders/

Take care

x

Hope Malojian is doing better now and will join us again in the future. X

I don't have "steam" to let off really but do want to air my thoughts quickly.

I've been diagnosed with DID and that's brought with it a lot of insecurities for me and made me feel a little down as I thought I was ok and making good progress. I also feel a little confused now but staff say I'll get support and it will all turn out good in the end so I'm hoping she's right and it will.

I'm still hoping to have my life back on track in the next couple of years but things like this cropping up complicates things and it feels like I'll be here forever still trying to get my life in order.

Being annoyed about the situation is not so crippling psychologically as being worried about the situation.

And it's a tiny step towards when we little people finally tell our leaders we are sick of being held hostage to nuclear weapons. 

And if yo look at nuclear warfare plans there's never a "decapitation strike against the leadership"  option. It's always US who get it in the neck first "so our leadership will still be around to negotiate afterwards and aid in reconstruction"  - Bastards!! Those who are walking us into this are planing to survive at all costs!!

If covid didn't wake people up and annoy them properly, maybe this example of how dispensible you and me are to the likes of Rishi Sunak etc. Will? 

Sparkles. Instead of feeling stressed and worried, try feeling angry and motivated.

Angry about the fools who are rushing us towards conflict with Russia over matters that really do not concern us, and motivated to discuss the issue with your peers, and maybe even write a letter to your M.P. about the bloody stupid depleted uranium WE are sending to Ukraine to be spread about in the "bread basket of Europe" which we all should be hoping Ukraine gets back to being...

WE SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS SITUATION. Our leaders got us here, and very, very few of us put up any argument at all. Those of us who feel so "powerless" should be trying to wake up the rest.

I tried to let off steam reading your post.
After two minutes i just had to take the kettle off my head, it was burning like heck.

I'm sorry. That's so much on your mind.

Keep the faith keep positive.

Virtual hugs x

I'm feeling stressed and worried. Today we had the country wide alert alarm thing and in the news there's constant talk of WW3 looming. I'm terrified at what might happen. I don't want it to, but I fear war is coming and soon which is why this alert was tested. I've got mental struggle's and my sister is seriously sick. I'm so scared.

Sparkly,

I hope you can summon the necessary fortitude and grace to start making this journey (that many of us have faced) in which you become the parent to a large extent whilst the mental acuity and reasoning of the parent regresses back through the years in reverse.  It can be quite an emotionally "hot" journey!

Summoning patience and understanding can be challenging....we have to grieve the fact that we can't expect "mum" to look after us as she once did.....whilst simultaneously needing to accommodate an ever increasingly burdensome time/emotional commitment to REALLY start taking care of them = scrambling your life.  It's a triple whammy.

A good visualisation that helped me to understand (and accept) is as follows;

You are currently cruising along in your comfortable car, having driven it for many years.  Seat is in the perfect position, climate control settings are perfect, music set to perfect volume etc. and you are heading to your home to visit your parents for a lovely home cooked meal with your parents.  The world is good.

You notice a car in the far distance.....it appears to have it's reverse lights on and is gently swerving across the lanes.  You mutter to yourself and start feeling a little anxious, turn your music down and slow down just a smidgen.

As your car gets closer to the reversing car, you are feeling scared.....it's moving fast than you had thought.... you turn your music off, you wind down your window and start waving madly at the reversing car to alert them of the danger they are posing to themselves and to you, whilst swearing loudly at them.

You are now swerving your car trying to counter-match their swerves.. ..totally stressed out... ..can't believe this other driver is being so mad and dangerous... ..you're blasting your horn... flashing your lights...screaming at them.

As you finally pass alongside the car, you see that it's your mum and realise that she is oblivious to you and she's having her own "moment" and journey.

What do you do now!  Your journey is ruined (for a wee while) and you start worrying about all the other cars behind you.....and your mum...and what about that meal...is the oven on...is the front door open etc

What should you do now?!

Stop your car, get out and run back?  Turn your car around to follow them?  Call the police?  Cry?  Try reversing your car to follow them?  It's uncomfortable.....and in reality, you will not be able to help control that other car.... it will go wherever it is going.

Sorry if that's a bit of a "downer" for a Saturday morning.  Sorry if this does not apply to your circumstances.  Sorry if I've missed the mark.

