Women with aspergers syndrome

I am 34 ans i have been suffering with anxiety and depression for a long time as well as ocd and being ott and obessive and i am having trouble letting go of the past and my stupid mistakes.It is so hard feeling so anxious and worried about every little thing especially when i cant change them and  it would be nice to talk to someone who may be feeling the same as me 

  • Ok take care good night sleep well

  • Maybe tomorrow or another time. Going to try to sleep now. Sweet dreams! 

  • U are ok and yes u been very helpful would  u like to talk again

  • It wasn’t you annoyed me. It was the irrelevant asking for research. Someone else. Glad to hear you are feeling better. We have to live and learn I’m afraid. I hope I haven’t annoyed you. I’m not very good at this. I’m going to bed soon. I hope I have been supportive. It’s helped me too. Thanks. 

  • Thanks i have learnt from it and wont ever do it again but just wish i could forget it i cant change it i know that and it wasnt illegeal just full of regret and thanks for the help and sorry if annoyed u or anything 

  • Also, not all relationships work out. Nobody’s fault. Not yours. Life is painful at times but beautiful at others. 

  • Can you talk to your friends before doing anything with a man? Are you able to set yourself limits beforehand? Maybe write a checklist even? Decide also what is acceptable generally and what is abuse or grooming. Maybe discuss with others, so you have clearer boundaries. The good men out there would not push you out of your comfort zone, but you have to know where your comfort zone is, I’m afraid. And you do have to let him know clearly too. If this wasn’t anything illegal, try to put it down to experience. You’ll be ok. It’s good to write. 

    • I think i do i wonder where all the decent men are and even talking to u has made me feel better and i always make mistakes and im left hurt etc and i beat myself up to when men do whatever and they dont care and i always seem to make bad decisions and i write about my feelings or cbt or self help notes or i write down my mistakes and try and find the positive advice from my friends 
  • Maybe you need time out with a film or tv then. Reading can be difficult when feeling really bad. I’m sure it’s not just us two. I think other people beat themselves up too! Maybe they will answer your post tonight. I even beat myself up for letting someone take advantage of me! I’m middle aged. I would say it’s got easier. Now I try to pre plan what I actually want, and don’t go all out to do what other people seem to want. I will probably still slip up. I’m an imperfect human! 

  • Its ok sorry for two messages and i like to read and write and watch tv amd movies not much bit boring really and i do feel bad and upset amd hate myself and i have done with men i regret and out of character for me and hate it to and itshard to make friendships and relationships and with autism people think its ok to use u as vulnerable

  • I agree people, often men, can take advantage and I end up doing things I regret. I wish I wasn’t so gullible at times! 

  • Sorry for gap. Had to answer phone. Do you have any hobbies? Classical music helps me level out. Are you feeling particularly bad right now? 

  • I try but it is not easy especially at night when alone and i start to dwell on things and like u beat myself up about them ihave made some stupid massive mistakes which i hate myself for and i cant let it go i know i cant.change it but still dosent take away the guilt or any other emotions and being autistic makes it harder and i try and right down what i feel bad about

  • I hate it when things go wrong or if i screw up and i do like things being done a certain way and time etc and get anxious if its not i just wish i could forget this one particular thing as it is something i did in the heat of the moment and totally out of character for me but i felt under pressure and being autistic i think sometimes people especially men take advantage 

  • Not only have I made massive mistakes, but I am also a perfectionist. Are you?

  • Thats what im like especially when on ny own every evening i start dwelling on stuff i have made some stupid massive mistakes and feel ashamed but going over and over it will not do anythingit just brings me down so i start beating my self up but i do write feelings down and write about the thing i worry about and try and put a postitive aspect on it and remember other peoples advice they have gave and write it down and read over it i have learnt from it but hate myself for being so stupid and doing it its hard when have autism even more to just forget 

  • Maybe try to distract your thoughts to break the obsessive cycle? I find cleaning helps me! At night it’s not so easy. I have to get up and make a drink. I don’t know how to stop beating myself up over stuff that nobody else probably remembers. It does help me too to meet someone else here who feels the same. 

  • Hi yes it does to now i am not the only one like it and i just hate myself for things i have done and i cant change them so i dont know why obesses over them just regret it and thank u

  • Hi rr84. I don’t know if it’s any help, but I feel the same. The past just won’t stay in the past. I obsess over mistakes etc. I cannot change anything. I want to get past thinking like this. Maybe try CBT. There must be a way of getting passed the past.