Published on 12, July, 2020
I go through a lot of intense anxiety, as well as depression, and generally I'll be worrying to death about things I know I don't need to worry about it, or which I should put aside for now and deal with later. People have always told me I should be able to do this - choose to worry about something later, or dismiss worries from my mind - but this seems utterly impossible to me.
Is this part of the obsessive way an autistic mind works? I know I obsess over mundane things too which don't cause me anxiety but which I feel compelled to do, and also I get pleasure from obsessing over certain interests. Do we just have to accept this worry as part of the obsessiveness?
Unfortunately my OCD eventually morphed into psychosis when I had my second child - but I'm now on meds that fairly successfully treat my severe mental illness and my OCD - it's a shame that people have to get worse before anyone really cares.
This is widespread throughout our society. It's a reminder how disconnected and uncaring we have become to one another. It is more important now to judge people on their status i.e what they have, a job, money, house, car, friends etc etc before determining who is actually more deserving of help, friendship, treatment etc etc. You are more likely to be taken seriously or given help, obtain friends etc if you meet the criteria of the above status.
If you do not meet those, then you are deemed to have brought everything upon yourself. This is re-enforced in all the privately owned media and conservative soundbite opportunities on mainstrem tv and media. In other words, if you don't play by their rules. i.e have a steady job, house, car and debt, then you are a low-life, scrounger, dead-beat, addict, burden of society and so on.
We are living through a period of selfishness.
I think this is mostly true but you also need to want to help yourself. Some people expect miracles and everything to be done for them. This is a simplification however, and many people's problems are very complex. Of course, other people may not even be aware they need help. The people I've met in the healthcare profession have been non judgemental and I hope they woukd be the same with others.
It's horrible waiting isn't it. You'd think they could give you a basic Yay or nay ahead of sending the report.
I'm still waiting for the report from my assessment - I won't know until I get that - I chickened out of receiving feedback after the assessment and they wouldn't tell me the outcome by email - it's been months now. I'm going to ask for a second opinion if I'm not diagnosed, as it makes so much sense to me.
Are you autistic yourself?... Do you think any of it is to do with difficulty explaining yourself to doctors or lack of awareness of your own feelings/body? For me, I was prescribed SSRIs but I think I shouldve gone on them sooner and taken time off work sooner. I didn't realise how bad I was at the time (for anxiety), and it was only after taking time to recover did I realise how bad it actually was.