New member and awaiting first appointment.

Hello everyone I first found this website back in January when I was looking for information on Aspergers after hearing about symptoms and traits and thinking to myself there is a big possibiliy I may have had it for the whole 35 years of my life.

I did some online tests think one was from a university by some guy called Cohen and I nearly scored top marks. Also I took an empathy test and that was sky high too for lacking empathy towards people.

I don' know where to start so bare with me I will share my story and shorten it as much as I can.

Ever since I was a young child I was always told I was shy at family gatherings and I really hated them too. I'd always kick up a fuss wanting to stay at home on my own in my bedroom with either my Lego or cars or games console.

All my life I've suffered with anxiety in social situations because I get worried I may not understand what the person is saying properly or it may take a few seconds for my brain to digest what' being said and then takes me a few seconds to think of what to reply as it doesn' come naturally to me. I've always found it hard explaining things to people I don't know and it' not so bad with my wife and kids because they give me time as they know I struggle.

I find it awkward at work if there's a joke being told and I very often don't get it or cannot tell when someone is being serious or telling a joke so I just laugh to pretend I find it funny but worry if the person is being serious or not. I get told I am quiet but deep down it' because I don't really want to be around people and when I do talk I come out with something people least expect. My manager said to me other month May the 4th be with you and I replied "I don't  watch Starwars" he said it again and I was puzzled until he had to spell it out to me it was a joke because it was May the 4th. Just an example.

I got bullied when I left school in college because I couldn't make friends easy and when I did they took the micky out of me for my speech etc. 

Anyway long story short it' been a struggle all my life I see patterns in nearly everything I've always been fascinated with car number plates as they tell me how old the cars are I read this can be a trait people on the spectrum can have.

My special interest in my whole life is my football team and football in general. I'm addicted to my games console and only play one game which is Fifa. Life is hard for my wife living with me too as she always says I'm selfish obsessive and she says I have an addictive personality. I always get obsessions with new things and when I do it'  all or nothing then I move onto something else. 

I always feel like I need to keep my mind ticking over doing puzzles or games as it's where I feel mostly relaxed. 

Anyway I could carry on forever but I was just wondering if anyone thinks I maybe wasting my time going for an assesment I've been on the waiting list  for 6 months. I rang the place I've been referred to from my GP last week to see if I'm still on the waiting list and the lady said it can take up to 12 months. 

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

  • Thanks for the reply. If I'm completely honest I am really thankful I came across this website as I no longer feel that I am alone with struggles. I always felt odd growing up and after reading other people's stories has helped me relax alot and not worry about feeling different.

    I think my next biggest worry would be being told I'm not on the spectrum so then I suppose I will just have to accept my brain is slow and how I process information is just me and that I'll just have to keep plodding along through life as I have done.

    I feel like I've got alot of RAM (random access memory) but with an out of date processor (slow) alot of the time. It' not that I don't get things but I digest it all slowly before coming up with an outcome.

    Does anybody else ever experience in the work place comments like "here's the lad" or "here comes trouble" for example? Or ever feel like people talk to you different compared to others because they may think you don't grasp what they are saying?

  • Hello. Well I can see why you're going for an autism assessment, but I'm not sure why you think you'd be wasting your time. Sounds like you took the AQ and EQ from the Autism Research Centre (incidentally, I don't think the EQ really measures 'empathy', although it alleges a high score is associated with empathy.) A lot of what you describe about not processing social communication quickly sounds like stereotypical 'Asperger Syndrome' (which is just part of 'Autism Spectrum Disorder' under the US diagnostic system, and most people just call autism nowadays).

    When I was a small child a long time ago, my mum used to work in a garage, and while there I was given a book of the three-letter codes that indicated where the car was registered, so I could identify the cars that were filling up. Thinking back, this feels less like autistic behaviour given that the book already existed for some reason.

    Good luck with the diagnosis.