Hello, I'm new

I suppose one could use standard over the head-head phones, as a noise cancellation device? I have taken to wearing them when on my MTB, but I am listening to educational talks in the back ground, it is fun, and looks 'Funky' too.

hello and welcome. I'm not autistic but my daughter is a non verbal autistic child and since her diagnosis I have learned so much and have attended courses to help me understand Autism. like everyone on this forum I will help in any way I can even if it just for a chat.

Evening folks. Another newbie here. I'm Hester and a parent to at least one (his twin is also being assessed)  

im looking forward to picking brains and have a place to discuss my boys where people will understand. Xx

New to all this ASD fourm and feel with last 2 months I had it's correct time to do so as really don't known what to next. I have been thrown in to issue that I can't really get out of my head with out going in to many details it took lead more issues in my life of the worse. I have very strong believe that things have made up about myself and very sure I overheard people talking about it but can't say what was said word of word but am sure of it but no one seems to what to listen to me and tell me I have let get in to head. I have tried to say people about it and have contact the other person in middle of this by email and said I am really sorry of all this but don't over do it by trying contact the person as then I will be seen as pain. I feel that lies being said to the person to make look really bad to the person when (I have mess up of sure) but people just make our things up to make out be something it is not. I have been called in past by other person in middle of all this it's fine as nothing happend but I start up again with send emails to this person and other that way out of order by myself but both people reached out make sure I was ok. From Wednesday last week I have seriously believe that things have just being blown up to make look something am not and feel it's just too much to deal with now. Do I take risk off going out to proof the truth but at same time risk everything I got and have and worked so hard over the years if worrying about it all?.

Hi California.

I find that writing a script works well.

I have even writen flow diagrams based on what answers I might get, so the conversation has a structure before it begins. I find this helps keep me on track, and also helps me make sureI get what I need out of a call without getting side tracked (Which is pretty easy!)

I can always send you an example of the one I use when phoning my internet provider

Those who do not like phones, how do you manage when you really need to call somewhere? I really struggle with this! Sometimes, I find other ways. Insist on using e-mails. Sometimes, I send letters.

But often people want to speak to me over the phone and that sends me into panic mode.

You're welcome. I wasn't sure about wearing them. And maybe I can't wear them every time. I have to find out. Tomorrow is the next chance. I have to go back again.
 
It is a bit of a vicious circle sometimes.  
I think you will find a lot of suggestions and maybe something what works for you. Sometimes the easiest things are helpful (I use very smooth little stones from the beach, I have smooth sea glass here, a pompom etc various things, they don't have to cost a fortune, they just have to make you comfortable for the moment you need it)   
 
 

Thank you for suggesting earplugs. I do not really like them. I like more headphones.

Everything about festivals and music makes me uncomfortable and stresses me. I have not tried yet anything like stress balls or something similar but I will look into this. Thank you very much!

It is interesting! I usually only listen when someone is saying something! Of course, I miss body language but that is OK!

I also feel very uncomfortable when somebody is behind and/or is moving behind me. I am always afraid that somebody might do something to me from behind.

I, probably, could also look my partner in the eyes. I, probably, would even enjoy it. But I have not had a partner in my life. So, do not really know. But would love someone who would understand me.

Looking people in the eyes is difficult for me. I've learnt it with some people, like my partner. I can look him in the eyes - sometimes. 

For travelling on the bus and being around noisy places. 
I had to go to a festival today to bring some music equipment for tonight. It always makes me very uncomfortable and stresses me. In my pocket I always have a little fidget toy, It just fits in my hand and I can move it around like I want, as it is kind of flexible. If it is not that, it is a guitar plectrum or something similar sized with a surface I find interesting to focus on. 

I also used Etymotic ETY ear plugs for the first time today. These are noise reducing ear plugs. It was a bit unfamiliar wearing them, but it helped a lot today. It reduced the noise very much, but I also could understand people talking to me. Of course I had to look at their mouths to see the words, but it was less stress than I recall it from last year. They will stay in my bag I have always with me. 
Maybe it is something for you too?

I also don't like chatting to people face to face very much, especially, when I don't know them, or when I am uncomfortable with them.
I don't like being on the phone, as I also pick up every little noise. I often don't understand the person on the other end and when this happens I get very nervous and panic. However, when I talk to people I do not look at them usually. I look everywhere else. I find it very difficult to look in somebody eyes.

I am now adult, but in school I was experiencing a lot of problems and I could not understand why my life was so difficult but now Aspergers explain everything. I find this so relieving. Everything makes sense now.

Hi California, 

welcome here :) 
As Daniel said, have a look at the AQ Test and possible talk to your GP about it.

Writing is so much easier for me, I can completely understand you! I don't like chatting to people face to face very much, especially, when I don't know them, or when I am uncomfortable with them.
I don't like being on the phone, as I pick up every little noise. I often don't understand the person on the other end. When I talk to people I look at their mouth, to see what they say. 

