Don't really know how to start this post, I guess I'm just trying to reach out as I don't know where to go next... I haven't had any kind of official autism diagnosis.
I don't know how you know whether what you're feeling is down to autism or whether its just me... I'm scared of talking to the docs about autism again - I've already raised it once but the doc said what would it benefit me by knowing and when I look back on it that was the end it the conversation... yet I'm still fighting my own mind to try and work out why I can't make friends, don't fit in, can't look someone in the eye, obsess over hobbies and don't know how to talk about feelings... how do I know if this is autism or just my mind being crazy?? What if the docs just say it's me being silly?! How do you move on from a non-autism diagnosis?!
Any words of guidance please?!
I think Binary is right. The best place to start is by taking one of the Autism AQ tests. My own GP said there was quite a high correlation and reliability between these tests and a formal diagnosis. So, he was quite happy to refer me for a diagnostic assessment when I was able to tell him I'd already taken the test and got results that suggested I was very likely to be autistic (indeed, in-line with my autistic sensibilities, I'd taken variations of the test numerous times, and gotten fairly consistent results).
There are several variations on then test, but they all stem from the same origins. There's a 50-question version available at this link:
… or, you can take a newly revised 121-question version at the link below (personally, I find this one more insightful, as it provides a visual representation at the end of how your unique psychological topography is manifested):