Guilt and work

Put bluntly im struggling to cope. I am told its ok not to work but cant get past the guilt. People say its ok and to chill but i feel like ive wasted my life. My family say they love me and to be happy but i cant seem to accept not having lives the obligations of adulthood. Anyone here not work but is supported or partner to someone with asd who doesnt...how is it

  • why am i fighting so hard against responsobility

  • You are not a freeloader; if you were, you wouldn't be worrying about it. Everything changes, given time. Keep a look out for opportunities, however small; be ready for better things, they always come.

  • I appreciate that I am very fortunate to be able to focus totally when something really interests me. And that doesn't mean that life has been easy. It's just that the original post was about feeling guilty for not fulfilling the "obligations of adulthood", so I hoped that my story might be helpful. It's only one example, but I do believe that everyone can make a great contribution to the world, in their own way.

  • Having un medicated ADHD that’s co morbid with autism is a nightmare because you can’t concentrate enough to build up a unique skill. 

  • Some years ago I was out of work, and I found a video game that really interested me. I got totally into it, spent hours on it, got to know it inside-out, got to know the other players (socialising is much easier with text chat!) and even found how to modify the game. In short, I became an expert in the game. Of course, my real-world friends thought i'd lost it - was without hope. It took two years. Then one day I saw an job advert where they were looking for someone to interview players of that game. I applied and got the job. My friends were confused! It was a good job. So, my suggestion is to do something that really interests you, whatever it is, however obscure; start with whatever resources you have, no matter how minimal. Learn all about whatever you have chosen. Get good at it. Become an expert. It will be fun to do, and being an expert is an achievement. People need experts, even in obscure things. You have such potential, it's just hard to be recognised by the neurotypicals, so we have to find our own path.

  • I cant get past being so unequipped to cope...ive only lasted by wife carrying load...its lile the slightest move would cause thongs go out of control...i feel like a kid just learning to walk and everyday im frightened....i am nowwhere near work capable and i feel like a baby because in the end autism or not i was not doing what i was supposed to

  • Today is hard because i can almost see happy. But its cause my mind is excusing work and not thinking of important stuff. Its like allof a sudden i dont seem autistic. It often feels like im making all this up..tjen the thought of it all  eing in my head and an excuse for lazy kicks in because i feel nothong ia wrong with me

  • Because bad people are often punished by society and good people are punished by Murphy’s law so either way your screwed. So take advantage of it & start planning world domination already & cause a little controlled CHOAS. Or at least try and outlive your enemies out of spite.

  • You have society recognised reason for not working, your raising minions.

  • My mind feels incredibly rigid...likr even changing thought patterns causes me alot of anxiety....i feel mentally locked and cant seem to do anything to break it...its how ive been most of my life...thinking does not seem to come naturally or when it does it gets shut downm....im a nervous wreck

  • Careful what you wish for

  • Ive thought that about myself before now too but your never better off dead. Trust me, please keep going. It will get better, mine did.

    You havnt got life wrong. Your trying to survive in a world that isnt designed for you, we all are. Im always here if you want to talk 

  • I got life so wrong im better off dead...this level of hell is beyond words

  • It’s definitely true that many hobbies require some money and a suitable environment. There are a few though that are very low budget. Writing and drawing are relatively affordable. When we first moved to a place where we had a garden we got plants from all over the place - it’s surprising what you can find. We even dug up small tree saplings from woodlands. When it comes to cooking you can do a lot with basic fresh ingredients from markets, or yellow stickered items from the supermarket. My husband even made furniture from salvaged wood - things from skips and old pallets. Of course it does cost some money to do these things (DIY stuff can be horribly expensive) but there’s usually something. I agree though- financial disadvantage impacts so much on these aspects of life. That’s why we need a fairer benefits system that is more generous and less…..difficult to navigate (I’m being polite). People with disabilities deserve a decent quality of life - the current benefits system makes achieving that incredibly difficult. 

  • Hobbies are for those with money and space. You need a job to pursue most things. Animation or digital art often requires an iPad. Art require art supplies. Cooking requires ingredients and access to a kitchen. 

    your limited before you have chance. 

  • Dysphoria seems to fit. Its like everytime i do anything i

  • That’s interesting Blue. It makes me wonder if my son might have ADHD. Anything I suggest to him as a way out of his current ‘frozen’ and withdrawn state of mind at the moment is met with a distinct ‘no’ - it’s as if he can’t contemplate taking anyone on at the moment - no even the lowest  ‘demand’ activity. Even things he used to enjoy.  

  • I love these idea Dawn Cherry blossom