Is it worth it?

Hi,

I’m trying to figure out whether or not it’s worth me giving everything my all to try and get the life that I want. My dad says that I can get such a life if I try really hard and overcome the barriers like anxiety and ocd. My mum says it’s not worth the mass amount of pressure it’s going to cause me. I’m confused about it and don’t know what to do.

Currently I’m at home, where I’ve been all my life. I’m 23 and have never had a job yet, I did look a few years back but no one hired me. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I rarely go out and despite driving sometimes with my sister I don’t hold a license.

The life I want is one as a husband and father, someone who works and can drive as well. On the grand scheme of things these aren’t that difficult for most people but for someone with Autism like me and you it’s about the hardest thing I can think of doing. I do want to make these things happen but at the same time I know it’s years of work. I don't cope with stress and I have little problems with the autism which make things extra difficult, ADHD, emetophobia and anxiety disorder. My ocd and anxiety aren’t in a good place and in the past the gp has been less than helpful. I feel like I’m on my own and only I can turn my life around but I have no idea how to do it, or if I can withstand the pressure.

Any help with this would be appreciated. Thanks!

-Goose.

Parents
  • All of these things - recovering from mental illness, getting a job, learning to drive, meeting someone and setting up a family etc. - all take lots of hard work, especially if you have some kind of barrier (such as autism). So in that respect, your dad is right - there are lots of people with autism that have recovered from mental illness, have gotten a decent job, have learned to drive, and have settled down and set up a family. Ask any of them, and they'll all say that it took a lot of work to do, but they're happy they did so. Having said that, you have to know your boundaries - willpower isn't enough to overcome some kinds of problems - e.g. some people simply can't drive because of some aspects of their autism being more severe.

    So I think it's really important to know what and where your boundaries are if you can - e.g. whether you can ever drive or not. For the places where the boundaries are looser, you can work hard to push them, and for the ones you can't, you accept that it's a limitation that you have to adapt to.

    Whether you have everything or nothing in life, we all have to make the best of our situation, and work hard to get what we want. Wish you the best with your endeavors! <3

Reply
  • All of these things - recovering from mental illness, getting a job, learning to drive, meeting someone and setting up a family etc. - all take lots of hard work, especially if you have some kind of barrier (such as autism). So in that respect, your dad is right - there are lots of people with autism that have recovered from mental illness, have gotten a decent job, have learned to drive, and have settled down and set up a family. Ask any of them, and they'll all say that it took a lot of work to do, but they're happy they did so. Having said that, you have to know your boundaries - willpower isn't enough to overcome some kinds of problems - e.g. some people simply can't drive because of some aspects of their autism being more severe.

    So I think it's really important to know what and where your boundaries are if you can - e.g. whether you can ever drive or not. For the places where the boundaries are looser, you can work hard to push them, and for the ones you can't, you accept that it's a limitation that you have to adapt to.

    Whether you have everything or nothing in life, we all have to make the best of our situation, and work hard to get what we want. Wish you the best with your endeavors! <3

Children
No Data