I know you're a good egg.  You'll figure this sheet out.  Don't waste too much energy and anger trying to "alert" the other car.  Find a layby and have a fish paste a cucumber sandwich.  Exercise some mindfulness.

Wishing you all my very best....and in this instance, I can even summon a very big firm hug for you (subject to your requisite certified consent.)

Number.

Thank you Trisha. The hug is appreciated. 

For what it's worth, I hadn't considered your first response to be useless, as in my initial post I had made no mention of the possibility of dementia. It was no less appreciated.

Thank you for the link. My son and I are due to be visiting my mother later, so I am currently trying to think of a discreet way to 'assess' her. However, as there's a history of dementia on her side of the family, I reckon she will suss what is going on within seconds. 

I'm sorry you're going through this

Sending you a hug hoping it helps brighten you up xx xx

I hope this makes up for my previously useless post..

https://www.dementia.co.uk/dementia-tests/do-at-home-dementia-test

When eventually I face the clock test, I hope I'll both remember and be able to sketch a small carriage clock.. 

Thank you for the suggestion, but I'm now inclined to think there is a bit more going on than a clash of personalities, and 'transaction' difficulties.

I am now feeling deeply concerned. After bringing my son up to speed about the lengthy phone call from my mother, she phoned again. As I was in no mood to answer, I decided to let my phone's built-in answering machine deal with the call. Despite the well-spoken voice on the answering machine sounding not in the least bit like my voice, my mother seemed to think I had answered her call. As she was obviously wondering why I wasn't responding to what she was saying, she hung up and phoned again.

Another message was left that made absolutely no sense to both myself and my son. My mother thought she had worked out what the problem was. Apparently, the 'thingy' on her coffee table had been flashing with a message. I am guessing the 'thingy' had been her mobile phone, and it concerned me that she had clearly forgotten what it was called. My mother then proceeds to talk about her current energy provider(Octopus), which had taken over her former energy provider and caused some issues, and concludes by saying, "This probably explains why things are looking different on the TV now."

I am seriously struggling to understand what the heck my mother's energy provider has got to do with the appearance of Virgin Media services on her TV. More importantly, why my mother seemed to think the two things were closely linked. 

Not for the first time, my son and I have been discussing the possibility of the 'D' word (dementia).

For a bit of PRACTICAL help dealing with this problem, read the book I keep recommending. 

You will see her actions and your reactions to them in a different light, and will get "options for change" if that is what you truly desire.

But none of that takes away form my extending the deepest sympathy for your having to put up with that crap, especially lacking the tools to turn the situation to your mutual advantage...

You are indeed bright, young Sparkly, and I feel sure that once you understand how that "transaction" works, what is behind your mums quizzical behaviour, and have a few ways to deal with it, you can as I do with many situations, find a way to get a small "gift" rather than "annoyance" from your mums need to "transact". 

I appreciate you might just want to let off steam, but if you wanted some help, there it is.   

I currently find myself in a situation of wanting to have a jolly good vent, but almost feeling too mentally drained to do so. Very much a case of thinking, "Please shoot me now!"

A phone call from my mother, lasting almost an hour has been responsible for me now wanting to let out an exasperated scream. I have mentioned before on the forums that whilst my mother probably uses technological gadgets more frequently than me, she is (in my opinion) the last person on the planet that should use them. If more than a day passes without her experiencing some kind of problem with her laptop, smartphone, and sometimes her TV, it's an absolute flipping miracle.

One of today's issues was that my mother had signed into her BBC account and noticed that the last time it had been updated was back in 2021. At least I think that is what she had said. My response was to tell my mother that unless she had cause to amend any of her account details (i.e. e-mail address, password, etc), I did not feel this was something she needed to worry about.

Initially, I had begrudgingly offered to pop over to my mother's house to take a look, but then she started rabbiting on about this, that, and the other... Generally, things that were unrelated, and were of little interest to me. I let her ramble on, although made it clear that my brain felt exhausted. I had probably contributed no more than about 2 minutes of speech to that lengthy telephone conversation. However, when my mother finally started to bring that phone call to an end, she made it sound (not for the first time) as though I had been the one doing most of the talking. Not helping matters was when she asked if I was still intending to pop over to her house, as she felt like we had just been going around in circles. 

Are you quite sure you're neurotypical?