Mum to my recently diagnosed son

Hello everyone, 

I am 39 and have a gorgeous 3 year old boy who got his diagnoses two weeks ago for ASD. He is very sensory and can seek and get over stimulated at the same time. He is none verbal and has a special interest in Winnie the Pooh. I am learning with him on this journey and really just want to put myself out there in the hope that there maybe others near who would like to connect with me. I don't really know anyone in the area I live. I moved to be near my late husbands family. Doing this alone and having a child who struggles to shut down at night, has been at times overwhelming as I fight to stay awake with him. But I love everything about my boy. If I changed him he wouldn't be the boy he is. But I do want to help support him to grow and develop to the best of his abilities. I feel I need help to do that. So here I am saying hi and hoping someone may say hi back 

  • Yes please Laura that would be so lovely. I took my son to centre parks and he wanted to stay in the chalet the whole time there. But we went for Halloween so maybe when it is quieter like you say, he would like it better. It's good when we find places they like and can cope with. I plan to take him to eurocamp next year. But again before the kids brake up. Summer holidays are so hard to find places to go. My son hates the shops so much and if we see a sign or a sandwich board with writing on then he gets stuck at it. He loves letters and numbers. I keep hearing that there is going to be an autism shopping hour. That I think could be so helpful. Near me our local cinema does autism showings. I have not taken him yet but I am thinking about it. Like you say change is also hard. My son quickly creates routines and likes to stick to them. 

  • Yes it's great that we can share our concerns and successes with each other. I can imagine camping being a great holiday idea. We usually end up at centre parcs when the children are at school as it's still an outside environment and we don't have the crowds. 

    Next summer will be going abroad so very nervous about that. My son has an August birthday meaning it's the school holidays so taking him out and about can be difficult. He seems to react ok to sounds at the moment but doesn't like change in routine and wants to be able to touch everything. 

    Hopefuly we can continue to talk as we go through this journey together

  • Hello Laura,

    so nice to hear from another mum going through the same thing. 

    My son loves the outdoors too and goes through cycles of different behaviours. He sometimes likes putting things in his mouth. I have seen him try and fill his mouth with all his top, whilst eating. I bought him a chewbuddy from a sensory website which he could wear and chew on safely as it's made of medical material so won't brake up in his mouth. I kept worrying he may chew a zip or button off. 

    It would be lovely if a few of us parents could find each other to lean on. Even if it's simply to unload thoughts in our heads. Just hearing you describe your son a little felt like I was reading about my own life and it's a relief to know we are not alone on this journey. I think empathy is a great foundation for support. Please let's keep in touch. I took my son camping on his birthday. He was such a different boy whilst away. His birthday is in May. The kids were still in school and the campsite had very few people on it. We had an entire field to ourselves. It was in Cornwall. He just loves nature and was so relaxed and happy. We stayed in what's called a camping pod. He loved it as it was so snug. I put fairy lights up inside which helped at night . I would definitely do this again. It's hard getting him out to places as they are normally so busy and he struggles with all the different sounds 

    thanks ever so much for getting in touch and please feel free to contact me anytime. It's lovely to hear from a fellow mum 

  • Hello, I'm Laura 24 very similar story. Friday my 3 year old son was diagnosed with autism. He's also non verbal. His main interests are peppa pig and paw patrol but he seems to have a very short attention span. My son loves to feel things and put things in his mouth all of the time and loves being outside. 

    I know very little about autism and just looking for help/advice and support from people going through this. 

  • Thank you again for your kind and supportive words. I totally agree with you. Autism is not an illness to cure. It simply means someone's brain works a different way. My mum put it in an interesting way. She said it's like Mine and her brains work on windows platform and my sons works on MAC. He isn't poorly at all. And you can't take the autism out of him without removing the person he is. We just need to find away to work together. Help each other understand how we each view the world. For him it will always be a bit different to how I see it. I will always support him and help him find his best ways to cope with things he may struggle with. I am sure I will in turn learn a lot from my son. He is a very kind, loving boy. It is always lovely to hear that others have gone on to have families of their own. And now you are a grandparent. What a beautiful thing for anyone. All the best for you and your family 

  • Thanks penny Jane,One thing I find rediculouse is the misconception of people with autism have no empathy! You will find that we are extremely caring and fragile individuals.

    When I say nice things I actually mean them,Being 54 and realising I am autistic was stressful,anyway enough about me! Your son having a fascination for pooh in different languages is amazing,If it helps him then great.

    I have to mention me again as one point I want to mention is about being young, I wrote a very long post about it,I only have nine specific memories of infant school and none of them happy ones.

    I don't know if I were non verbal or non interactive back then but it would make sense,I can remember quite a lot more when attending middle school, still researching all this as I would like to know in that it may help others for me to explain life as a growing autistic child.I am suggesting I kind of woke up or became aware at a certain age? No proof but possible.there is no cure for autism as it isn't a disease.

     So I am suggesting and please be aware this is only a thought not a science. Your son may well be happy in his own world but the usual autistic traits of little communication and interaction aren't things to worry about,if he appears happy then he really will be. I grew up to be me,holding down a job,getting married and having two beautiful now grown up daughters,I am recently a grandad,So with support and understanding your son can achieve anything, we are just a different kind of normal.

    take care and yes I do go on and on.Heres a virtual hug for you and your boy ().

  • Hello Loneworrior 

    Thank you for your kind words and I am sorry it has taken 55 years for you to discover you could have autism. I have read about very late diagnoses and hope you can get some support finally. Communities like this are invaluable for both those with autism and anyone supporting a person with autism. I am so pleased my Paediatrician told me about this one. Yes anything Winnie related he loves. He watches documentaries and book reviews a lot at the minute and he currently likes Winnie in German and Spanish. He has many many books on Winnie. For me he is an inspiration and I hope as the years go on I do right by him. 

    Thanks so much for saying hi 

  • Hi penny jane thank you for taking the step to come here and seek out plans for your lovely sons future,I think he is a very lucky little chap having an understanding mum like you.

    There is a lot of information on here to read through,I am male and 55 and only recently decided I have been autistic all my life,Autsm wasn't really recognised back then,there is a lot of help and support for young ones now, it can be a postcode lottery I am afraid, 

    Anyway someone will appear with links and sound advice to help you.

    Look after yourself and your son,Winnie the pooh is a fantastic place to be in,