experience with therapist

hi everyone,

I am very concern the way i am being treated by my specialist as I felt they are forcing to adapt the normal enviroment and i am very traumatizing. I had been hurting myself alot these night with lots of bruises and cant sleep due to the depression.

my specialist had been forcing me to put down my special interest in disney characters, fairy tale and costumed characters and adapt the mainstream enviroment. they even force me to interact with someone I don't like (my peers). My peers loves things like sport and watching television whcih i don't like. 

In my world, i like playing with the children and we play together around my area with toys and dolls. the reason i like interacting with the children because they share interest like me. but my specialist is forcing me not to hang out with them because of age difference eventhought no one mind about it. their parent don't bother about this and no one care about this. but they still force me not to hang out with someone who shares interest like me while interact with someone don't have interest like me. they are doing this to me because of my age and i feel like they are bullying me. 

i am very traumatized but no adult are listening to me as they all are on my specialist side just because this lady is a therapist. if i talk to my parent about it, they will punnish me for not being greatful to my specialist. I have no one on my side. I need help.

I am being forced to adapting an enviroment that i don't like. I am very very traumatized.

Does anyone here is on myside and think it's okay of what i like to be doing as i need help.

reminder i am someone at my very late teen.

  • and also about out playing with my little friends, I often enjoy outplaying with other children and their parent don't mind about that. but since last time i met my speech therapist, she was telling my mum not to let me go out and play because of my age so now i haven't been out playing with other children for  a year and i am very depressed. i am forced to adapt the normal enviroment and interact with someone who dont have my interest. the speech therapist even saying that i am being inappropriate for playing with other children just because of my age eventhought those children, their parent and i don't even bother about it.

    i have no other adult who would listen to me. 

    this therapist often force me not to be too different as a way to prevent bullying and that is bullying me. but i shouldnt be doing things for bullies. and if i complain, i will be scolded by my parent for not being greatful to someone who is here to help me.

    just want to know what is the advantage on seeing a therapist and have section with them?

  • Hi Adrian,

    I’m sorry to hear that you are really struggling at the moment. It must feel that life is very unfair.

    I understand completely that you want to spend your time with people who share your interests; unfortunately sometimes that just isn’t possible. At 18 years of age, you are legally an adult in the UK and clearly this is something which is influencing the reactions of the adults who know you.

    At the end of the day, your parents and your therapist just want to keep you safe from harm, and that will include keeping you safe from false accusations, especially where children could be involved. I know it seems unfair to you right now, but they probably just want to help you learn about how your behaviour could be perceived by people who don’t know you and the risks that carries if they misinterpret your actions. Society can be quite judgemental and unforgiving even if you haven’t done anything wrong. I know it doesn’t seem right and is hard to understand but, unfortunately, this is the reality of the world we live in.

    Can your therapist put you in touch with your local autism support group? It might be a good way to meet people who also share your interests and, who knows, you may even make some good friends who are of a similar age to you.

    One thing we all have to learn as adults is how to compromise and how to negotiate. Maybe these are skills you could work on with your therapist? I think she would be very impressed if you ask her to help you learn these things and understand what feels like an acceptable compromise to you so you aren’t left feeling so bullied and traumatised.

    I hope that helps a little? Take good care of yourself.

    Nessie

  • what do you mean by false accusation. these kids usually don't mind playing with me and their parent don't mind and some of these kids do have autism. and we are just having fun with toys and things like that. so why is this an accusation. like i did that throught out my teenagehood and no one mind about it and  nothing had happened. so what false accusation could have. isnt age just means how long we have live

  • and are you saying that i shouldnt be outplaying now? 

  • just want to know when people talks about stranger safty to children, what age are these stranger they are talking about? nessie!


  • what do you mean by false accusation. these kids usually don't mind playing with me and their parent don't mind and some of these kids do have autism. and we are just having fun with toys and things like that. so why is this an accusation. like i did that throught out my teenagehood and no one mind about it and  nothing had happened. so what false accusation could have. isnt age just means how long we have live

    Not only does age involve how long we live, but also it can or does involve what type of behavior is expected by people such as for instance children playing more, and adults working more. The accusations  is referring to ~ involves what most people feel uncomfortable or suspicious about, regarding what are called 'Inappropriate Age Relationships'.

    Your parents will be under alot of stress to make sure that you mature to reach your full potential as a young adult, and that is why your therapist is involved in helping you to mature and get along with living in the world and taking your place in it as a unique and talented individual.

    The distress you are going through is a called a 'Right of Passage' or the 'hero's / herione's  journey' ~ which involves going through difficult situations to find what your strengths and capabilities are.

    So perhaps consider a Disney film that you most enjoy with the characters going through the 'Right of Passage' to become who they are meant to be ~ to do what they can or even must do to as a hero or heroine to make life good for all concerned; and do something similar yourself in a more befitting way possibly with your parents and therapist helping you?


  • As Deepthought said, age represents not only how long we have lived but also what behaviour is expected of us by society.

    Just because you haven’t been accused of doing something inappropriate with children so far, doesn’t mean you won’t be accused of doing something inappropriate in the future. Plus, the older you get, the more likely these accusations will be because people who don’t know you will increasingly question why a 21 year old, or 25 year old, or 30 year old, or 40 year old is spending so much time with young children.

    You know and your parents know that you have no interest in harming those children, but people who don’t know you will be very suspicious about your motives, especially as the age gap increases, which is why they may begin to accuse you of things that you haven’t done (make false accusations).

    Also, children do tell lies for a whole variety of reasons, and it would only take one lie from a child to put you in a great deal of trouble with the police and social services.

    These are the things your parents and therapist are trying to prevent from happening by encouraging you to start learning now how to spend your time doing more age-appropriate things. As I say, just because nothing has gone wrong yet doesn’t guarantee it won’t in the future, and as you get older it becomes more likely that someone will cause trouble for you. Even though their claims may be false, it will be very difficult to convince lawyers, judges and juries of it because they will see the world through prevailing social norms and age-appropriate behaviour, which your current behaviour doesn’t conform to.

    I certainly don’t meat to frighten you but these are the fears that your parents and therapist have, which is why they are trying so hard to discourage you from spending time with children. What may have been just about acceptable in your teenage years, will be less and less acceptable as you move further into adulthood. I’m sorry, but that is the reality of the world we all live in.

  • *mean (not “meat” in the last paragraph), I don’t know why auto-correct did that.

  • I'm not an expert (apart from being autistic and having had lots of therapy and read about it!) but it does strike me that you might be being pushed a bit too hard in a potentially unhelpful way.

    Therapy does involve struggle and "pain" if it is to work, as the whole point is to change something and change can be hard. But the ideal outcome for someone with ASD is likely to be different to that for someone without ASD, and if the therapist doesn't adjust accordingly then this can result in more long term pain rather than less.

    It's a well-recognised fact (and you can find this on the internet if you need evidence) that not every therapist is right for every person. It doesn't mean they are a bad therapist, just not the right one for you. So it's not helpful for your parents to say "You have a therapist so stop complaining".

  • But sorry, i have autism, and these kids and their parent don't mind about me spending times with them. their parent trust me and i trust them and i had been playing with these kids for a long time with no any trouble. and like what you just said about accusation because of my age, people could still accuse a 15 years old hurting a child eventhought they did not because they are spending time with a younger child. but i never experince that. their parent know i have autism and what you just said that's the world we are living in, that's not good enough as i am very traumatized with thta's the world we live in. autism is a forever disability and they should not be stop from being different. the society should know about autism, and some of these kids does have autism. 

    i feel like you are still on my therapist side