And again I agree with Daniel, nice to meet you here :)

Don't be suprised if it takes a long time till diagnosis. It took me just under 2 years from start to finish. I take headphones on the bus, though I have 3 children, so I cannot escape them all the time. I have a stress ball in the house which gets crushed a lot, and helps keep me from snapping and shouting at my children. Anger is something I am working on with my GP / ASD team.

Nice to meet you too

Hello,

Thank you for the reply!

I was doing the online tests for Aspergers and they all say that it is very likely that I have it.

I spoke to my GP and I am now in process. I am waiting for the assessment/test. Not sure what to expect!

My employer kindly provided me with noise cancelling headphones at work but I am struggling a lot on buses when travelling to and from work. Especially, when children are travelling. They shout and make a lot of noises.

Its nice to meet you!

For me it was just under 2 years from first gp visit to diagnosis. The main wait was between a 'q and a' assessment with the Autistic Diagnosis Service, and a follow up detailed meeting with my partner present. That was 11 months due to waiting lists. I can't encourage the jounrey enough though. It has had a hugely positive impact on my life!

Hi Daniel, 
I think it was the right decision to register myself here. I already see that I am not alone.
May I ask how long the process was for you from referral to diagnose? I know it depends on the area you live and the coverage of qualified staff, but for adults it seems generally quite long.

Thank you for your welcome :)

Hi California.

I am 33 and was diagnosed ASD (Aspergers) this year. Have you looked into approaching a diagnosis? My manager at work encouraged me to do an AQ test, after which I went and spoke to my GP

http://aspergerstest.net/aq-test/

The whole process from start to finish is explained very well on the NAS website:

http://www.autism.org.uk/about/diagnosis/adults.aspx

I find writing easier than talking! If you have any questions the forum is a great place to ask them! There are many people here covering many walks of life!

Its nice to meet you!

Good evening Gonzo :) 

Thank you as well for your welcome and welcome to you too :) 
Daunting is the right word for it, I agree. Not that I only struggle to form the right words in my head, I also don't want to come across as someone who is complaining. It makes me feel very uncomfortable asking for help and advice. I don't like taking the centre stage at all, but that's the feeling I have then. 
I'm sure I find a lot of help just by reading here. 

Good luck to you too and thank you again :)

Hello,

I am also new, I am in my 30s, a male! I have read a lot about Asperger's syndrome and I think I have it.

I'm struggling to explain what's going on in my head in words when talking. It is easier for me to do in writing.

I'm avoiding phone calls as much as I can. It is so upsetting that most of companies want to contact them by phone but it is so difficult for me. It is much easier for me to use e-mails, SMS, letters.

I would be interested to find a friend who has similar difficulties.

Hello ElephantInTheRoom, thank you very much for your welcome :) 

I absolutely agree with you. It seems very little support out there, especially for adults on the spectrum and even less for women. Not to mention that it also depend of the area you live.
You can find a lot of support-pages and support - groups on Facebook as well as on Twitter and generally online, but most of them seem to be for parents who have autistic children.  

I haven't spoken with my GP about that at all. I try to avoid doctors as much as as can.
My referral was issued by my Primary Mental Health Practitioner after everything she recommended kind of failed. 
But: She was spotted things during our talks, which are totally normal for me and I always thought it is normal, but they obviously aren't "normal". Eventually I got the AQ50 and EQ and her thoughts of Autism. I never thought of that before. I was completely unaware which diagnoses are associated with the spectrum. 


Since January I've read a few books and blogs regarding ASD.
I follow a blog, written by a late diagnosed woman in her 30s. She explains her life, her thoughts and a lot of it makes sense to me. It is like she knows the words I'm struggling to find to explain to myself what's going on in my head. Sometimes we write messages and she's very friendly and helpful as well. 
I don't know, if it is allowed to post links here, so I rather hold back to post this link for now. 

Books which remained in my memory are "Autism and Asperger Sydrom in Adults" by Luke Beardon, a very informative one. You'll find a lot of information about him online.

A Novel I really enjoyed reading, even if it is meant for more younger people (I guess), was Mark Haddon's "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time"  

You and others mention the book "Odd Girl Out" I will have a look for that too. 

A movie which I find worth watching ( if you are a movie person) is "Temple Grandin" from 2010. It is a biopic about Temple Grandin, who is an autism spokesperson.  


Unfortunately I can't recommend helplines, as I would never use them. I'm avoiding phone calls as much as I can. 

I hope this all makes sense. English isn't my native language and sometimes I struggle finding the right way to explain myself (not that it would be easier in my mother language) 

I hope your weekend is a good one so far. 
Thank you again for your welcome :) 

That's okay, Lacrima.  I'm sure everyone understands.  One reply is probably enough.  However you feel happiest, though.

Take care,

Tom