Adult female looking for an ASD diagnosis

Hi Everyone, 

I'm 24 years old. I have just joined this community as I am currently attempting to get an autism diagnosis. After a whole lifetime of dealing with severe mental health issues and misdiagnoses, I finally discovered that the 'symptoms' of autism/aspergers that females experience described me completely. I am now attempting to navigate the process of accepting myself and finding a diagnosis and appropriate support in my community. On one hand, I am so relieved to have finally realised why I have always struggled, and to have found something that fits my experience in the world. On the other hand, I have started obsessing over every little detail from my past and trying to connect the dots (I'm a little obsessive) and I'm finding the whole situation a little overwhelming. I don't know anyone else who has dealt with this before. I would be so grateful for any advice from anyone, or to hear from people who share the same concerns and worries. I'm so nervous for the future, and I have no idea what I'm doing! 

Love from J  

Parents
  • Hi there,

    Both articles were incredibly useful to me so thank you.

    I actually asked my counsellor today (who I was sent to see when rediagnosed with an Anxiety Disorder/depression) what she thought in regards to the potential of me having Autism. She stated that through the nine hours we had spent talking, she wouldn't think so because if I was I wouldn't have been able to engage with her the way I do and that I wouldn't be as good a teacher as I am if I was.

    I can understand where she is coming from with a traditional set of autism symptoms, however I know that I score highly when taking diagnostic tests and that it becomes more apparent when I am at home and don't need to be 'normal'. I feel like I've learnt how to behave in the way that's expected (maintaining eye contact, discussing feelings, being caring towards students...) and that it didn't necessarily come naturally to me. I'm good at connecting with a person one to one or in small groups but anything else is difficult.

    Is this typical of autistic females and realisticly, what chance do I have of getting a diagnosis in the UK?

    Thanks,

    Louise

  • She stated that through the nine hours we had spent talking, she wouldn't think so because if I was I wouldn't have been able to engage with her the way I do and that I wouldn't be as good a teacher as I am if I was.

    I wouldn't necessarily put too much store by that.  I was seeing my therapist for a couple of years before she began to suggest autism as the likely root of my problems.  I engaged with her very well.  I engage well in therapy groups with peers.  Many people have said to me that I don't come across as autistic.  That's because - as you've suggested yourself - I've 'learned' many things over my lifetime.  I wear my masks well.  I'm open with discussing my feelings, and I work in care with autistic people.  Again, I've been told that I couldn't be autistic because I'm a carer.  I think this is based on misunderstandings around the whole 'self-absorbed' and 'empathy' thing.  I can care for people.  I can care about them.  But I can't put myself into their shoes.  I still miss a lot of body language.  I don't understand why I can sometimes upset people by what I say.  I still can't, after years of trying, maintain eye contact.  I've learned to ask people how they're feeling, but it doesn't make a lot of difference to me.  I'm not especially interested.  If many of the people who say to me 'Are you sure?' had seen me when I was younger - in my childhood through to my late 20s - they'd have been left in no doubt.  I like people.  I seem very sociable.  But I don't like being around people for too long.  I don't like socialising.  And when I'm not at work, I'm at home behind my door, alone - as I prefer to be.

    What are your counsellor's qualifications?  Is she primarily a mental health counsellor?  I had mental health people tell me time and again that I couldn't be autistic.  There's a lot of misunderstanding out there about the condition.  A lot of stereotyping, too.

  • I think she's primarily a mental health counsellor specialising in anxiety, depression and grief.

    She's a lovely woman and I'm going to miss her (I'm moving back home soon) but I think she's wrong on this occassion.

    The article you linked to above really resonated with me so thank you for linking to it!

  • My diagnostic interview took just over an hour.  My mother was also interviewed briefly.  But the weight of evidence was very strong - and the psychologist noted my lack of eye contact, overly-detailed answers, etc.  Mum's testimony also confirmed a few things.

Reply
  • My diagnostic interview took just over an hour.  My mother was also interviewed briefly.  But the weight of evidence was very strong - and the psychologist noted my lack of eye contact, overly-detailed answers, etc.  Mum's testimony also confirmed a few things.

Children
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