Lost generation woman

Hi! I’m over 60 and recently diagnosed ASD. I’ve spent an awful life of being misdiagnosed and even incarcerated, due to the psychiatric services in the second half of the 20th Century having rigid ideas about what mental illness is. Or what it isn’t. Now they can’t get their heads around ASD, and PTSD caused largely by their mistreatment, actually causes depression. They don’t even understand ‘are you hearing voices?’ leads the the logical conclusion ‘Yes. Yours!’ I see the funny side now. Over 45 years too late. I am a whole person, with positive as well as negative attributes. Psychiatrists really do seem incapable of seeing anything other than negatives in patients, in my experience. I think things are improving for the young generation. How many other lost people like me were there? How many are still out there? How do we learn at such a late stage to help ourselves be the best version of ourselves we can be? I am a successful, musical, empathetic person. I am at last finding my wings, like a teenager in a body falling apart!!!! I would love to support other people. And I think it’s so important to each be ourselves. The kids at school these days think they are being so individual ..... yet they all want the same phone/trainers etc. I do believe people should learn to be more tolerant of differences. But what do I know? I’m a 17 year old trapped in a sixty plus year body.

Parents
  • Hey, you’re older than me. I’m a 13 year old boy in a 51 year old woman’s body, although for a moment the other day, I actually thought I was something else altogether, although I can’t remember what it was just now. I just know it amused me when I realised I wasn’t that but that I had thought I was! Lol! 

    I think our aspie brains are hysterical, but like you, it took me many years to see the funny side! 

    And yes, I tell the kids it’s great to be weird! I say the ones that aren’t are simply followers, they’re playing simple simon, they’re all doing the same things, they’re not using their own minds. But the weird ones, I say, they’re something else. They do what they want to do, not what somebody tells them to do and they don’t care what anybody else thinks about them. They’re brave. But I say it’s ok to be like that (the followers) as well, just don’t judge weird people. 

    It would be great if you set up a local support group. My support group has become my family. We’ve been out together today and a few of us (the boys) are starting a list of all the things we want to do, such as go ice skating, trampolining, lazer quest, etc as we’ve started to do trips as well now. Honestly, I can’t tell you what a difference having that group has made in my life and it was started by a mother who was struggling with her then undiagnosed son and now it’s for adults on the spectrum as well. I love it. There’s tons of support, including financial support, to help you set a group up. 

    And sadly, there are many more of us out there who still haven’t got a clue that they’re autistic. I think we’re like the first big wave of adults which means we now have an opportunity to tell the experts what’s really going on. They don’t really know, how could they? They observe our behaviours from the outside and come up with what they think is going on and it’s often inaccurate and as you said,  for those of us who lived undiagnosed, we have challenges particular to that and like you said, they seem to ignore the impact of all that. I’m certainly not ‘blaming’ them for anything, but things have an impact. Every action has a reaction or a consequence and they must be held accountable, if necessary, for their part otherwise things will never get better. And yes, the psychiatrists etc do see the negatives because the whole system is built around ill health and sickness. Doctors are trained this way. They’re not trained on how to achieve optimum health they’re trained to spot and treat illness and sickness. I rarely ever go to doctors, I’m one of those weird people who doesn’t go and doesn’t take her kids but I’ll be forever grateful to them since I got my diagnosis so I do have a lot more respect for them now. I think they’re truly amazing people, who have big hearts and massive intentions to help people, they’re just trained by the pharmaceuticals and they’re trained in sickness. Even with heart attacks, they perform invasive surgery when the problem could be turned around with diet, in most cases. But as you said, we’re definitely heading in the right direction and that’s great.  You sound like you’d be an amazing group leader. I’d love to come to your group. 

    Oh, and you absolutely can rebuild that body. The body is made up of trillions of cells that are constantly renewing themselves. If you nourish the cells by giving them what they need, it will rebuild and reclaim much of its youth. If you want to know what cells need, go into nature and look around. 

  • Hi BlueRay! That’s some really good ideas. Thanks. You sound really cheerful. I’ve always found quirky people interesting. Then someone called me quirky, so I don’t think it’s an insult. Also individual thinkers create, invent things and shape the world. Or they can lie down and dream about it! I will look into whether there’s a local group already. Thanks. Yes, doctors, surgeons etc are very skilled at what they do and are marvellous. I have still to get my head round the fact I have always behaved in a way the psychs etc couldn’t fathom. They are wired differently. Nobody’s fault. Not mine or theirs. I also recognise others who were ‘in the system’ but rejected. Not helped. Mistreated. I guess we were always there really. Enjoy doing a few things with your group. Keep young! 

Reply
  • Hi BlueRay! That’s some really good ideas. Thanks. You sound really cheerful. I’ve always found quirky people interesting. Then someone called me quirky, so I don’t think it’s an insult. Also individual thinkers create, invent things and shape the world. Or they can lie down and dream about it! I will look into whether there’s a local group already. Thanks. Yes, doctors, surgeons etc are very skilled at what they do and are marvellous. I have still to get my head round the fact I have always behaved in a way the psychs etc couldn’t fathom. They are wired differently. Nobody’s fault. Not mine or theirs. I also recognise others who were ‘in the system’ but rejected. Not helped. Mistreated. I guess we were always there really. Enjoy doing a few things with your group. Keep young! 

Children
  • Great to find someone who sees the beauty in simple natural things too. Good getting to know you BlueRay. You are a wise person indeed! I will enjoy this space.  I might even go out and blow some bubbles when I get bold enough!! Anyone for bubble blowing? !! 

  • Me too ~ I can loose myself for hours in a single drop of dew on a single blade of grass which reflects all the colours of the rainbow in that one tiny droplet of rain ~ truly truly amazing! And as much as I love my time spent with my aspie friends, I also need a good few days to decompress from the interactions, which is just perfect, as I also happen to love spending time with just me :-D 

  • I honestly think we’re okay at socialising at our own level and on our own often interesting and random topics! I also see a lot of non verbal communication going on. Just not the way the majority communicate. Mind you, I need to decompress on my own too! Sometimes I just admire the beauty in nature. The colours reflected in a dewdrop or the intriguing formation of clouds. Other times it’s the familiar stains on my bedroom ceiling. 

  • Me too, I just adore the conversations that I have with my friends at my local autism group and we’re all so darn interesting. Our conversations are so honest, innocent, random, non judgmental, naive and often childlike, they’re all sorts of things, nothing like the conversations I used to have with nt’s. I love it that all three of the boys I sit with would love girlfriends. It’s like I’m in a different world when I’m with them. It’s like being in my world but with them. If that makes sense. And it’s the unspoken invisible language that binds is and makes our conversations effortless. We’re all vastly diffetent yet we all share the invisible bond of autism and life really is so much more fun when you’ve got your pals. I also love that we’re all the same regarding friendships in that we like to keep it largely at the group. I like to spend most of my time by myself and social interactions, no matter how great they are, require time and space for me to process etc but we’re all the same ~ how perfect is that! None of us wants to be in the others pockets. So they’re like the best friendships in the world. I highly encourage everyone to join a group. Some people just sit there and don’t say much at all but they enjoy being in a space with others where they can be themselves.