Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
since beginning my assessment very recently, I’ve been elated, confused, grief stricken, plus a whole array of other emotions. Now, after seeing my life in the past, through new eyes, I can see how my behaviour has never been Neuro-typical. It’s a wonderful realisation, to know exactly why I’ve spent my whole life struggling with everything, but now I’ve lost all confidence in how to communicate. I feel dumbstruck. I hate upsetting or offending anyone, it’s a trait at the heart of me and now I don’t know how to behave, I’m extremely confused. I can’t help feeling ‘masking’ throughout my life (I’m in my 50s) has made me a fraud, someone I don’t know anymore.
I feel exactly the same. I've just been diagnosed at 56.
All the feelings you mentioned chime with me.
I'm hoping I'll settle down to be a better person. If I can hold the boat steady long enough
Unfortunately I've got the added problem that my partner of 20 years who I have kids with, is due to leave me in next week or so.
I haven't told her about diagnosis as feel she might use it against me somehow. Blame it all on my condition.
On the other hand think I should tell her, as might be part of our problems.
It might not change your situation. But just knowing the diagnosis has helped me and my partner of 20+ years put a lot of my past behaviours and decisions/mistakes into context.
It doesn't explain everything, and doesn't excuse anything, but is surely a big part of it.
Thanks exist.
It's a dilemma. If I tell her at this late stage, it's like I'm grasping at straws.
She's already arranged somewhere to live, and we were going to tell kids this weekend.
I can't bear to tell them. Don't really want it to happen, even though I know we don't get on.
She can't wait to tell them.
Asperger's could be the cause of most of our problems. (She says I'm rigid, and too particular about things, loose my temper if things aren't done right or change, noise drives me nuts)
I just feel if I tell her, she'll probably still go, but she'll have a reason to blame me for breakup. If that makes sense
Yes, hindsight sucks, but we can't undo the past, only move forward from the now.
Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.
cheers.