New, and does anyone relate to this?

Hi, I've literally only just signed up to this page. I was recently diagnosed with autism last month after waiting 10 years. Along side with autism I have been diagnosed with extreme anxiety, which makes it even more difficult to cope in certain situations. 

I was discussing autistic meltdowns with my close friends who is also autistic, and he was saying to me that he feels helpless while I'm having a meltdown because I don't like being touched or even talked to during it. Does anyone else have this? I know a few autistic people who find it helpful for people to psychically comfort them when they're extremely stressed, but I absolutely hate it and I find it makes me feel even worse. Is anyone else like this? I feel quite alone in this situation.

Thank you :) 

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  • Welcome. I've only been here a few days, but seems like a useful and interesting forum.

    I've only had meltdowns occasionally, and before my recent diagnosis might have called them 'outbursts', 'furies' or 'fugues' and it's possible someone else might have said 'fits'. Things reach a trigger threshold when you thought you were in control. I doubt there would usually be any comfort available.

    From what other people say, you're probably with the majority. In an emotional crisis, any more stimulation of any sort may only add to the stress of trying to process thoughts and regain control. I probably wouldn't be in the mood for a hug. What some people might think of as sensible suggestions I'm likely to have already considered and the expectation of a response won't help. The best thing for people to do is to stay calm, and 'reduce language'. Maybe an 'It's OK' would be OK.

    There are probably parallels from outside autism that might help people understand. There are times when a row or situation is just going so badly that one needs to recognise that it's not the time or the place and people need to walk away for a bit and cool off. That's not necessarily long-term avoidance. In a relationship, one person may get coldly angry, and that can be really uncomfortable for the person wanting to help or atone or apologise.

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