I am yet to be diagnosed and really struggling with all the faux pas I've probably committed over the years. I have extreme social anxiety, but when actually committed to a conversation I open up far too much and living in a small community its just making me not want to go out at all.
I've tried masking for years but truth is I just don't have the energy to mask or keep friendships going. I'm panicking a lot and feel at odds with the world. I feel too much! I feel like a fraud as I have no diagnosis, I feel like I will lose the plot if I'm diagnosed and be even worse if I remain undiagnosed. I am sick of hearing were all on the spectrum it just doesn't help me at all I don't understand the world or the people in it and want to hide away or be mute.
I don't have any answers no one takes me seriously so I don't feel like I can talk about it.
Thank you for your reply it's given me a lot of food for thought, I won't lie I am still a bit confused with it all but I think it's my brain that isn't quite ready to take on information that could change my perception yet again. Gosh hope this makes sense, apologies if not but yes at the moment with little support I seem to be randomly offending people or annoying them every so often so it's not surprising I have this social anxiety. Why I annoy or offend I have absolutely no idea which is quite frankly scary.
I'm trying my hardest to be authentic and self censor myself but it's so difficult with so many variables I can't account for. So I have decided to stay quiet, listen and try to show an interest in how other people are. Well it's my goal anyway lol
I'm so cross this wasn't picked up sooner, it's only my insistence that they're doing this assessment. I've had people tell me I'm not autistic over the years yet now it seems so obvious that I am. Im scared of not having a diagnosis after all of these years struggling to get one.
Thank you so much for your message, I really needed to hear it as I'm so close to giving up a fair portion of the time and it's given me the drive to see this through. Thank you.
This is how I feel too, completely lost who I am and where I belong. If yould like to be support buddies please inbox me I'd like that very much.
So many diagnoses are missed during childhood I don't think this is a valid point at all. I'm almost fourty!
I'd like that too, but I'm not sure how to do it, are there instructions somewhere? (I'm not the most computer literate of people.)
I feel likewise from time to time. I'm sure you are stronger than you think, sometimes you need help to bring out your strength. Trouble is often one can't find anyone close enough to help. Sites like this are quite useful. Also books and publications, especially ones about autism.
For some people diagnosis helps - it's like a big weight off their shoulders. For others diagnosis actually makes them tighten up. Please consider carefully and then proceed with conviction the decision you come. Better days will come so stay strong.
I'm so confused sorry for rubbish reply times been ill with a bug still trying to get to grips with the site too. I'll try messaging you! Hope you are OK x