Recently diagnosed - looking for support

My name isn't incorrectly spelled, I promise. Its a play on Aspie, and Aspiring. As I am aspiring to be a better, well informed autistic person

I am 31 - Male and from West Midlands. I was diagnosed with autism (Aspergers) about 4 months ago.

For 13 months I haven't been able to leave my house willingly (only if it was required / hospital / doctors etc) I had a massive amount of personal loss prior to this period of time, my health, a career and a fiance / step children. I reacted the way I always have in my life but luckily from that relationship, it led me to checking for autism.

Since being diagnosed a while back, I have relived every moment in my life, and every loss, issue, problem, misunderstanding, all the stress, anger, anxiety throughout my entire life to try and make sense of why things happened. I am involved with Autism West Midlands and I am learning a lot

My main problem is loneliness, I have no social life, and any chances of working, making friends or a relationship of any kind are very low for me right now, so I thought I would take the plunge and try to talk online about things

I struggle, every day, but I eventually want to give back, once I have a better understanding, and the right support. I will talk to anyone about anything :D especially if you are around my age, or recently diagnosed and also having trouble adjusting.

I'm sorry if this seems so formal, it was hard for me to write.

Thanks!

Parents
  • I have very recently been diagnosed too (only a few weeks ago). I'm a couple of years younger than you. I had suspected for a long while that I was on the spectrum so I haven't had trouble adjusting to that. I have struggled a little with not being bitter that I wasn't diagnosed when I was younger. I also haven't told anyone this yet (well apart from on here).

    I'm sorry you've had such a hard time. I hope you find the help you need to move forward. It sounds like a very difficult time but I hope you are glad that you got your diagnosis.

    I also struggle socially and with loneliness. I do have some friends but they're not close ones. I don't see or speak to them very often. I have a bit of a mental battle about social situations. On the one hand I do feel lonely and I get bored very easily and so want to socialise but then when I'm asked to I find myself very anxious and not wanting to go. I do also like my own space.

    I have found it easier to share thoughts on here. No one tells you what you have said is weird on here. I hope you find it helpful too.

  • I always knew something was "wrong" with me, I am glad I have some answers for it, but its been a long, difficult year trying to deal with my losses, and a very stressful few months since the diagnosis. I am trying to find focus and a way forward but it seems to be a lot more challenging than I thought it would. I to want to do things, but get anxious at the thought of doing it. It is incredibly frustrating and I don't see a way through it. It sucks badly. All I can do it play video games and watch life pass by at the moment :/

  • I like to watch films and read a lot. I go through phases where I feel quite down about my social life but I am also starting to have times where I can go "Do you know what this is who I am and I'm just gonna be ok with that". I also like to have little projects to do with stuff that I'm interested in. I find this really helps me. I do have a job so I do interact with people through that. I think I would find it really difficult without my job (even though it gets me stressed sometimes).

    Loss is always a difficult thing to deal with. I think it takes a lot of time. 

    Do you have any strong interests you could try to pursue? I find my interests calming and they also stop me from feeling so bored and lonely.

Reply
  • I like to watch films and read a lot. I go through phases where I feel quite down about my social life but I am also starting to have times where I can go "Do you know what this is who I am and I'm just gonna be ok with that". I also like to have little projects to do with stuff that I'm interested in. I find this really helps me. I do have a job so I do interact with people through that. I think I would find it really difficult without my job (even though it gets me stressed sometimes).

    Loss is always a difficult thing to deal with. I think it takes a lot of time. 

    Do you have any strong interests you could try to pursue? I find my interests calming and they also stop me from feeling so bored and lonely.

Children
  • I don't really have any major special interests, other than gaming, it was my career aswell as my hobby. Its incredible unhealthy for me right now, always in the house not exercising, but it helps to a certain extent. I want to be at the stage of saying I am ok with who I am, and I think I am. I just don't want to be alone anymore. I don't want to miss out on things in life. I want a family, kids and stuff like that. I don't know how to get from here to there though, its hard enough for family to understand and accept who I am, let alone new people / potential relationships! It sucks!

    My only other interests are solo kind of interests, and expensive (collecting things) which I can't afford at the moment because I don't work!