Newly diagnosed adult female Newcastle 38 years old

Hello, 

I was diagnosed yesterday. Today I have been thinking about things that have happened to me or that I have done in the new knowledge of my diagnosis. It's very odd. I was surprised to be diagnosed. I asked if I was borderline but they looked horrified and said that I was 100%, no doubt classic autism. 

I'd like to say hello to people on here. Hello.

Parents
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Reply
  • Piggy77, I'm so sorry about your family's reaction :-( it is interesting that people try to minimise your diagnosis, even though your diagnosis with classic autism is very solid. Maybe they are trying to tell you they think you are okay in their eyes? Obviously they have no idea about the stresses and strains you face in your every day life. And that it might be useful to you to get recognition for your years of struggling?

    I like your idea of treating yourself with respect. I am often horrible to myself, because I never meet my expectations. Quite the opposite, I feel like I have messed up my life and any chance of finding happiness in the shape of family life or a fulfilling career.

    Becoming more oneself...Yes. I'm trying to get my head around these new thoughts. It kind of makes sense. For example, I have never found a partner - but maybe it was because I never was truly myself. This is rather a sad thought. A world of missed opportunity. The good side is: the more one is oneself maybe the more one attracts people who love you for who you are (but my experience as a child and teenager was one of being a carcass thrown to the vultures - I do not wish to put myself in that position ever again).


    It is strange that you too and others above feel that the diagnosis may be an error. Me too. So much. I wonder: "What if I had filled in other answers to some of the questions I wasn't quite sure about?" (you know those questions tick A or B and neither made sense).

    The thing is of course: it wasn't even my idea to get referred in the first place and even though it was suggested a while ago, I still feel I'm getting used to the idea. I feel asperger is what geeky computer specialists have - and as I can behave kind of "normal" - I somehow don't feel entitled to the excuse.

    It really makes sense what you say. Being true to yourself... it is probably the most beautiful gift we can give ourselves.

    I think that an important part for me will be acccepting the fact that stupid things stress me out. That I expect too much of myself. That I need to be assertive in drawing my boundaries.  And that it is okay to accept help (and need to start figuring out what kind of help I need).

    I have also started telling friends about boundaries and limits (even though I am hesitant about telling them about my diagnosis - they think I just have a burnout, or am depressed or just maybe crazy/lazy/not working/scrounging benefits). Saying for instance: I will meet up for two hours. Also I realise like if I have an evening with friends - if I stay to long I have an emotional hangover - and feel terrible all next day - but if I limit the time and leave early (even if I am enjoying the company) I feel better the next day. Also not combining too many stressful events in one day.

    I'll hold onto to the "treat yourself with respect idea". Maybe fully embracing and accepting our diagnosis, is the first step to being nice to ourselves?

Children
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